A Mindful Perspective
Welcome to my podcast! I'm Nick Levesque, and I'm on a mission to help you navigate life's challenges with a mindful perspective. Join me every week as I dive deep into the realms of mindset, spirituality, and personal growth. Drawing from my own experiences, I want to provide you with tools, strategies, insights, and inspiring stories that will help you go from where you are now, to where you want to be.
Follow me on Instagram: @nicklevesque_
Coaching: https://www.nickspiritualcoaching.com/
A Mindful Perspective
How to Overcome Your Fear of Failure
In this week’s episode, we’re tackling the fear of failure. I’ll break down what it is, why it happens, and how it can hold us back from pursuing the life we truly want. We’ll dive into recognizing the signs of fear of failure, understanding its deeper causes—like fear and shame—and explore practical strategies to overcome it. If fear has ever stopped you from taking action, this episode is for you.
Hello everyone and welcome to A Mindful Perspective. I'm your host, nick Levesque, certified Spiritual Life Coach, and I'm here to share insights into my journey of mindfulness and self-discovery. Each week, we'll explore mindset, spirituality and personal growth to help you navigate life's challenges, with practical strategies and inspiring stories. Let's dive in. Have you ever felt so paralyzed by the fear of failure that maybe you're not taking any action at all and maybe you're missing out on really key opportunities in your life? If so, you are not alone. It's something I've struggled with personally, and in today's video, I really want us to talk about fear. Okay, I want us to talk about the fear of failure, and I want us to talk about how I think that fear is something that we need to learn to lean into. Okay, fear is not something we should fear, but it's actually something we should try to understand and lean into because, like any other emotion okay, whether it's shame, whether it's guilt, anger, all these different things I think that our emotions are messengers. They're trying to tell us something, they're trying to guide us in a specific way, and if we can learn to understand that fear and where that fear is coming from and what it's trying to tell us, right, then we can integrate that fear. We can integrate that fear and move through it, okay, and at the end of that, I think it's going to just give us a better life and it's going to allow us to lead the life that our soul knows it's meant to lead. Right, and fear is not going to dictate our actions and it's not going to stop us from pursuing whatever goal it is. Okay. Maybe it's, as an example, being on YouTube. Okay, maybe it's publishing that piece of art, maybe it's asking that person out that you've been dying to ask out, but you can't get yourself to do it because of that fear of rejection, of judgment, all these different things. Right, and fear is a universal thing and I think it's experienced differently by everyone. Okay, I'm going to talk about this a bit later. But there's a deeper layer as well, right, sometimes fear masks a deeper layer of shame as well, which we'll touch about in a bit here.
Speaker 1:But also, I think that what can happen with fear and, you know, anxiety, because they're kind of, you know, similar is when something happens. Okay, when we're trying to do something, whether it's a project, whether it's asking someone out, whether it's all these different things, okay, maybe we're planning on opening a business or doing a business move, or, again, we're not sure if we should publish that post or that YouTube video or that piece of art or that new song as an example. Okay, one thing we don't have is control over the outcome. Okay, and because we don't have control over the outcome, we worry, okay, and then our mind kind of goes crazy and it projects into the future and is creating all these what if? Scenarios like well, what if I fail? What if this doesn't go? Well, what if, you know, people laugh at me? What if? All all these different things, right, and our mind creates these imagined threats and our, but our body's experiencing that threat as though it was actually real. Right, but there's no actual threat around you. Okay, there's not actually a bear that's attacking you. That fear is imagined, but you're feeling that physiologically in your body.
Speaker 1:Okay, and this is what I'm trying to say, fear can really stop us literally in our tracks from taking action. But it's about understanding that sometimes, okay, the cause of that as well, there's many different things, but one of the causes of that is the lack of control, right, the lack of control, because we don't have control over the outcome and we don't know how that's going to end. But, again, if we can learn to lean into that fear and understand where it's coming from, then we can stop that fear from taking control over our lives. Okay, and before we go any further here, I'm going to put three questions on the screen and you can journal these if you want, before continuing through the episode, but I really want you to take a moment to think about this, okay. So question number one is what opportunities have I missed because I let fear dictate my actions? Question number two is how often do I avoid stepping out of my comfort zone due to fear? Question number three is in what ways does fear influence my decisions and my path?
Speaker 1:And the thing about the fear of failure is that there's, you know, typically common signs that we can notice, okay, when it's something that's really holding us back. It's something I've seen in myself personally, clients I've worked with and just people that I've talked to. Okay, now, there's a lot of different signs and such, but I want to talk about a few common signs, okay, so sign number one being procrastination. Ok, oftentimes we will procrastinate because, again, by procrastinating, we are also pushing away that possibility of failure. Right, we don't want to deal with that failure. So why not push it away just a little further, right? A little more down the road is an example, right?
Speaker 1:So you're not putting out your piece of art, your piece of content or whatever because you're afraid of the ridicule, the judgment. People won't like you or people won't like it as an example, right, all these different things. And then you stop doing it. So, instead of what do you do, you do something else, right? Maybe you think you're keeping yourself busy with other stuff, even though you know you're supposed to be doing that thing. Or maybe you are self-sabotaging in a way, right, and you're just binging Netflix and binging video games, like I personally used to do, right, so that's what I mean.
Speaker 1:Like, procrastination for me was a big thing, right, and when I really sat down with myself and I peeled back that layer of procrastination, what I noticed was that there was a lot of fear behind that right, and sometimes shame as well, which I'll talk about in a bit. But this is what I'm trying to say right, a lot of times we are pushing stuff away because we are also trying to push away that potential failure. Okay, another common sign is perfectionism right, when we're constantly trying to perfect every detail to avoid criticism or judgment, okay. So oftentimes in my personal opinion like this is something else I've struggled with there's a difference between wanting something done right and then wanting something done perfectly Right, and I personally don't believe that we can ever have something done perfectly because we are going to end up driving ourselves crazy. So, as an example, maybe you're writing a book, okay, you're writing a book and you're reviewing it, like over and over right, and it's not perfect enough for you. And it's not perfect enough for you.
Speaker 1:If you peel back that layer of perfectionism, you might notice that it's fear, right, fear of failure that you're. You're afraid that the book will fail, you're afraid that the book will not be received well by others, you're afraid that people just won't like the book. As an example, right, but then what can tend to happen as well and this is where I'm talking about shame here okay, is that that can kind of be a reflection of your own worth, right? So what I mean by that is, as an example, let's say that you publish this book, okay, and you're afraid of failure, and then it doesn't do as well as you thought. Maybe it's your first book, right, maybe it's the first book that you write, and the first, anything you do isn't really going to be you know exactly what you want it to be, right. But let's say, as an example, you write out this first book, you, you find this, you, you, and you don't want to publish it because you're afraid. Right, you're afraid that it's going to fail.
Speaker 1:But oftentimes what can happen is not only are you afraid of it failing, but you're afraid of it failing because if it fails, then you fail, right. So if the book fails, then that's a reflection of me, which means I'm a failure, right, and that could not be further from the truth, right. But that is where I'm trying to tie that emotion of shame, right. So sometimes, this is what I'm saying behind fear or under fear, there's like a deeper layer there, right, that can mask it. Right, and fear can really mask that deeper layer of shame is what I'm trying to say. So if there's these signs that you're kind of struggling with, right, maybe take a step back and really ask yourself, like, what could be the cause of this? Right? And typically, if you really dive into your procrastination, your perfectionism, you'll notice that there is a lot of fear that there could be a lot of shame tied to that as well, right? So that's what I'm trying to say, and I hope that the message delivers well here, but it's something I've noticed in myself personally.
Speaker 1:Okay, other things that we do sometimes is just simply avoidance, right, so we actually just don't end up doing anything, right, we're so afraid of getting out of our comfort zones. We don't end up doing anything at all, and then we end up missing out on really potentially life-changing things. Okay, so, as an example, that piece of art that you're not publishing, okay, that could be something that you post and you, you know, you put in an art museum somewhere or whatever. I'm not a I'm not an artist, I don't really know how it works, but maybe you're posting that somewhere and you're not posting it, right, but then you, like, you're missing out on the opportunity that maybe that that one piece of painting, that one painting that you're doing, could literally change your entire life. Right, it could literally change your entire life. It could get you into a door that you never thought you'd walk through before, right? So this is what I'm trying to say Sometimes, this fear can really stop us from doing so many great things. Okay.
Speaker 1:Other common signs that we see, obviously, is overthinking, right, where we're kind of overanalyzing decisions or actions, right, and we're worrying about all the possible negative outcomes, which is what I was talking about earlier. Okay, so what happens if this doesn't work? What happens if that doesn't work? Right, but I'm a firm believer that if we can spend so much time thinking about all the negative outcomes, we can also spend equally just as much time thinking about all the positive outcomes. Right, what if it goes better than I ever imagined? Right, what if it goes better than I ever imagined? Right, what if it goes better than I ever imagined? What if I posted this thing and it does even better than I ever imagined? What if I post this and it actually helps someone? Right, what if I post this and someone you know it creates a new connection that really again opens a new door that I get to walk through. That completely changes my life, right? This is also what we need to kind of balance that with as well. Right, oftentimes our mind will again the negativity bias. Right, it ties to the negative, but we also need to really take a step back and think about the positive outcomes that could come out of this as well and just to share a personal story with you. Okay, just to kind of put this into perspective and tie this up together here.
Speaker 1:For me personally, when I started my coaching, obviously I needed to do practice coaching right. I needed practice clients just to get some hours and obviously get the feel of coaching all these different things before I could get certified. Okay, and essentially what happened there was I needed obviously I need to get practice clients right, and the best way to do that obviously is social media. So I was preparing a post to put it on social media and that post took me about two to three months to actually post. Okay, again, because I was procrastinating, because I was pushing away that failure, right, that potential failure. So every time that I would sit down to work on the post or write it, it wasn't good enough, right, perfection is right. Wasn't good enough, all these different things. So it's like, okay, I'll work on this later. I'd go self-sabotage and play video games and watch Netflix instead, I just I wouldn't do it, right, I just wouldn't do it. And then after a certain time, you know, I was like, okay, I need to sit down with myself. I actually need to sit down with myself and I was catching myself. I was like, no, no, Okay, this needs to stop. So I sat down with myself.
Speaker 1:I was and you know, procrastination okay, what it was for me was exactly that was fear and shame, right. What if I can't help those people? Right, that's a reflection of my worth as an example for me personally, right, so that was like I am not good enough, right, which obviously is tied into shame. For me, it was okay. Well, what if people laugh at me? Right, like what if I post this and people laugh at me? Right, like what if I post this and people laugh at me? What if people judge me? What if people don't want to work with me? Again, the mind creating all these what if? Scenarios? Right, because I had no control over the outcome.
Speaker 1:Okay, and this is what I'm trying to say. This is exactly what I'm trying to say is that this fear can really dictate our lives, but it's not until we lean into it, sit with it and really hear the story that it has to tell us that we can then, okay, get the message, let it guide us and integrate it, right, so for me, that's exactly what I did and I was like, okay, right, like, what is it that I'm truly afraid of? What are you trying to tell me? Like? I am listening right now, okay, and a really powerful question that I like to ask myself. There's two questions, and you can do this as well If you want. This is what I personally did. That really helped me.
Speaker 1:You take a sheet of paper and you can divide it by, like, into okay. Question number one you can ask is what would happen if I did do the thing? Okay, and what would happen if I didn't? Okay, very simple questions, right, and for me, what that kind of did was okay. What would happen if I didn't I started with a dent? Okay, okay, what would happen if I didn't I started with a dint?
Speaker 1:Okay, so what would happen if I didn't post this on Facebook? Well, if I don't post it on Facebook, uh well, I'm not. I'm not going to finish my coaching. That's first and foremost. I'm not going to finish my coaching. I'm not going to be able to start doing what I actually want to start doing. And well, on, on one plus side, I guess it will keep me safe. Right, that's what kind of you know I was, and be honest with yourself when you're doing this, right? Like, honestly, just lay it all out, be honest with yourself, okay. So okay, what happens if I don't do it? Well, I stay exactly where I am right, because nothing changes. If nothing changes, I'm not doing anything different, but I'm also not stepping into what I truly believe is what I'm meant to be doing. So, okay.
Speaker 1:So I put that on the piece of paper. Now. Second question right, what would happen if I did do it? Now, again, you need to be honest with yourself. What would happen if you did do it? Well, again, maybe you will fail, right, fail, quote, unquote, fail. We'll talk about that later. But maybe it won't go exactly as you imagined, right? Maybe you're not going to get the likes that you're thinking you're going to get. Maybe, you know not as many people will reach out to you as you thought, and maybe it won't go as well, right, who knows? Maybe some people will laugh at you, maybe some people will judge you, maybe some all these different things.
Speaker 1:I wrote that all down, right, but then I also flipped that. Okay, well, what would happen if I did right? This is what I'm talking about. Put the positive outcomes as well. What if it goes better than it ever imagined, right? What if it goes so well and it opens up an entirely new door for you, right? So then, okay, this is what I did.
Speaker 1:I started writing stuff down and I was like all right. And then I realized, like, okay, you know, this could actually go better than I'm thinking, right. And what I'm trying to say with this as well is when you take a look back, what you're really afraid of isn't really that significant when you weigh the pros and the cons, right, because, yes, some people could criticize you and such, of course, but in anything you do in life, it doesn't matter what. People will always judge you, people will always talk about you, people will always criticize you, people will always have something to say. It doesn't matter, right, and that's what I told myself. It's like who cares Right? And, personally, like that's what I told myself, who cares Right? Like, honestly, am I really letting the, the opinions of others, stop me from pursuing what I really want to be pursuing? Right? And I was like you know what, after I had that conversation, I was like you know what? I think I've had an honest conversation with myself here. It's time to post it.
Speaker 1:I did the post and it did so well that it, you know it did extremely well, right. And I was so happy because I had so much support that I didn't even know I had and people were actually thrilled for me that I was launching into this right now. I had a lot of people wanting to work with me and really just wanting to, you know, start practice coaching with me, right. I had a lot of offers and I was like, wow, this is amazing, right. So this is what I'm saying Oftentimes, what we're afraid of really isn't all that bad and sometimes, if we let fear take over, we are literally stopping ourselves from pursuing the life that, again, our soul knows it's meant to lead.
Speaker 1:So I hope that this little story, right, can just kind of motivate you or put it into perspective that sometimes, again, it's not about fearing fear, it's about learning to understand the message that it's trying to tell you and lean into that fear. But now let's go a little deeper, let's go a layer deeper and let's talk about, maybe more, some kind of like psychological roots as to why we can have these signs, this perfectionism, this procrastination, all these different things. So there's a lot of different reasons for this. Okay, there's many different reasons. I can't list everything here, but I just wanted to shed a few in perspective. Right, it could be trauma, it could be childhood dynamics, all these different things. Right, so many different things.
Speaker 1:But as an example, it could be that maybe as a child you tried to do a presentation, right, you went up in front of class, you tried to do a presentation and you got ridiculed, okay, by your classmates. You got rejected. You got ridiculed, people made fun of you, maybe because of your speech, all these different things, and because of that you're afraid of putting yourself out there, right, like there's, you know, this is something you see time and time again and it's something that you know can really mark someone. Right, it can actually really mark someone and stop someone because they're like, oh, my goodness, like I failed there, right, like I can't do that again, and but that one event, right, can kind of propagate into many different aspects of your life. Which is why I'm saying, sometimes, when we fear failure so much and we've got like these fear of judgment and all these different things, it can really go back deeper than we think, right, Even sometimes, if it's only what you know is kind of like a, we think it's a small event, right, it's not necessarily a small event.
Speaker 1:Sometimes what we do is something called de minimization, right, we de minimize that event. We think it's like, oh my goodness, no, it's not too bad, right, it's not too bad, but it could be very bad for you, right? That that that experience was very subjective to you. So, as an example, if you weren't in front of a class and you had 20 people laughing at you okay, laughing at maybe you had a speech impediment or all these different things it's things I've seen personally as well right, I can't imagine how hurtful that could be for a child, right? So this is what I'm trying to say. Obviously, that can then impact different areas of your life as well, right? So sometimes this is what I'm saying these signs can be rooted deeper, okay, and let's talk about another example. Okay, cause this could be also from your childhood environment, the family dynamic that you grew up in.
Speaker 1:So, for example, hypothetical scenario okay, someone grows up in a very critical and harsh childhood environment. They bring them a test, they do 90 on their test, they're super proud of that. They hand that off to their parents and their parents looks at them and says this isn't good enough. Right, this needs to be 95 and above. You need to do better, you need to be better. Okay, how do you think a child internalizes that? Okay, and this could be academics, it could be sports, it could be a multitude of those things. Right, because typically, if a parent would be that critical over a test, there's chances that they're also critical in other things in the household, whether that's chores, whether that's all these different things. Right?
Speaker 1:So, first and foremost, the child thinks, hey, I am not worthy. Right, I'm basically not worthy, I'm just worthy of my achievements. Right, so now, the love is conditional for that child. Basically, because now, if I don't do well, I'm not getting love, right, but if I do well, I get love, ok. So now, what that teaches a child is basically that the love is conditional. Okay, and now, no wonder perfectionism gets born with that. Right, because hey, if I fail, I'm not getting my needs met. So I absolutely cannot fail. Right, there's no option for me to fail here. Right, because I need to be able to get my needs met and get my support system, obviously for my caregivers, right? So and this is just one quick example, right, so you can imagine how that can really manifest for someone and how that can shape into many, many different things over someone's lifetime, right, especially if they've been criticized for many different things in their house.
Speaker 1:Okay, now here's the other thing as well. Where do you think the inner critic comes from? Right, and I'm going to talk about the inner critic in another episode later on. But again, how do you think the inner critic is born? Right, the, our inner critic isn't just randomly installed in us, right? We are not.
Speaker 1:A baby Isn't born with a negative voice, right, a baby's born whole, a baby's born exactly as it should be. And then, through cultural conditioning, family dynamics, all these different things, we develop that inner critic. Okay, but then what tends to happen is, again, typically the inner critic develops from. Again, our primary caregivers are typically the mother or the father. Could be siblings as well, depending on the family dynamic. It could also be, you know, uh, teachers, all these different things. Right, there's, there's a lot of different factors to consider here, but typically from the mother-father relationship, right, could be one, could be the other, could be a mix of both. Okay, all these different things.
Speaker 1:But again, now that voice that tells you you're not good enough becomes I'm not good enough, right, that voice you start to internalize, right. And obviously the point of the inner critic later on is to understand that it's not your voice, okay, it's not your story to be holding onto. Now, this is something I'm going to be diving into a later episode because I really want to do a deeper dive on that, because I think it's really important. But that's a big thing about the inner critic it's understanding that it's not your story and it's not your voice to hold onto. But this is just an example of what I'm saying, of how you know to kind of talk about how fear of failure can be fear, it can be shame, but it can be deeply rooted into other things that happen into our life, right. Our past experiences, our past traumas, our past childhood, right.
Speaker 1:So sometimes when we're going through the like, when we're working through this, and if we're someone that's got chronic perfectionism or procrastination, all these different things, there could be deeper reasons for that, right. So maybe you need to work with a coach or a therapist with that as well. It's something that I work with my clients, okay. And if it's something that you're looking to work through, okay, I do one-on-one coaching and I'd be happy to discuss that more as well, but this is really just to say, right, there are so many deeper layers that can kind of really be the root cause of this. Now the question becomes how do we work through this, okay? How do we lean into this fear, okay?
Speaker 1:So, tip number one that I want to share with everyone is a journaling question. It's what are you really afraid of? Okay? Now, I'm not just talking surface level, like okay, like I'm afraid of, you know, failure, right, like that's not really surface level, but I'm talking this is a great start, but then you need to go deeper, Kind of like we went through this episode, right, going deeper, that's a great start, but we need to go deeper. And this is where you kind of look at your past. Are there any limiting beliefs that are holding you back, your past traumas, maybe past circumstances or events that have happened that have kind of shaped your understanding of this? And this is why you're afraid of doing whatever it is that you're afraid of doing, right, posting that content, all these different things, right. And then it's about working with that. Okay, it's really about working with that.
Speaker 1:And this is where for me personally also, kind of with that step as well, is about accepting the fear, right, it's about understanding what it is trying to tell you. Okay, fear, typically I don't, in my personal opinion, I don't consider any negative, like any emotion negative, right? Like I mentioned at the beginning of the episode, our emotions guide us in a way. They're messengers for us, right? The fear is trying to tell you something, the fear is trying to teach you something, so try to just lean into it, right? So, when you're kind of journaling through this and when you're sitting with this and really trying to work through this, it'll be uncomfortable, right.
Speaker 1:But again, just allow yourself, first and foremost, to feel that fear. It's completely okay, right, and it's okay to be afraid. By the way, this is what I'm trying to say. It's that acceptance part of fear as well. It's completely okay to be afraid. It's completely okay to be normal. There's nothing wrong with that at all, right, and what you'll notice is that, as you kind of dig deeper into this, you might dig deeper into some wounding that you didn't know you had, right, and then, basically, you're bringing that from the unconscious, you're bringing that into the light of awareness, right, and then that's where you can start to work through it and you can start to integrate that into your life and then you can start moving towards working through how.
Speaker 1:Okay, like, what are the next steps here? Right, what are the next steps for me to actually go about and do what I need to do? Right, whether it's posting that post, all these different things. Right, and again, like I always say, right. If you're someone with a lot of childhood wounding or you're starting this as an example and you know it goes much deeper than you thought and you're really feeling uncomfortable, then please stop. Right, like, obviously, please work, please work with a professional work, with someone that can really help you kind of navigate and just, you know, just help you through that experience as well, and it can help you go deeper and obviously can create a safe space for you to go deeper as well. Okay, so that's really tip number one that I want to share.
Speaker 1:Tip number two that I want to share is to reframe failure. Okay, because I think a lot of us think that if we fail, that's it right, we fail, but that's the thing and I know you've heard this probably a million times before okay, if you fail, then that's a learning opportunity. Right, are you actually failing or are you learning? Right, if you're doing an oral presentation and it doesn't go as well as you want it to. You didn't fail, right? Maybe it didn't go as you planned. Okay, but what did you learn from that? Right, it's the same thing with job interviews. Okay, sometimes it takes like 10 job interviews before you get the job right, but it doesn't mean you're a failure, it doesn't mean you're not good. It doesn't mean anything about that, right? Maybe it means that you need to improve something in your interviews, all these different things. But if you can look at that as a learning opportunity, that's exactly what I'm trying to say. Right, it's to reframe failure into a learning opportunity.
Speaker 1:And there's something I heard the other day and I wanted to give credit to whoever said this, but I couldn't find the video again but basically, what they said, this really stuck with me. They said I can basically reframe failure for you, okay. And he said how would you feel if I told you that you had to fail 24 times before reaching $1 billion? Right, and that really stuck with me, right. If I you had to fail 24 times before reaching $1 billion? Right, and that really stuck with me, right, if I only had to fail 24 times before reaching a billion dollars. I would fail right away. Right, I would fail right away. I would try to find the best way that I could fail. I was like, okay, that's it. I need to fail 24 times before I reach a billion. Let's get moving. Right, I'll fail right away.
Speaker 1:Okay, and to me, I found that to be such a powerful approach and I think this is really how we should look at failure. Okay, because you might be five failures away from actually again walking through the door. That entirely changes your life, right? This is kind of what I was talking about earlier. What would happen if you did do it right? What if it turns out better than it ever imagined? Right? And what if it takes five? You know that stage where it's exactly where you imagined, right, like, and if you really think about that, like 24 failures to get to a billion dollars, just as an example, right, obviously that can take a bit of time, but it's not that many times. Right, and if you look at a lot of the very successful people in life, they'll tell you the same thing They've failed time and time and time and time again and then they got to that place right.
Speaker 1:But I just found that to be such a powerful perspective on how to reframe failure, right? So instead of looking at it at, oh my goodness, I failed once, that's it, I'm done. Right, it's like, no, maybe you need to fail 10 more times and then you'll hit your target, right? So start looking or measuring your failures about how close you are to your goal. I think, personally, that's that's my thing, right, because every time you're failing, you're learning something. Every time you're failing, you're pivoting, you're implementing something new, right? So, again, to me, that's not failing, that's learning, right? So tip number two is reframe failure. Tip number three is focus on what you can control and let go of the rest.
Speaker 1:Now, I know this is very much, very much easier said than done, but the thing I want to say about this is all you can do is your best right. Want to say about this is all you can do is your best right. All you can do is your best, and that's exactly what matters. Right. Do your best not to fail. Right. Prepare yourself as best as you can and that's all you can do, okay. And if it doesn't go as well as you can, like we talked about just earlier, then again you reaffirm that right. You take the wisdom from that experience and you apply it to your next thing.
Speaker 1:Okay, if you have a job interview coming up and you want to make sure that you don't fail, then you're going to prepare yourself as best as you can. Okay, so that's what I'm trying to say. Right, like to make sure you're not failing. Are you preparing well enough? Right, if you've been to three job interviews, as an example, and you're failing, and then you're saying, oh no, I'm such a failure I'm never going to get a job, well, okay, no, no, take a step back.
Speaker 1:Are you actually preparing yourself the best that you can? Right? Are you actually taking all the other steps? Are you actually, you know, sitting down and really thinking about okay, what did I do wrong last time? How can I change what I did? Right? Like, how can I change what I did wrong? And to implement that into my next interview as an example? Right, so this is what I mean when you learn to focus on what you can control, right, what you can't control really starts to be less of a worry because you've done everything that you can. Okay, so, instead of focusing on the outcome, which you have no control over, you focus on what you can control right now, okay, and I think that's a very important step. So tip number three is really that right. So it's focused on what you can control and let go of what you can't.
Speaker 1:And, last but not least, tip number four that I want to share is to do it anyway, to do it scared, okay. Now, I know, trust me, this is much easier said than done, right, especially with everything that we've talked about in this episode today. But at a certain point, right, if we're like I truly believe that at a certain point, there's only so much intellectualization that we can do about this. Right, it's definitely good that we work with a coach or a therapist if we need to. It's definitely good that we have an understanding of all where this is coming from, and to journal and all these different things.
Speaker 1:Right, these are tools, but with that as well, we also need to do the other part of integration, which is to take action. Right, we need to take action, okay, because if we don't, we're always going to be scared, in my personal opinion, right, but once you start to do it, you start to feel more confident about it. Right, and I was actually reading a study the other day it was a psychologist that was basically saying that even some of the most successful people still have that fear of failure, right. So I think a fear of failure is universal, regardless of how successful you are, regardless of how rich you are, all these different things, right. But what they do is they do it anyways, right, you step into that fear, you take action even when it feels very scary, right. And that's how you kind of learn to step into it, right, and integrate it, and I think that becomes easier over time. I think it's almost like a skill, right.
Speaker 1:And this is what happened to me personally as well, like I talked about earlier with the uh, the the example of the post that I made on Facebook, but also even when I started the podcast, right, even when I started the podcast, I was like, okay, a lot of fear here, a lot of stuff coming up for me, right. I was like what if this is not going to be good enough? What if it's not going to help to think all these different things? Right, the same thing happened. It was like you know what? I'm scared? I'm going to step into it.
Speaker 1:And this is how I think you learn and this is how you grow, right, it's to take action and step out of that comfort zone yes, it's, it's very and to work through that, and obviously you know to intellectualize somewhat, right, but to also take action. And this is the thing right. You don't need to have everything figured out, you don't need to have the stars aligned for you to start right At a certain point. In my personal opinion, it's just you need to start and you need to take action. So tip number four is do it anyway. So, that being said, that's all I've got for you guys on today's episode. If you did like the episode, please feel free to leave a comment or review, share it. It really helps bring awareness to what I'm trying to do, which is really kind of, you know, spread this podcast on a broader scale to really help people just navigate everyday life challenges. So, again, with that being said, I hope you have a good week and I will catch you guys next week. You.
