A Mindful Perspective
Welcome to my podcast! I'm Nick Levesque, and I'm on a mission to help you navigate life's challenges with a mindful perspective. Join me every week as I dive deep into the realms of mindset, spirituality, and personal growth. Drawing from my own experiences, I want to provide you with tools, strategies, insights, and inspiring stories that will help you go from where you are now, to where you want to be.
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A Mindful Perspective
Why You Need to Get Better at Doing Nothing
When was the last time you truly rested without an ounce of guilt? In this week's episode, I invite you to reframe rest not as a reward but as a crucial skill for living life fully. We explore how intentional rest can help us avoid burnout and serve others from a place of abundance. Discover the power of both engaging activities that recharge us, like reading or nature walks, and practicing pure stillness to embrace the present without distraction.
In a world that glorifies hustle culture and constant productivity, I invite you to challenge the notion that our worth is tied to accomplishments. I'll share how therapy and coaching revealed the importance of disconnecting from social media comparisons and tuning into our own needs. This episode highlights the value of embracing rest, allowing emotions to surface, and cultivating better self-awareness. With techniques for managing anxiety and fostering self-compassion, you'll explore the art of sitting with emotions and practicing intentional rest to build resilience.
Hello everyone and welcome to A Mindful Perspective. I'm your host, nick Levesque, certified Spiritual Life Coach, and I'm here to share insights into my journey of mindfulness and self-discovery. Each week, we'll explore mindset, spirituality and personal growth to help you navigate life's challenges with practical strategies and inspiring stories. Let's dive in.
Speaker 2:Hey everyone and welcome to another episode of A Mindful Perspective. I want to start this episode by asking you a question when was the last time you truly rested and gave yourself permission to take a break and rest without feeling guilty? I think that for many of us, when we are just doing nothing or resting, guilt can come up, and sometimes it can be a mix of other emotions as well. And today I really want to talk about two types of rest and I think why it's so important that we learn how to properly rest, and I think resting is's so important that we learn how to properly rest, and I think resting is a skill, okay, it's something that I think in today's society is almost kind of forgotten, because I think that we live in a society that kind of glorifies productivity in constant motion, okay, and sometimes it's almost like we're told that being busy means being valuable, and sometimes, when we're actually very busy, we're not necessarily always productive, especially when you know we actually very busy. We're not necessarily always productive, especially when you know we're very tired and we're not actually using that balance right and taking that time to rest and just be with ourselves. And I think that sometimes also rest can feel like we're lazy or we're wasting time. Okay, but the truth is, I think that rest, when we take time to slow down, that's how we can truly appreciate life. Right, I think that slowing down doesn't mean that we're missing out on life, but slowing down actually means that we are allowing ourselves to fully experience life. Okay, there's a beautiful quote that I wanted to share I couldn't find the author, but I wanted to share it anyway and it says rest is a radical act of self-love in a world that glorifies exhaustion. Okay, I think that is so beautifully put and I think it's it's very true, and I think it captivates the essence and the message that I'm really trying to share with everyone today, and it's that to not forget to rest. Right, I know we're we're trying to achieve goals, we're trying to do all these different things, but at the same time, it's such a crucial component.
Speaker 2:Okay, because, obviously, yes, we want to contribute to society and help people along their path and, you know, serve in a way, right, I think that you know, being of service to others is great, but it's also important that we're not just serving from an empty cup. It's hard to help anyone or serve anyone when we're pouring from an empty cup is what I'm trying to say. So that's why it's so important to you know, take that time to learn how to rest properly, so, again, that we're not, you know, burning out or also pouring from that empty cup, or we're only going to take a break when our body's like screaming at us, right? And I think this is why it's so important to learn to tune in and to listen to ourselves. And this is why, for me personally, I think there are two types of rest that I want to talk about.
Speaker 2:Okay, there is one. There is intentional rest. There's rest when, as an example, we're doing something that recharges us, right, and that will look very different for a lot of people. Okay. So that rest for you could be reading a good book. It could be, as an example, following up on the TV series that maybe you know you've been missing out on and you're like, okay, I want to catch up on my favorite show, right, it could be just watching a show. Could be spending the day with your partner. It could be going out in nature, right, and just having a good walk in nature. Time in nature, helping you recharge and refocus, could be art, could be painting, could be whatever right, doing things that really rejuvenate your soul, okay, I think that, to me, is a crucial component of rest, and the other one, though, I think is just being in pure stillness with absolutely no distractions right, with no distractions whatsoever, and I think that can be very challenging for a lot of us, because we're not used to boredom.
Speaker 2:Okay, and this is why I want to talk about these two types of rest today, because I feel like a lot of us in our day and age, we have trouble being bored. We're constantly distracted by things. We have trouble being bored. We're constantly distracted by things, and when it comes time to just not do anything at all, okay, or when we are given the chance to not do anything, or even if we just want to take some time to ourselves to not do anything at all, sometimes it can be actually very difficult. So, even sometimes, when we're just laying on the couch or chilling right, like I was talking about, there can be guilt, but there can also be other emotions as well that creep up and come up with us, okay, and the reason I say this is because this is what happened to me personally and other people that I've talked to.
Speaker 2:What I've noticed is kind of a pattern of people not being able to sit with themselves Okay, with like zero distractions. Because what can happen when we are forced not necessarily forced, but when we take time to do nothing, a lot of stuff can come up, and it's not only necessarily guilt, but it could be other emotions as well that maybe we haven't dealt with, maybe there's something that we haven't actually processed. But when we have no distractions and when we're forced to sit with boredom for a little bit, or we choose to sit in boredom for a little bit there's a lot of stuff that can come up and at that point in time we are forced to face ourselves, which could be very difficult, right, it's very difficult when we're always used to being distracted by something. We can reach for the phone, we can reach for the remote, we can reach for the weed, the bottle of wine, all these different things, and not actually have to deal with anything else. So this is what I mean by intentional rest.
Speaker 2:What I'm inviting you to reflect on is when you're resting. Could you be bypassing as an example? Okay, this is something that I noticed in myself a while back. I was taking time to recharge, but I was constantly scrolling my phone right and then, oh, I would jump to video games, I would do something else. I would always be doing something, even when I was resting and when I took time to just not do anything at all okay, not do anything at all. That's when I noticed a lot of stuff come up and I couldn't sit with myself.
Speaker 2:And I think a big part of this, a big lesson for me, was that learning how to sit with yourself and tune into your body, okay, and just understand what's coming up, is not only a way we process stuff that's being built up, but it's a way that you develop that friendship and that relationship with yourself Because, like I said earlier, when you are forced to be alone, or when you choose to be alone, as an example, and you're not doing anything, you're forced to face yourself, you're forced to face what's coming up. But that is a very powerful tool that we can use and we can learn to use right, because, like I was talking about earlier, this is a skill, okay, and I think for a lot of us, this is extremely hard to do for a lot of different reasons, but, like, number one being fear of boredom. Okay, we are so constantly distracted by stuff, that, even when we try to take time to ourselves, or even if we are like, okay, let's try to purposely take five to ten minutes and do absolutely nothing but just sit with myself, it's difficult because we're so used to being distracted by something that peace and quiet seems very unfamiliar to us. Right, and this is a conversation I've had with a few people that seem to have a pattern, okay, and it's something that I struggle with as well.
Speaker 2:Before it's like, okay, like when they're doing nothing or they're playing video games or they're actually taking intentional time to chill, okay, sometimes there's guilt that will come up oh, I should be doing something, I should be doing something else, right, I should be studying, I should be doing this. And sometimes, for me personally, it was that comparison on social media. Okay, I would see people posting their achievements and all these different things, and I was like, oh, you know, I'm feeling behind. I'm feeling like I need to be doing something. I should be doing something. These shameful shoulds. Okay.
Speaker 2:So for me, resting was actually very hard. It was actually very hard to just sit down and do nothing and just take time for myself, because I always felt like I should be doing something else. Now, this, for me, was a much deeper wound. Okay, and it's something you know, I discovered through therapy and through coaching, but it was a much deeper wound. So for me, basically, what that reflected on was like I am not enough and the way for me to get my validation and my sense of worth was through my achievements, right.
Speaker 2:But I'm here to tell you today that you, you know, you're not just worthy because of what you achieve, right, you are worthy as you are and I know for some of us it's hard to kind of understand that and it's hard to take that into perspective. I know, for me it was for many years right and, like I said earlier, obviously it's good that you want to achieve your goals and it's good that you want to contribute to society, right and just on the collective level. But don't lose yourself doing so right. Don't lose yourself doing something that is so, so, so important. And it's okay to rest, right.
Speaker 2:Rest isn't a reward that you earn because you're doing something right. Rest isn't a reward that you earn because you're doing something right. Rest is a reward. It's not a reward is what I'm trying to say. Rest is you don't have to earn rest because you did something. Rest is whenever your body feels the need to do it right, and this is why I'm saying it's so important to have these two types of rest, where one is you rest with intention and the second one is you rest without any distractions, right? No distractions, no phones, no music, no books, nothing, and just allow yourself to see what is coming up for you. And I think that's a very powerful way, and I think it's when you're incorporating both of these types of rests that I like to call them. I think it's a really good way, like I said earlier, to get to know yourself and to get to understand what's going on in your body and learning how to process these difficult emotions.
Speaker 2:Okay, and this is something that my therapist had, you know, had me do a few years ago, where she was talking about this, she was like Nick, you're in a constant state of doing right. There's these two modes like being and doing, where being is just that you're kind of being with yourself, and then doing is the constant pursuit of something You're always doing, doing, doing right, the hustle culture of kind of like society today, if you will. Okay, and I got trapped in that for a long time, and sometimes I still do. But then I remind myself that it is okay, right, and I've worked through that, you know personally. But you know, sometimes you still get caught into that trap.
Speaker 2:But what she told me to do is like I had an assignment for that week and I had to do absolutely nothing, right? Or just I had to do whatever I wanted to do personally, to just rest and recharge. And, as simple as that sounds, it made me feel so much better. So if I was about to read, as an example, I didn't. I didn't feel like reading. I was like, okay, do I really want to do this right now? And then I didn't want to do that right now and that was completely okay, right, it was about just disconnecting and tuning into what I needed at that time and what my body needed. Okay, so my body needed rest and my body needed a bit of both of these types of risks One where you know I was actively doing stuff that I wanted to do to rejuvenate myself, but then I'd also be taking time to just sit with myself, right, maybe it was outside, maybe it was in a shower, and sometimes stuff would come up that I had to deal with and was a perfect time to do so, and other times it would just, it would make me so calm, right, it would make me so calm, it would allow the parasympathetic nervous system to kick in and simply calm myself down.
Speaker 2:Okay, and again, this is how I got to know myself better and tune into my emotions and really to what I'm feeling and where it's showing up in my body and learning how to process that. Okay, and again, like I was saying, because we're so distracted by things all the time that can seem very foreign to us, right, and this is what I talked to a few people about. It's like okay, do you often spend time alone when you're not doing anything? Right, like doing nothing at all, just sitting with yourself. Maybe it's outside, maybe it's in the shower, maybe just on your couch, and you're just taking time to sit and just, you know, sit with what is. And when you're sitting down with yourself, this isn't a time to problem solve or whatever. It's just, it's a time to try to relax as much as you can.
Speaker 2:And whatever comes up comes up for a reason, right, thumbs up comes up for a reason, right, this is what I'm saying, and a lot of people. That's the same thing that they told me, right? He's like no, no, I don't know what to do with myself, I can't sit with myself. It's similar to like meditation, where you know and this I'm not talking about meditation here, but it's a similar answer to people that struggle with meditation saying, oh, I can't sit there society where people can't just be bored for a few minutes, and we need boredom at certain points in our life. Right, like, and personally I think we need to learn how to be bored a bit so that we can learn how to process whatever's going going on in ourselves.
Speaker 2:Right, and just to highlight the point that I'm trying to make, I want to share a study with you that I found that was phenomenal. I found this a few years ago, so I'm just going to summarize this study, but basically, what the study was showing was that there were a few groups of people, men and women and essentially they had two options that they could choose from, One being they would go into a room for 15 minutes with nothing at all, no distractions, no, nothing, okay, simply them, their body and their thoughts. And the second group could actually choose to get a small electric shock, right, and then they would not have to sit with themselves or sit in the room for 15 minutes and the results were actually that 25% of women chose to get the electric shock, 75% of women chose to get the electric shock and 67% of men chose to get the electric shock. So to me that just kind of you know it drives home the message that I'm trying to say that rest, on whatever level you want to talk about, right, is just difficult for a lot of people because sometimes when we're resting and we're chilling, we're feeling guilty about stuff, okay, but also when we take time to ourselves to do absolutely nothing, we can't do that because we're constantly used to distraction and the dopamine hits and we can't just sit by ourselves with no distractions at all for five to 10 minutes. Okay, and this is a big problem I personally believe right, and obviously now we need to address something else as well that I want to highlight.
Speaker 2:But of course there's trauma. Okay, obviously, if you're someone who's experienced a lot of childhood trauma, who's very hypervigilant, who's been in a constant state of fight or flight for many years, then simply, you know, taking time off and doing nothing might feel very foreign to you, because peace and quiet is very unfamiliar. Okay, when it's that unfamiliar and you sit down and you know you decide to do nothing at all, your body might unconsciously still be scanning for threats around you. But for a lot of us, it's not necessarily trauma, but just the fact that we can't sit by ourselves for a few minutes because we feel like we're not used to sitting with ourselves, and then whatever comes up comes up and we're not used to dealing with that and we just can't sit in that boredom for a few minutes. Right, that's what I invite you to reflect on.
Speaker 2:But for so many of us, it's not necessarily trauma related. It's simply the fact that we have been distracted for so many years by anything within reach right, our phones, netflix, the next movie that we can watch, next, youtube video. Okay, that we're not used to just sitting with nothing at all, nothing at all for just a few moments a day to allow ourselves to again get to know each other a little more, and we're not used to that. So when we do take time to just sit there and do absolutely nothing, it feels weird, it feels off, we're not sure how to do it, we're not sure how to process it, and then we get bored and we get restless, and then we get anxious and we're like, oh, what am I doing? And then you start thinking about all these different things, right, and that's the problem. That's exactly the problem.
Speaker 2:That time in stillness, for me personally, is not, like I said before, it's not a time of problem solving, it's not a time of figuring out everything else. It's just a time of simply assessing. You know what's going on and what does your body need, right? So and you'll notice this as you do it and there's a great book that I want to share as well. It's called Letting Go by Dr David Hawkins, and, for those listening, I'm just holding up the book right now, but this is a very, very good book. I highly recommend this book to anyone, and what Dr David Hawkins talks about in this book is simply letting go and allowing whatever comes up to run through you. Okay, allowing the experience to run through you without wanting to change, without wanting to change it and without wanting to or no, not wanting, but unconsciously getting caught up in the narrative and trying to figure everything out. This is what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:It's not a problem solving moment, okay, and one thing that Dr David Hawkins tells us in this book that really has stuck with me forever. But he says it is the accumulated pressure of feelings that causes thoughts. Okay, so one feeling that we haven't resolved or dealt with right or we haven't allowed to fully experience, can cause thousands of different thoughts. And you know, take a moment to think about that in your own life. Okay, as an example, maybe you know you're going through a breakup and you're very heartbroken, you're very sad, but you keep distracting yourself with so many things and not actually taking time to just sit with that and grieve and allow yourself to cry when you need to cry, as an example, okay. But then you start thinking about all these different things. Right, what if? What that I could have done something different? What if it worked out? And then your mind goes absolutely crazy because there's an unsettling emotion underneath that hasn't been processed, right, it's something that is still stuck there and it keeps your mind in a loop. That's why, personally, for me, like you know, I, you know I'm all about, you know working with your thoughts and mindset and such but I think they go. You know body and mind go hand in hand, okay, and you cannot fight the mind with the mind. I think it's, it's a, it's a layer deeper right, it's in your body and that's what you need to release and to allow yourself to release.
Speaker 2:Now, there are many different ways to release stuff, right. As an example, if you've got anger, then you can kind of like cathartically release that right through somatic practices. So, as an example, someone who wants to release anger okay, they could drum, they could play drums, they could do like martial arts. Okay. There's different things as well where you know you can tug on a towel and really, like you know, pull hard on a towel and really kind of play, tug of war with a towel to really somatically release that. Anger is an example. Right, there's so many different practices, but I also believe that things like anger or sense, I also believe that it's it's it's very important for us to know how it shows up in our body, right, this is what I'm talking about when I'm saying this.
Speaker 2:This second type of rest is to sit in stillness, right. So, as an example, maybe you're sitting in stillness and then for you, maybe, as you're starting this practice, you're like, oh, wow, this feels really good, right, like this feels actually really good, I'm peaceful, I'm quiet, and then it's allowed myself to take the stress out of the day and you're good, okay, you're very good, all good. But maybe for you, as an example, like we talked about earlier, where you're sitting and then you start to notice, like, oh, like you're, you're very restless, you're very anxious because you haven't sat with yourself before like this, and then you're like, oh, I can't do this, and then the mind goes crazy, right In that moment. What I would encourage you to do is to simply breathe, right, like, take a few deep breaths, but stay with yourself for a little bit. And of course, this is meant to be, you know, it's uncomfortable but not overwhelming type of thing, right? So we want it to be uncomfortable but not necessarily overwhelming, okay, so you know, it's like I said before. Obviously, if you're someone who's got a lot of trauma and such, maybe this is something you want to do with a coach or a therapist to really make sure that you're in a safe container and in a safe space and a safe environment. But if you're someone who's just struggling with being bored, as an example, like I'm talking about, okay, well, once that starts coming up for you, what you can do is simply name the emotion that you're feeling. So, okay, I'm feeling anxious right now, I'm feeling extremely anxious right now. But you know, where else are you feeling this? Right? Like for me, anxiety is always in my gut. Okay, it's always in my gut, so I can feel it there, okay, it's like, oh, okay.
Speaker 2:And then, let's say, you're feeling anger, as an example, right? Well, you know, we talked about somatic releases earlier, which I generally believe is extremely good for channeling anger, but I also believe you need to understand how anger shows up in your body, right? So, for me personally, I know how anger shows up in my body, because I've sat with myself in anger. I know what anger feels like. So, for me personally, I can feel myself getting warmed up, I can feel myself getting heated up when I'm really frustrated, and then my palms start to get very sweaty, as an example, and I'm like I'm agitated. I can feel that.
Speaker 2:But what this allows me to do is it allows me to catch myself before I lash out at anyone, right? Because, again, I think there's two different kind of sides to this, right? One is, let's say, that you're in a meeting with your boss, okay, and your boss starts saying stuff and you're not in agreement, and then you start getting really triggered and then you just lash out at him. Right, like, work is not a time to scream at your boss, right? In my personal opinion. So that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:If you catch yourself being very frustrated, you're like, okay, or I'm starting to get frustrated, this anger is starting to really come up in me, right, I can feel myself getting sweaty, I can feel my heart racing, right, you start to get an awareness of how your body's responding and how your body's reacting. Then you can tell yourself, okay, I'm actually very frustrated right now, and you can try to breathe into it. And then, after the call, okay, then you know, you get up, you go for a walk, you take some quick air or you do something to release maybe that frustration or that anger that you have. Right, but it's also about understanding what is going on inside you as well. If you're going through a breakup, okay, and you're very sad, but you've been trying to chill and rest, but you've constantly just been on your phone or drinking the wine or, you know, even reading books constantly, just to distract yourself, right? This is what I mean.
Speaker 2:Sometimes even the good things in life can be a form of distraction. And then you start and you're just constantly distracting yourself and then you choose to sit in this five to 10 minutes of just, you know, peace, but a lot, a lot is coming up for you, right. But then, all of a sudden, you just start to cry and you let that out, right, and you let whatever needs to come out out. That is the important part that I'm talking about. Right and that's what Dr David Hawkins talks about in his book is to just surrender to what is and to just let that come up and let your body, you know, release the energy and let your body experience whatever it needs to experience, right. And I think, as we do that we start to get a better understanding of our body, how we react to certain things, how emotions show up in our body and also, again, once you learn to do that, for me personally, what happened, anyways, is I was able to sit with myself and I started to enjoy my company, right, I started to actually enjoy the person that I was sitting with, which is what allowed me to develop that friendship with myself, because you know, speaking personally here, if you're someone who's never sat with yourself and if you're someone who's, you know, who's not had the best relationship with yourself, like I did years ago.
Speaker 2:When you start sitting with yourself, it's very difficult, right, because your inner critic will come at play. There's a lot of things, right, a lot of things that come up. But if you can, you know, if you let these things come up with curiosity and just you know, you let these things move through you, okay, and you don't get caught up in the narrative and you don't get caught up in all these different things to reflecting If there's something that's really coming up a lot, take time after, right, after you're sitting with, like after you're done sitting with yourself, maybe take time to to reflect on that or just reflect on the session, if you want. But again, that five to 10 minutes that you're taking is for yourself, okay, and whatever comes up is perfectly okay, right? I think as human beings, sometimes we downplay certain emotions, like anger and shame and all these different things, but in my personal opinion, there is no such thing as a good or bad emotion. I think they all serve a purpose and they're all guiding us in their own way. So we need to learn to tune into how that feels for us and how they're expressing ourselves through us, and I just wanted to share a few more tips around this as well. Okay, so that have really helped me on a personal level.
Speaker 2:But when we're trying to rest, like I said earlier, it's a skill, right, for a lot of us. It's a skill that we need to learn because in a society that's keeping us so busy, we forget how to pause, okay. So tip number one is give yourself permission to rest, right, like I said earlier, rest is not a reward that you earn because you've done certain endeavors. Rest is your. You know, it's something that you're, it's your birthright. You can rest anytime you want, right, and it's.
Speaker 2:I just want to make the important distinction that you know rest is not you know you're not resting for three months or you're giving yourself time to recharge, okay. So please stop associating the guilt with that, right I? This is something I've heard from myself, from clients as well. It's like whether you're just taking five to 10 minutes to yourself, or whether you are doing something for yourself or you know deciding, hey, I'm not doing anything today, I'm going to chill and watch a few movies or whatever. Okay, there's guilt.
Speaker 2:A lot of guilt comes up. A lot of guilt because, again, the shameful shoulds. I should be doing this, I should be spending more time with the kids, I should be productive, I should be all these things Right, and you shouldn't be anything. That what you want to be at that point in time, right, you know. And you shouldn't do anything else that you don't want to do at that point in time, because you're choosing to rest and that's all you need to worry about. Okay, and I can guarantee you you're going to be much better, you know, towards your goals and you know contributing to society. If you're pouring from a full cup, right, if your cup is full and you're taking care of yourself, you're going to win. Right, you are going to win. So that's tip number one.
Speaker 2:Tip number two that I want to share is plan time plan time to actually intentionally rest and plan time to do absolutely nothing right. Both types of risks, like I talked about, are so, so, so important and I think you know whatever you want to do. If you want to schedule time, right, you can. So if you want to schedule time to make sure that you've got that time for you, do it, okay, schedule the time. So, if you want to schedule your time, you know twice a week where you know you take two hours off a night or something and you do whatever you want, or it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter, but make sure that you're looking out for yourself. And also, personally, I would recommend that you take time in your day, okay, and you schedule time in your day, maybe every day, maybe once every few days, to take five to 10 minutes and just sit with absolutely no distractions, right?
Speaker 2:Because to me, again, what this did is a lot of different things, but it's also so good to just unplug your mind from everything else, right, and this can be longer, by the way, but I'm just saying five to 10 minutes to start off because, again, it's hard at first. I can, I can guarantee you that it's hard at first, so it's just to start off and allow your body to adjust to it. Right, and over time, as you learn how to process these emotions and different types of things, you'll. You'll learn that, okay, like this is how I'm feeling, you know. And also what you'll notice is that, like you, you get more peaceful. In my personal opinion, right Is like once that that processes, and once you process whatever needs to be processed, you're like oh, okay, you feel good, right, or maybe you know it was. You know it was a harder session, but you know, okay, that felt really good. Right, that felt really good. And for me, over time, as I gradually practice this, it's, it's something that made me just feel more at peace, right.
Speaker 2:And now, like I, I wanted to take that time to really like, okay, this is my me time. And I had a client do this as well, where, you know, constantly busy and all these things are like, how much time are you taking for yourself today? And he's like, well, I go to the gym, I do all these things and that's beautiful, but like, how much time are you taking for yourself to just, you know, chill and do nothing and no distractions? He's like I've never done that was very difficult. It was very, very difficult for him because there was a lot of stuff coming up and he would cry and all these different things. But after a few sessions he would just sit outside and just be mindful and he's like I look forward to this time.
Speaker 2:Now. I'm just outside on my porch, on my deck, and I'm not doing anything, I'm not worrying about anything, I'm not trying to problem solve anything. I'm just being. I'm just being right. I'm just literally sitting there being. I can hear the birds chirp, I can hear whatever, and sometimes I just I get lost in kind of this moment of peace, if you will, right, and I'm just fully there for the moment and I'm not absolutely, I'm not actually doing anything at all, and then that, you know, I get inside and I'm like I'm relaxed and rejuvenated, right, and that's what I mean. Sometimes, even after a stressful day at work, you just need to sit there, right. You just need to sit there with everything else unplugged and allow kind of the parasympathetic nervous system to kick in and relax, right. But that's what I'm saying. Plan time to do absolutely nothing, right, and allow yourself to recalibrate, allow yourself and the nervous system to really go and recalibrate, okay.
Speaker 2:And the other proportion that I want to talk about with this as well is to develop safety in stillness, right, this is the most important part is to develop that safety and stillness Because, again, like I said earlier, for a lot of us boredom feels unfamiliar, boredom is very hard. The other point of sitting in stillness is to, you know, is to develop that emotional resiliency right. It's to allow uncomfortable emotions to surface right, allow your body to process this and not push them away, right, so that when you're sitting and you're bored, then you're not just reaching for the phone and distracted by something. It's that when you're sad and you don't know how to cope with it, that you can just sit with yourself and allow yourself to grieve, right, allow yourself to cry. Maybe you've suffered the loss in a family no-transcript space and it's to do this in a space that feels very comfortable to you, right? Obviously, if you're having, you know, intentional rest, whatever that rest looks like to you, that's fine, but for you, I would encourage you, if you're doing that five to 10 minutes of rest, to do so in a spot and in a space that feels safe for you, right, and a space that you know you won't be distracted and you can just sit with yourself and allow whatever comes up to come up. Okay, because obviously sometimes what we do is we're in a space where maybe there's other people, or maybe there's you know we don't want to be heard, or all these different things and that can kind of throw us off from experiencing, you know, the full range of, or the full spectrum of, emotions in the example. So try to find yourself a good spot where you can just be with yourself for a few minutes and be like, okay, you know, whatever comes up, comes up. You don't try to over intellectualize the situation. If you're getting anxious, you don't try to know why am I anxious, why is this? No, you just let your body experience what it needs and I think that's how you find the answers. And obviously, if you want to reflect on your session after, you definitely can, like we talked about earlier, right.
Speaker 2:But for me personally, those spaces, if you will, one is, you know, when I'm sitting outside on the deck, right, like when I'm sitting outside on the deck, there's no one else around me. I can just hear the birds, all these different things. I'm in a very safe space there. Another place for me is actually the shower, right? So oftentimes what I'll do is I'll just sit down in the shower, maybe like I've had a really rough day, or maybe I'm going through something, right, or maybe I just want to relax and have some peace and quiet. But whatever the outcome is, I always feel like when I allow myself to release that emotion and to go through that, I feel very peaceful afterwards. So, even if I'm in the shower and I'm going through something and I just allow myself to sit there for five to 10 minutes and then it comes up, right, it comes up and it's like, oh, okay, right, and then I just allow myself to go through that experience. I feel like I feel very peaceful after right. So for you it's really, you know, find that safe space. Find that safe space for you in a space that you feel comfortable, shedding whatever needs to shed, right, and just exposing whatever needs to be exposed in a safe environment.
Speaker 2:Tip number three is to ask yourself, gentle, reflective questions. So for me personally, in this time of stillness, it's not a problem solving time, right? So, again, like we talked about earlier, it's allowing whatever comes up to come up. So if something comes up with, you're very anxious, right? So, again, like we talked about earlier, it's allowing whatever comes up to come up. So if something comes up with you're very anxious, right, let's say, you're extremely anxious and it's uncomfortable. We can talk about what we did earlier, which is name it to tame it, right? So you name the emotion which helps you get kind of a better control over it, right? So you're like okay, part of me feels very anxious right now.
Speaker 2:Okay, part of me feels extremely anxious right now, and then you can locate it. Where is that? You know, where does that show up in your body? Okay, it shows up as an example, maybe in in your gut. Okay, some people will say, like, does it have a shape? Does it have a color? Right, what shows up? For you? Each individual will have a different experience but, again, when you learn to understand how it shows up in your body, you will understand when it. When it shows up in your body, you will understand when it, when it shows up in your everyday life into certain circumstances, when you're triggered, or or you know, maybe you're doing something and you're extremely anxious, and then that way you can learn to, okay, and then, oh, I'm very anxious right now, and then maybe you can take a few deep breaths and then you learn to kind of self-regulate where you can. You know there's many different, you know nervous system regulation techniques that you can kind of do to help you with that as well, right, but it's just about understanding where that shows up.
Speaker 2:And also, if you know, as an example, let's say that you are, you're going through this and you're going through something, right, and it's important, it's very important to have a lot of self-compassion for yourself, right, and I know that's difficult, but maybe you're, you know you're, you're sitting down and again, now you're taking time to process that breakup. Right, you're taking the time to process that breakup. It's the first time that you've actually sat with yourself with no distractions, and then a lot of stuff comes up and then you start to cry. Okay, well, you know, you can ask yourself. A very simple question is like what do I need right now? Right, what do I need right now? Maybe it's just to tell yourself that everything will be okay. Maybe it's to tell yourself, like, okay, maybe you know, maybe I need to talk to someone, maybe I need to go see someone, maybe I need to phone a friend, you know, maybe after this, I need to go, you know, and just sit in a shower, right, or, you know, take a hot bath or what. It doesn't matter what it is, it absolutely doesn't matter what it is.
Speaker 2:The point is just to tune in with yourself. And it's not about problem solving and it's not about like, oh, I need to do this, that, no, no, it's just like tune in with yourself, right, like, what do I need right now and what would feel good to me right now? What does my body need right now. So these are just little ways to you know, kind of tap into that and, again, get to know your body, get to know your cues, get to know how your body responds in certain environments and, just more importantly, learn more about yourself. Right, learn more about yourself.
Speaker 2:And, like you know, like we talked about at the beginning of the episode, it's not only about learning how to tune into yourself, but it's learning how to rest, right, rest with intention and rest with the purpose of stillness, right, rest with the purpose of, okay, I just need a few minutes to myself, take a few deep breaths and just chill for a little bit and let whatever comes up comes up.
Speaker 2:I maybe need five to 10 minutes in my day to process, you know, maybe, maybe I've noticed that even in my act, my intentional resting that I've been bypassing, right, so maybe I need to sit down with absolutely no distractions and just see what comes up, right, see what comes up and see what the body is trying to release as an example, okay.
Speaker 2:But again, I just want to emphasize that this is a practice that takes time. Okay, it's not something that you learn overnight and, like I said, it might be challenging. The first few times you do this because you're not used to it. Right, your nervous system is not used to it either. But the more you do this and the more you gradually, you know learn how to rest properly because, like we talked about you know earlier, it is a skill in today's day and age. I think that it can be very beneficial in your life, and very beneficial in not only processing emotions and allowing yourself to feel whatever needs to be felt, but also getting a better understanding of how your body is trying to talk to you.
Speaker 1:So, that being said, that's all.
Speaker 2:I've got for you guys on today's episode. If you did like the episode, please feel free to leave a comment or review, share it. It really helps bring awareness to what I'm trying to do, which is really kind of, you know, spread this podcast on a broader scale to really help people just navigate everyday life challenges. So, again, with that being said, I hope you have a good week and I will catch you guys next week. Outro Music.
