A Mindful Perspective
Welcome to my podcast! I'm Nick Levesque, and I'm on a mission to help you navigate life's challenges with a mindful perspective. Join me every week as I dive deep into the realms of mindset, spirituality, and personal growth. Drawing from my own experiences, I want to provide you with tools, strategies, insights, and inspiring stories that will help you go from where you are now, to where you want to be.
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A Mindful Perspective
Struggling with Holiday Stress? Here Are 7 Tips to Get Through It
In this week’s episode, we’re diving into the challenges of holiday stress. I’ll break down why the holidays can be such a difficult time—whether it’s financial strain, grief, loneliness, or navigating tricky family dynamics. We’ll explore how to recognize the sources of holiday stress and share practical strategies to help you prioritize your well-being, set boundaries, and find moments of peace during this season. If the holidays ever leave you feeling overwhelmed or anxious, this episode is for you.
Hello everyone and welcome to A Mindful Perspective. I'm your host, nick Levesque, certified Spiritual Life Coach, and I'm here to share insights into my journey of mindfulness and self-discovery. Each week, we'll explore mindset, spirituality and personal growth to help you navigate life's challenges with practical strategies and inspiring stories. Let's dive in.
Speaker 2:In today's video, I want us to talk about something that I feel isn't acknowledged enough, and that is holiday stress.
Speaker 2:Okay, because, obviously, as we all know, the holidays can be a great time to celebrate with loved ones, to connect with friends, to connect with family, to eat all our favorite foods right, especially the foods that sometimes we only get once a year. Okay, but unfortunately for a lot of people, okay, for a lot of individuals, holidays are very stressful. Okay, holidays are not only stressful, but they can be very difficult to navigate as well. Okay, so in today's video, I really wanted to take some time to talk about this, and I wanted to take some time to talk about how it's so difficult for certain people, and I also want to share some tips and tricks on how to navigate and cope with that holiday stress. So, as we all know, the holidays can be very stressful for a lot of different reasons. Right, it could be financial, it could be the pressure to buy gifts right, sometimes we want to buy that perfect gift, but sometimes gifts are very expensive and if we're being honest with ourselves and having that conversation, we can't really afford expensive gifts. Right, and that's completely okay, by the way. I don't believe that we have to go broke over holidays. Okay, we can buy gifts to people, for people, that are not that expensive, okay, but it's not only gifts. Sometimes it could be traveling okay, for certain people it's not only a car drive or a two-hour drive away, it could be a flight, as an example. Okay, it could be different things. It could be hosting events. There's so many different things that can be financially stressful, right, and it can feel very overwhelming, especially if money is tight. Okay, so that could be one specific avenue that's very stressful during the holidays. It could be family gatherings Okay, and this is something I feel isn't talked about enough, but family gatherings can be extremely difficult for a lot of individuals. Okay, because sometimes navigating those family dynamics and those family gatherings can be extremely tricky if there's tension between certain individuals, or maybe there's someone that you don't get along with, right, maybe there's relatives in your family that don't don't get along together, and then you know, every year you expect to kind of the same thing where it's kind of like this clash right Between the families or between the family members, or it's someone that you don't specifically get along. Maybe there's a few family members that you don't get along with, specifically for a lot of different reasons. Okay, and this is very valid. Okay.
Speaker 2:It could be, obviously, loneliness. Unfortunately, okay, as sad as this is, some people do spend the holidays entirely alone. Okay, and obviously spending the holidays alone can kind of amplify those feelings of isolation and sadness. Okay, it could also be grief and loss, okay, and this is a this is a big one for a lot of people. And when I say grief and loss, obviously it could be the like, the death or the passing of a loved one or a family member, but it could also be breaking up with someone or the divorce, as an example. That can also be.
Speaker 2:In my personal opinion, that is considered grief and loss, and those two things can actually change the family dynamic a lot during the holidays and can also change the traditions as well For a number of different reasons, as we all know. But sometimes if you've been with someone for five years, as an example, and then you break up right before the holidays and then they're not there during that holiday, right, that's a, that's a major shift in dynamic, right For you specifically, maybe for the family as well. There's so many different things, okay, and it could also be that maybe someone in your family unfortunately passed away, okay, that obviously changes the family dynamic at Christmas time as well. I mean, if there was a specific tradition that you enjoy doing with that specific family member, but then they're not there, right? So obviously traditions can change as well. So there are so many different things that can really lead to that holiday stress, and these are just a few, right, but a few that I think are very important to highlight and to talk about.
Speaker 2:Okay, and I want you to just, and before I dive into tips and tricks, I just I really want to kind of highlight this and put emphasis on this but it's okay, okay, it's completely okay to not be okay during the holidays. Sometimes I feel like we, almost it's for for some people, I think, like they, they they think it's like a Hallmark movie type of thing, right, it's like a Hallmark movie type of thing, right, where we, you know it's the holidays, we need to be giddy, we need to be happy, all these different things, but it's completely okay to not be okay during the holidays. If you are going through something that's very difficult, that is completely valid and that's completely 100% okay. So let's talk about a few things that have personally helped me navigate the holiday stress, because I'm going to be very honest here, right, I stress because I'm going to be very honest here, right, I find the holidays very stressful myself. So I kind of put a few things that really helped me, things that I've heard from clients, things that I've heard from friends by talking with a lot of people. But I just wanted to share some tips that I thought could maybe help if you're going through a lot of stress during the holidays, right? So tip number one that I want to share very, very basic, but it's to take care of yourself and your basic needs.
Speaker 2:Okay, if there's anything for me specifically that I find very stressful during the holidays, as if you will is the disruption of routine. So I'm a person that's very routine oriented, right. So obviously, when you travel down home, it's you know you're completely out of your routine, okay. So for me personally like what that looks like for me, okay, and especially that I'm in the gym a lot and all these different things I tried to stick to my routine a lot, because coming, like you know, a few weeks before the holidays, for me personally it always does this, right, I start to get stressed a little bit more, right, the gifts you need to buy, gifts you need to, you know, plan you need to do all these different things, okay, and for me that's kind of down home, and I know that. You know, again, my routine is not going to be the same, as you know, and it's very well worth it. Obviously you're, you're going to visit family, all these different things, but you know, if I'm being honest, right, and I'm acknowledging that, I do get stressed and sometimes I do get overwhelmed. So for me, keeping that momentum, keeping that routine, um, is extremely helpful and very healthy for me personally, right? So it looks like, obviously, keeping my body active and moving as much as I can. So obviously, when I go down home for those few days, I don't go to the gym, but I do try to stay active as much as I can. I'll just bring my dog Hunter out for a walk, whatever helps me just move my body, get some fresh air and just really keep that momentum going. Right.
Speaker 2:And obviously I do enjoy some foods as well, but I make sure to have nourishing food as well, and I think this is very important too, right, obviously, as you, you know, as you indulge in food. Nothing wrong with that? I think that's one of the best things about Christmas, right? And the holiday time is to eat the food that you want to eat, right, the delicious food that sometimes you only get once a year. But I also like to balance that with healthy food as well, so that I don't end up feeling too sluggish and I don't end up feeling not well.
Speaker 2:Okay, and you know, I think, for me personally anyways, if I eat three days of completely, you know, garbage as an example, I know that it'll stress me out a bit more, right, I know, just because obviously it's not the food that, you know, my body's meant to take, my body's meant to incorporate, right, but again, it's all about balance. That's what I'm saying. Yes, I have the good food, but I also stick to my plan as much as I can, right? So tip number one is very simple, right, it's really just to take care of yourself and your basic needs. Tip number two is to plan ahead, okay, so I'm not saying that you need an entire roadmap per year or a specific game plan, but if you can plan ahead as best as you can, that will definitely help to eliminate some of the holiday stress, okay. So for me personally, right, this year.
Speaker 2:One thing that I focused on this year to really kind of eliminate that holiday stress or help me through the holiday stress, is to get my gift shopping done earlier. Okay, typically I'm guilty of this. I'm someone that does this last minute, okay, and then you end up getting stressed, right, so you try to order online last minute and then it's not going to get in, like, to the location in time because of shipping, all these different things. And then you need to go to the mall and then the mall is completely packed, as an example, and then, right, stuff is sold out everywhere. So, and then that, for me, stresses me out, right. So this year I took the liberty to do that earlier, okay, and that's just one aspect, but many things can be planned ahead. Right. Make your travel right. If you need to travel specific places, if you know you have specific family events, okay. For me personally, like I know where I'm going pretty much every day that I'm down home, okay, like my aunts text me, hey, like we're having supper here the 25th or I know where I'm going to the 24th, and for a lot of us I think it's kind of like that routine every year, but for me personally, I just noticed that it helps when I'm a little bit more planned, right. It kind of helps alleviate some of that stress during the holidays, right? So that's really what I wanted to say.
Speaker 2:With tip number two, again, it's not to you don't need an entire roadmap, okay, but a small game plan and just planning as best as you can, I really find can help cope with that holiday stress. Tip number three is to budget and be realistic with your money, right, it's about that financial boundary, if you will. And again, I'm not a financial advisor by any means, but I truly do believe that sometimes in this generation we live in a more of a, like, materialistic society, okay, A materialistic generation, and gifts as much as they're appreciative and as much as they're nice to receive, okay. If you truly can't afford to spend that much on something, then please don't spend it. Don't go broke trying to impress someone, okay. I've heard many conversations with friends and you know just friends and different people that they want to buy something for their spouse or their partner and like, oh, I really want to get this, okay, and they generally can't afford it, but they buy it anyways, okay. So now, not only are you stressing yourself out because you're buying something that you can barely afford, but you're also setting yourself back financially, not only for the next few weeks, but potentially for the next few months or for the next years. An example Okay, it's really not worth it, and you know there are so many different ways that you can.
Speaker 2:You know, give someone at Christmas, whether it's taking them out to an event, right, buying a smaller gift, but maybe it's something that you make. Specifically, I have a friend that makes gifts herself and you know, to me, that is worth more than anything else, right, she makes, like, the nicest cards, all these different things and like, that is to me, that's a gift from the heart, that's a gift from the soul, and this is what I'm trying to say. But there's nothing wrong with buying someone a gift. But truly, like, take a step back and really think about that, right, is what I'm buying actually going to set me back financially? If so, I really think you have to take a step back and have an honest conversation with yourself. Okay, and obviously, if you're not breaking the bank, that is going to significantly eliminate a lot of the stress, right, because you know I was reading something and a lot of people right, their main stress over the holidays is financial stress. Okay, so this is why I'm highlighting this importance. Okay, I think it's something we all know intuitively. But sometimes, you know, we just we want to impress, we want to buy the best gift, all these different things. But please just take a take a moment, take a breath, before you buy something. If you really can't afford it, please don't buy. Don't go broke trying to impress someone.
Speaker 2:Tip number four is to manage family dynamics as best as you can. Okay, so, obviously we can't control how you know things unfold, but we can control how we respond to certain situations. Okay, so if you're going somewhere, as an example, that you know you want to go see your family, but then there's these certain individuals that maybe there's a lot of tension between them every year, especially when they're under the influence of alcohol, okay, or it could be that you're wanting to go see family, but then there's this certain family member that's there that you're not too fond of, that you're not. You know that you don't really get along with, and they're going to be there. And typically, you know, when they start to get tipsy, they start to ask a lot of questions, they start to get very nosy, they start to get really or very just rude.
Speaker 2:Okay, the thing about this as well is that you do not have to stand for this, right, I'm just being completely honest here. But just because they're family and just because it's the holidays does not give them an excuse to step all over you and it does not give them an excuse to treat you poorly. And something I've heard as well before is I'm sorry, I was a little drunk, I was a little, you know, that's not an excuse. Alcohol does not give you an excuse to treat people poorly.
Speaker 2:Okay, so if you go to that holiday event, as an example, because you want to see family and then that specific family members there, well, first and foremost, you can prepare yourself mentally even before going and being like okay, obviously something may happen here. Right, I can't control what this person says, I can't control what they do, but I can control how I respond to that specific situation. So if they start to get very critical, you can set a boundary and be like hey, like I really don't appreciate you talking to me like that. Right, respectfully of course. Or you can actually get up and just excuse yourself and walk away from this situation. Right and just go talk to someone else. There's nothing wrong with doing that. Okay, it could also be as an example that you just try to redirect the conversation because you know this conversation isn't going anywhere.
Speaker 2:Okay, these are different ways that you can try to manage family dynamics. But also I'm just going to be very honest here If there's a place that you don't want to go this holiday season because you know there's going to be a lot of tension, you know there's going to be a lot of negativity, fighting all these different things, you do not need to go. Okay, just because they're holidays and just because they're, you know, time with family does not need, does not mean that you need to step into a space of negativity and complete tension and all these different things. Right, you don't need to go If you sit with yourself and your heart tells you and your soul tells you, like, I really don't want to go there this year. Maybe I'll do something for myself, maybe I'll go spend time with friends, maybe I'll go walk my dog and say it doesn't matter. Okay, it is completely okay for you to do. That, which brings me into tip number five. I don't want to share is to make time for yourself, because what I mean by that is a lot of times.
Speaker 2:Obviously, during the holidays we do a lot of different things for everyone, but I think the holidays are also time to celebrate ourselves, right? Obviously, you know, go spend time with family If you want, go spend time with family. If you want, go spend time with your friends. But I think it's also about, you know, spending time with ourselves, obviously, but it's about choosing what we want to do as well. We give so much of our time to everyone that it's okay to want to do something as well. So kind of like what I was talking about here.
Speaker 2:Maybe it's declining an invitation. Okay, maybe you know your family invites you to something and you're like you know what? I really, you know, I genuinely appreciate the offer. Right, you can let them down gently. I really appreciate the offer, but this year I'm not going to go there. I'd rather do something with my friends, or I'd rather go to this concert, I'd rather go to this event, I'd rather spend more time with my parents or my brother or my sister or my friends. It doesn't matter what. It is right, but setting those boundaries are extremely, extremely fundamental right.
Speaker 2:And I think, again, it's about, yes, celebrating your family, celebrating the time you spent together, but it's also about celebrating yourself, in my personal opinion. Right, so do things that obviously you know you want to do as well during the holidays. Okay, if you spend time with family and then you're like, hmm, I want to do a puzzle, then take some time. Do a puzzle, right. Watch your favorite Christmas movies, whatever, and if your family wants to join in, they can, if you want them to as well. But just what I'm trying to say here is that you can bring the holidays back to yourself as well. Obviously, you spend time with family, but you can also spend time with yourself.
Speaker 2:And if you are someone that is spending the holidays completely alone this year and you're listening to this, first and foremost, I just want to say I'm generally sorry that you were having to spend the holidays alone. Okay, and I also wanted to say that if you are sad, if you're angry, it's completely okay. It is completely okay to allow yourself to feel that spectrum of emotion. If you're sad, if you're angry, don't push that away. It's completely okay, it's normal, right. Allow yourself to feel that and to go through that, okay.
Speaker 2:And if there's anything I could give you as a piece of advice is to also, you know, make time for yourself. This tip applies to you as well, right, and maybe it's about creating a holiday tradition for yourself. Okay, maybe you want to go volunteer somewhere and help people in a specific way. Maybe you know you're spending the holidays alone this year and you know that that's coming, so maybe you plan something for yourself that you really want to do. Okay, what it may be it's baking, christmas movies, all these different things Okay, but you know as as difficult as it can be. You know, if you can try to just do something, create a tradition for yourself, I think they can also be a very beautiful thing. Again, it does not, you know. It does not take away what you're feeling. It does not take away, you know, the anger, the sadness and all these different things, but it's also just to try to, you know, allow yourself to feel the spectrum of emotions and then, obviously, try to do something that can help you get through that time in a good way.
Speaker 2:Tip number six that I want to share with everyone is to make space for your grief. Okay, if you are grieving this holiday season, please give yourself permission and allow yourself to grieve. Okay, maybe you've lost someone in your family. Okay, maybe you've lost a mother, a father, a sibling, a grandfather whatever it is Okay. Maybe it was a recent passing and it's your first year without them, or maybe every year is a reminder of that passing, as an example. It's completely okay to be sad. It's completely okay to be frustrated. It's completely okay to be angry. Allow yourself to go through that grieving, right. Allow yourself to feel the spectrum of emotions that you are feeling at that point in time.
Speaker 2:If you're someone that just recently broke up with someone, maybe you know you had plans with your partner to spend the holidays together. Maybe you were together for five years and you break up and then, all of a sudden, it's your first holiday without them, okay. Or maybe you were married to someone for 20 years and then you're divorced and then that's a whole other thing, right? Maybe it's, you know, two different Christmases for the kids. There's so many different things, right? So many different things. And if you are someone that's going through that and you have a lot of pain, right, like you're, you're grieving during that Christmas is completely okay, it's completely valid to right. Just because it's Christmas, it's not just about celebrating and being giddy, right, obviously that's a part of it. Okay.
Speaker 2:But, as an example, if you know, hypothetical scenario, okay, maybe there's a specific family that's lost their father, okay, well, obviously, if it's the, you know whether it's been five years of that passing or whether it's been one year. Christmas is typically a time where everyone comes together, there's traditions, all these different things, right? So losing that person obviously shifts the dynamic entirely, right, shifts the family dynamic entirely, especially if it's the first year of the passing, right, or recent passing. So, obviously, maybe it's a time where you're like, hey, okay, you know the whole family's sad, as an example, right. So maybe it's time to grieve together, to cry together, to be frustrated together. That's completely okay.
Speaker 2:Sometimes grief is something that needs to be witnessed, right, and what better way to have that grief witnessed and to share that grief than with other people who are grieving the same thing as you are, the same loss as you are, right? So this is what I'm saying. And then, obviously, maybe you create a small ritual to honor your loved ones, right, obviously you do the things that you do on Christmas, but maybe you take time specifically to honor that loved one, right? And obviously maybe you do, you create a new tradition entirely for your family, as an example. There can be so many dynamics here, but really the point that I'm trying to say is to allow yourself to be sad and to grieve, if you are okay.
Speaker 2:Also, if you're someone that's recently going through a breakup, okay, and you know, maybe now you're worried because you're going to your first family event and then you're going to get a lot of questions, right, oh, hey, like you didn't bring this So-and-so, you didn't bring her, you didn't bring him and then you have to explain to people I know we broke up or all these different things. Isn't that right? And it's like, oh, my goodness, I'm so sorry. Okay, if you're someone that's struggling with that loss during the holidays again, like I'm just talking about, right, it's completely normal, it's completely valid to be sad, to be angry, and something that you can do as well. You know, if you're close with your sibling or your part, your sibling, or like, as an example, your brother, your sister or your parents, then talk to them about that, right, talk to them about how you're feeling.
Speaker 2:This is something I personally done as well, like I'm very close to my parents. You know, a few years back, I broke it up with someone close to the holidays and I was very sad, right, I was actually very sad during the holidays because, you know, it was the, we were together for a few years and that was the first holiday without them and I was, you know, I was very sad about that. So, obviously, you know, being with my parents, they could tell something was off. So I talked to them about that, right. So I just talked to them about how I was feeling and you know, they they completely said how valid it was and it was okay to feel that way and it's, it's completely okay.
Speaker 2:Just because it's Christmas doesn't mean that you can't be sad, is what I'm trying to say, right? So if you're feeling something, don't try to just put a happy mask, right, but please make space for your grief. The last thing that I want to share is, if you're working with a coach right now, or if you are working with a therapist, as an example, please try to stay in therapy for as long as you can. Now. Obviously I understand that, you know, during the holidays, right, some people will be off for a few weeks, all these different things, but you know, like I said, for a lot of people, the holidays can be extremely difficult. It can bring a lot of different stuff up, like we talked about grief, loss, all these different things, right, financial stress, whatever it may be, it can bring up a lot of stress.
Speaker 2:So if you have a safe container, a safe space to express that with someone, okay, someone that can mirror you, someone that you can talk to, that you can open up to, okay, at least a few weeks leading to the holidays, right? Maybe your therapist or your coach is on vacation for the next few weeks, okay, well, that's completely fine. So you've worked with them up until then. You'll talk to them in a few weeks and then you continue, perhaps as soon as you can when they're back. Okay, but keeping that momentum going, I think, is extremely, extremely beneficial and extremely helpful during the holidays, okay. So you know, if you are in therapy, if you're working with a coach, please stay. And also, it's never too late to join, right? It's never too late to work with a coach or, you know, a therapist. If you feel like the holidays are really stressful, it is never too late to do that as well. But again, if you are in therapy, stay in therapy, stay with your coach and if you're looking for someone to talk to. Obviously, it's never too late to work with a therapist or coach. So I hope that this helps if you are going through a stressful holiday.
Speaker 2:And again, this is really just what I want to share in today's video, because I really thought it was important to talk about and I feel like it's something that we need to be a bit more open about. Ok, so this year, please give yourself permission to create a season that feels authentic to you. If you don't feel like going somewhere, you don't need to go somewhere. Okay. If you feel like doing something, then go do that thing. If you're grieving during the holidays, then please allow yourself to grieve.
Speaker 2:Okay, whatever goes on during this holiday for you, just please give yourself permission to create a holiday that feels authentic to you. So, that being said, that's all I've got for you guys on today's episode. If you did like the episode, please feel free to leave a comment or review, share it. It really helps bring awareness to what I'm trying to do, which is really kind of, you know, spread this podcast on a broader scale to really help people just navigate everyday life challenges. So, again, with that being said, I hope you have a good week and I will catch you guys next week. Thank you.
