A Mindful Perspective
Welcome to my podcast! I'm Nick Levesque, and I'm on a mission to help you navigate life's challenges with a mindful perspective. Join me every week as I dive deep into the realms of mindset, spirituality, and personal growth. Drawing from my own experiences, I want to provide you with tools, strategies, insights, and inspiring stories that will help you go from where you are now, to where you want to be.
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A Mindful Perspective
Why Being Present Can Be Difficult (and What You Can Do About It)
Is the pursuit of mindfulness sometimes a way to sidestep the deeper issues lurking beneath the surface? In this week's episde we explore the complexities of being truly present in our lives, especially when grappling with past traumas or contemplating uncertain futures. This episode digs into the often oversimplified notion of presence and challenges the idea that focusing solely on the now can sometimes lead to what's known as spiritual bypassing. By sharing a personal story that led me to reassess the importance of acknowledging all aspects of time—past, present, and future—we explore how trauma can freeze us in place and hinder genuine presence.
Moreover, the conversation extends to embrace both the here and now as well as what lies ahead. By tuning into our inner and outer worlds, we discuss strategies for managing emotions and fostering personal growth, drawing parallels with a university student's anxiety about their career path. The notion of the "whisper of the soul" surfaces as a guiding light for introspection and life changes. I encourage listeners to find methods that resonate personally, reminding us all that navigating presence is about balancing experiences across time.
Hello everyone and welcome to A Mindful Perspective. I'm your host, nick Levesque, certified Spiritual Life Coach, and I'm here to share insights into my journey of mindfulness and self-discovery. Each week, we'll explore mindset, spirituality and personal growth to help you navigate life's challenges with practical strategies and inspiring stories. Let's dive in.
Speaker 2:Hey everyone, welcome to another episode of A Mindful Perspective. What if being present is harder than it seems? And what if being present is difficult when we have a lot of uncertainty about our future or a lot of past wounding, a lot of past trauma or sometimes, obviously, a mix of both? Okay, the reason I say this is that because I feel like sometimes the narrative and how we talk about being present be here, be now can be a little oversimplified and also very misleading, and also it doesn't necessarily land well for everyone. Okay, because when I think about being present, sometimes what can happen is it can be very difficult for certain individuals to be present and there's a good reason for that. Okay, if your past is still haunting your present, then you're going to have difficulties being present. And if there's a genuine concern in your future that's calling your attention that you need to plan for or work towards as an example, okay, then maybe there's a reason that you need to plan for or work towards as an example. Okay, then maybe there's a reason that you're not present. Maybe it's because you need to address something or you need to plan for something, maybe there's a lot of uncertainty that needs to be addressed. Okay, and sometimes I feel like when we talk about be here, be now, again, I know the intention is good, I know there's there's a genuine intention behind that, but sometimes I feel like for some certain individuals, that can lead to a form of bypassing or spiritual bypassing, where we're so focused on being present that nothing else matters.
Speaker 2:Okay, and I want to share a story with you about how I kind of got that perspective from a friend. So a few years back I think this was like five or six years ago I was walking with a friend and we were just talking about life, talking about books, and I was talking about the power of now. Okay, um, it's a book that still holds dear to me, a lot of wisdom in it, but I can understand now the perspective of some people not agreeing with it or also that being a little misleading for certain people. And I was talking to my friend about the concept we just explored where you know, don't be in your past too much, don't be into your future too much, try to live in the moment as much as you can. I get that perspective, you know, and again, to a certain degree, to a certain degree I do agree with that, but again, I think it's oversimplified, right, but then that's as we were talking about that.
Speaker 2:She said something that really stopped me in my tracks and what she said was doesn't that sound like avoidance to you? And I was like, what do you mean? And she said again, she just stopped and she said well, it really seems like to me that sounds like it's almost like you're avoiding something, like you're running away from something, like nothing else matters, and you just you're trying so hard to be in the present that you're not dealing with anything else. Right? She said I understand what you're saying, but it just seems like people could be avoiding something if they're constantly trying to be present, be present. And she really stopped giving me my tracks for a second, because that's actually very true, and I'm not saying people are doing this, like you know, consciously, or doing this in a way where they're really just trying to, you know, not deal with anything. I think it's actually the opposite, where we're trying to be so present because we're in pain, right, and we don't want to be in pain, and we're just trying to not deal with the situation. So we're focusing on being so present and not worrying too much about that and not, you know. Oh, the past is the past, it is what it is, type of thing, right, but that's not always the case, and I really liked her perspective right. And I think this is what I'm trying to get at is that sometimes the past is calling us for a reason and also the future is calling us for a reason. If we're not present, or if we have an inability to be present, or just we feel like we're not present in our lives, there could be a deeper reason for that.
Speaker 2:Now let's talk about past trauma for a second. Let's talk about just our past. Let's say, as an example, that you are someone or just anyone that has past trauma and they're not able to be present. They're constantly haunted by their past. Okay, well, to me, the way I understand trauma is basically that trauma is like, if you will, it's a snapshot of your life that's frozen in time, but you still experience it in the present moment and it's playing on a loop like a broken record over and over. Okay, so, no matter how much you you know you want to be present or you try to be present, you're haunted by the past. Maybe you've got a severely aggressive or very hardcore inner critic, or maybe your body is still not feeling safe. Maybe your body remembers and keeps the score from what happened before, as an example. So your ability to be present is severely impacted. Maybe you do get certain degrees of presence and such, but overall your ability to be present is actually severely impacted. Okay, maybe you do get certain degrees of presence and such, but overall your ability to be present is actually severely impacted. Okay, this is a very important thing, because this is what I'm trying to say.
Speaker 2:I think that once you start understanding your story and maybe that the story that you've been holding onto isn't your own, and then you start understanding and kind of just, you know, untangling the trauma web, if you will, right, and you're like, oh okay, this is where that's coming from, and then you start doing the healing and the work. I think a byproduct of that will be that, naturally, you will be more present. Okay, you will be more present because you are doing the work, and this is why sometimes, even tools like meditation right, meditation comes to mind when we talk about being present, be here, be now. Meditation is a great tool for that. I think meditation is a great tool to enhance your focus. It can be used as a great tool.
Speaker 2:But, again, very important to understand that meditation does not work for everyone. That's the important thing. If you are someone that grew up in a chaotic environment as a child a very chaotic environment and your body is not used to peace, your body's not used to quiet, as an example, and then you go and you sit down into meditation, okay, peace and calm are not the norm for your nervous system, right, it's very unfamiliar. So a lot of stuff can come up right. And if you're someone, as an example, who is hypervigilant, you're scanning around, you're scanning everything for threats, maybe you're going to hear something, you're out of your meditation, maybe you know your body's, you know unconsciously scanning stuff and you just you cannot sit with yourself, right, you just can't sit there, as an example. And then other stuff starts coming up right, maybe some repressed stuff or some suppressed stuff as well.
Speaker 2:And obviously I think that meditation can be a powerful tool to work through trauma and to you know, to allow your body to feel and to process the waves of emotion that need to be processed. But I think that also needs to be combined with trauma work with a coach or a therapist as an example. Okay, to have a better understanding of where that's coming from and why that's showing up in your body, and that if something is coming up, that you have an understanding of that and that you're not just flooded with a bunch of stuff that you're not able to process as an example, right? So this is what I'm saying when I say meditation isn't for everyone. So, and then sometimes that's the other thing as well, especially if we have kind of this very harsh inner critic.
Speaker 2:Okay, and then we try to meditate, we try to be more present, and then we can't, and then we start attacking ourselves. Why can I be more present? Okay, everyone seems to be more present. People talk about being present, how you know, everyone seems to be more present. People talk about being present how it's so impactful in their lives, how it brings so much peace into their lives. I can't be present, right? Well, that's probably why. Maybe because you've got a lot of unprocessed trauma or a lot of childhood wounding that needs to be addressed. But again, I think that's the core concept that I'm trying to say here. Right, when it comes to being present, once you start doing that work, I think the presence will naturally come as a byproduct.
Speaker 2:Okay, and again, this is what I also mean by being present is not a form of bypassing. So I'll give you an example. So let's say that you have went through a breakup, okay, and now you're heartbroken. Breakups suck, right. I think everyone can agree with that. It's so painful, right, and being in pain sucks, okay.
Speaker 2:And then sometimes maybe you know you're reading a book or you're doing something and it talks about being more mindful, being more present, and you're like, okay, I'm going to try to be more present in my life. And then you know pain comes up and you're like, no, no, got to be here, be now, don't worry about this, don't worry about that. Okay, that to me, right, even though you're you're not doing this out of like wanting to just throw stuff away. Maybe for you it's like, okay, you know, I just want to be present, so I don't have to deal with that. But guess what You're going to need to deal with? It is what I'm trying to say, right, and I think that if you're just using the present moment be here, be now to try to not deal with something, to me that is bypassing, right, and again, maybe you're not dealing with the underlying thing that's causing you to have so much suffering and so much pain. So let's take this example of being in a breakup. Okay, you are feeling so in pain, okay, but now you're saying, okay, I'm going to be here, be now and forget about that.
Speaker 2:Well, to me, being present is the opposite of that right. To me, being present is about tuning into what is going on with you, and to me, that's what mindfulness is. It's not only about the external world and you know, being present where you're taking a walk and such, that's cool and all, but it's about being present internally. Right, your internal world is a part of mindfulness, right? The narratives that you hold in your head, your thoughts, how your body's responding, how you're feeling the sensation into your body, right. So, to me, being present in a circumstance like that is like, okay, what is presence asking from me right now? Right, what is this presence asking from me and what does it invite me to reflect on as an example? And in that case, instead of throwing it away, maybe you need to grieve, right, maybe you need to go through that grieving process of the breakup Because, again, when you go through a breakup, if you've been with someone for a long time, that is extremely painful, right, a breakup is extremely painful and that's what I'm trying to say is that there's a grieving process to that as well, because it's a loss.
Speaker 2:Okay, loss is not just death, as an example, right, there can be many different types of losses and a breakup is one of them. So, to me, being present with what is is sitting with that grievance as an example, right, and allowing yourself to grieve whether that's crying when you need to cry, if you're frustrated and angry, maybe it's channeling that anger creatively right Through, maybe through art, through music, through the gym For me personally, going to the gym, lifting some heavy weights I love that stuff, right, for me, that's therapeutic and allows me to kind of channel that frustration. Maybe for you it's boxing, it doesn't matter what it is. But I think that you know, anger can be, you know, channeled creatively in a way that we're not projecting onto anyone and, most importantly, that we're just not lashing out on anyone or hurting anyone, right? But I hope you're understanding what I'm trying to say here about being present and, you know, not using it as a form of bypassing to not deal with the stuff that needs to be dealt with, right? So, again, if you're going through a breakup to me being present is to be able to sit with that, to be sit with what it is and just understand that. Hey, maybe what presence is asking from me right now is generally just to grieve and to go through that grieving process. Okay, so that again is what I mean by the past and our ability to be present. Okay, and I think once we work through that, presence will be a natural by-product of that.
Speaker 2:Now let's talk about the future for a second. Okay, so I think the future is obviously you know it's uncertain, right, which brings a lot of fear to us as well. And I will say I will start off by saying that sometimes a lot of the stuff that we worry about, obviously you know we've got like what if this, what if that, what if that, right, and sometimes a lot of that is unnecessary chatter, as an example, right, and you know that I completely understand. But what if? What you're worried about and what's? You know? Maybe you're projecting into the future and you're really worried about something and then you're not able to be present, but maybe that projection into the future is asking something from you. Okay, let me give you an example of just a hypothetical scenario here.
Speaker 2:Let's say that you are a university student and you're in your second year of university and, as you're working through university, you're starting to realize that you really don't like the path that you're on. Maybe you're an engineering and you're like you know what, I'm in my second year, I'm not really enjoying this, I'm not really liking this engineering degree. And then you start thinking, like you know, I wish I would have been a doctor or a lawyer, whatever, it doesn't really matter. The other profession, right. And then you're like, and then you start to wonder, but there's this kind of this gut feeling, right, that's telling you that engineering is not for you. Okay, it's not for you.
Speaker 2:And then you're projecting in the future, right, you're worried about your future. What am I going to do? You know, what am I going to get myself into? I'm already two years here. I have debt, all these different things. And now you're worried, right.
Speaker 2:And then now you're projecting into the future, and now you're again having these scenarios, right. And then, maybe, on top of that, you're like well, you know, you're you, you're having trouble deciding, because now you can't really let go of the course that you're taking, because maybe your parents had an expectation of you. Maybe there was societal expectations as well, so there's a lot of different things here. So now you're stuck, you're feeling stuck, and now you're projecting into the future and you're anxious all the time because you're like, oh my goodness Right, I don't know what to do. I need to. You know, I don't know what I want to do, I don't know where I want to go. But here's the thing right Now you're projecting into the future, but there's a good reason that you are, which is what I'm trying to say right Now your ability, or you know now the reason that you're not present.
Speaker 2:There's a good reason for that, right, because your future right now is asking something very important of you. Your future is talking to you right now, very important of you. Your future is talking to you right now, and if it's not something you address, I can guarantee you that your soul will talk to you. This is what I personally like to call the whisper of the soul, if you will, and what I mean by that is kind of like this nagging voice that will come at you and tell you over and over that you're not living in alignment with what it is that you want to do. You're not living the life that your soul knows that it's meant to lead. So now you're in the future and you're worried, and you're worried. And you're worried as an example, right.
Speaker 2:But even if you try to be present okay, I'm not saying that, breathing exercises and such to calm you down, right, those are all good I'm not, I'm not discrediting that at all but you have a genuine concern right now. So obviously that's going to impact your ability to be present and to be with what is right. And guess what, if you actually address that concern, okay, and maybe you decide you know what? I'm going to have an honest conversations with my parents. I know that this is what they were expecting of me, but I can't do this anymore, right. Or maybe you have a conversation with your teachers or the school board, or I don't know how university works, but you know you have a conversation with someone and then maybe you change career paths. Maybe instead, with your engineering degree, you start doing something, you go into another branch and you do something that's actually fulfilling to you. Guess what's going to happen? You're not going to be as stressed anymore, you're not going to be as anxious anymore, which will allow you to be present or more present, right?
Speaker 2:This is what I'm trying to say is that sometimes our, our inability to be present is our, is because we've got something that we're not actually addressing. Okay, and you know, breathing practices and all these different things are great, but they can be a bandaid as well. Right, they can be just a bandaid, obviously, if you're stressed and such breathing exercises, very good to calm you down in these different things. I, again, like I said, I'm not discrediting that at all, but again, there could be an underlying thing and if that underlying thing is not fixed or not actually dealt with, then you're just going to be slapping on band-aid after band-aid, right, which is, again, it's not going to actually resolve the underlying issue.
Speaker 2:And I find that I wanted to talk about this today because I think it's very important, because I feel like sometimes certain topics like these can be a little oversimplified and they don't work for everyone. Okay, and I'm going to go on a little bit of a tangent here and talk about affirmations for a second, because I feel like affirmations kind of, you know, go with this as well, go with you know, sometimes I feel like affirmations can be a form of bypassing, is what I'm trying to say Okay. Now, I have nothing against affirmations, right, if it works for you, great. If it's powerful for you, great. But there's one thing that I feel that isn't talked about enough, and it's the resistance that comes up with affirmations Okay, what happens when you don't actually believe what you're telling yourself? Okay, this is what happened to me personally.
Speaker 2:One of my core beliefs, if you will, was that I wasn't good enough. Okay, and then you know, reading through books, I saw that affirmations was something that a lot of people were doing. It seemed to help all these different things. Okay, and again, I'm not discrediting it. But what I'm saying is that there's another side to affirmations. Here, as I was reciting this, like I'm good enough, I am worthy, whatever right, whatever I was telling, a lot of resistance came up for me, a lot, and that's the thing. I didn't generally believe it. I didn't generally believe what I was telling myself. So that was an invitation for me to pause and reflect and be like where is this coming from? Why am I not believing what I'm saying? Right, and that's the thing with affirmations.
Speaker 2:I don't think, if you generally don't believe what you're saying, I don't think that a certain amount of repetition and telling yourself you are worthy, you are worthy, you are worthy will actually change that Okay. So, as an example, if you know you're reciting something, you know you're like I'm worthy of all the money in the world, I'm worthy of abundance, whatever your affirmation may be, but there's a resistance coming up and you don't generally believe it, then maybe in your past something happened with money. Maybe you grew up in a family. You know dynamic or environment where money issues or something around money, there's something revolving around money that is limiting you from actually fully receiving that affirmation is what I'm trying to get at, right. So I think that affirmations can be powerful when they are actually received truthfully.
Speaker 2:So if you go into your past and you dive into that limiting belief that you have about around money, as an example, okay, and then you start discovering, hey, okay, well, this isn't my story. Or hey, okay, this is why I had these money issues or whatever, right. And then, oh, okay, I understand that Right. Then, as an example, if your belief is like I'm not worthy enough, and then you dive into your, your past, and then you start realizing like, hey, this story that I've been holding onto isn't my own and it's not grounded. In fact it's not grounded in truth, right, and you know what? I am worthy? I'm actually worthy of a better life, I am enough and I am worthy of love and all these different things.
Speaker 2:When you start telling yourself that now, now that you actually have an understanding of what happened before, that it's not your story to hold onto, then it's much easier to receive that affirmation and to actually start telling yourself that right. And again, this is just a perspective that I want to share, because I know for a fact that for me there was resistance and I shared the same perspective on social media a little while back and I had a few people reach out to me and I had a friend reach out to me saying, hey, like this really resonated with me because I'm not believing what I'm telling myself and that's why I want to share that right. So again, when I'm sharing all this today, it's really to kind of paint a better picture of not everything works for everyone and sometimes the things that we do to help ourselves, if we look deeper, can be a form of bypassing as well.
Speaker 1:So, that being said, that's all I've got for you guys on today's episode.
Speaker 2:If you did like the episode, please feel free to leave a comment or review, share it. It really helps bring awareness to what I'm trying to do, which is really kind of, you know, spread this podcast on a broader scale to really help people just navigate everyday life challenges. So, again, with that being said, I hope you have a good week and I will catch you guys next week. Outro Music.
