A Mindful Perspective
Welcome to my podcast! I'm Nick Levesque, and I'm on a mission to help you navigate life's challenges with a mindful perspective. Join me every week as I dive deep into the realms of mindset, spirituality, and personal growth. Drawing from my own experiences, I want to provide you with tools, strategies, insights, and inspiring stories that will help you go from where you are now, to where you want to be.
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A Mindful Perspective
The Strength in Vulnerability: Embracing Male Emotions
In today's tomorrow’s episode I talk about the importance of vulnerability as men. I talk about the importance of allowing ourselves to express and feel the wide range of emotions we have as human beings. I personally know and have talked to many men that struggle with expressing themselves and talking about what’s on their hearts. They fear being laughed at, rejected, or seen as weak. There are many contributing factors to this, but common causes are typically beliefs from parents, caregivers, and societal norms.
We’ve heard it time and time again. “Men don’t cry.” “Man up.” “Suck it up.”
For many men, this leaves the impression that expressing ourselves is not okay. Allowing ourselves to feel or talk about our feelings makes us weak, or less of a man. This could not be further from the truth. In my opinion, I believe a man steps into his full power when he learns how to balance and harness the energies of both the masculine and feminine. We'll expose the silent crisis of suppressed emotions that lie beneath the veneer of masculinity, often manifesting in depression, anxiety, and tragically high rates of suicide among men. This episode isn't just a conversation; it's a lifeline thrown into the waters where men battle their inner storms, often alone and unheard.
As we map out the road to emotional liberation, I'll equip you with practical strategies that defy the outdated norms. From finding solace in therapeutic hobbies to the cathartic release of journaling, we chart a course towards a future where men can openly express their full emotional spectrum. No more silent struggles.
Hello everyone and welcome to A Mindful Perspective. I'm your host, nick Levesque, certified Spiritual Life Coach, and I'm here to share insights into my journey of mindfulness and self-discovery. Each week, we'll explore mindset, spirituality and personal growth to help you navigate life's challenges, with practical strategies and inspiring stories. Let's dive in. Hey everyone, and welcome to another episode of Mindful Perspective.
Speaker 1:In today's episode, I want us to talk about a topic that I think is very important and that is expressing emotions as men. Okay, because I think we all know that, you know, I think we all know intuitively that men don't really express emotions as well as women do. As an example, right, I think it comes more naturally for women and for men a lot of times, men who are trying to express emotions or, you know, or try to be vulnerable with people, sometimes they can be seen as weak, etc. So, really, depending on what society has kind of portrayed. So I really want to dive into this topic today because I think it's so important. And if you're a man listening to this and you're having issues talking about emotions or even allowing yourself to feel emotions or expressing or talking to someone, I think this can be beneficial. And also, if you're a woman listening to this and maybe you have men in your life that have trouble opening up and being vulnerable and talking about these emotions. This will be also very good for you and it's something that you can share with them as well. Okay, so we're really going to be diving deeper into talking about this topic, about men expressing their emotions of society.
Speaker 1:Okay, there's a different expectation from men and women to be able to express their emotions, right? So what I mean by that is women are seen as more sensitive, if you will. So it's almost more natural for women to be seen expressing emotion or just expressing how they're feeling, or talking about their feelings, just in general. Right, I think it's a more socially acceptable thing as opposed for men. It's a very different context, right, and I think we're all kind of aware of this, but I think it's something that's really worth talking about because I think for men, men oftentimes can be seen as strong, they can be seen as fearless, for example, right, or kind of leaders or, you know, the providers and all these things, right.
Speaker 1:So men typically aren't as encouraged to express their emotions as much as women are, as an example, okay, so in society we are taught that men, okay, expressing their emotions can be seen as a sign of weakness? Right, it can be seen as a kind of sign of like a feminine thing, right. So, as an example, a man who wants to express his emotions why would you do that, right? Only women express their emotions? Or why would you do that? That is so feminine, right? So sometimes, a guy wanting to talk about his feelings or wanting to express himself or being vulnerable right, even allowing himself to be vulnerable can be very hard, right, it can be very hard because, again, society doesn't really typically agree with that right.
Speaker 1:And I think there's been a big shift since the pandemic, which is really allowing people to kind of, or allowing men, more specifically, to start opening up a bit more, which I think is phenomenal right, which I think is so, so, so good, and we need more of that right. But, honestly, sometimes and speaking as a man myself, right, I've been through this myself but it can be almost seen as a threat to your masculinity, right, and in my personal opinion, I'll dive into this a bit later but honestly, I think a man, personally, the true definition of masculinity is being able to balance both the feminine energy and the masculine energy, right, it's being able to utilize both of these energies at any given time and you have them in your disposal as an example, right, but again, because of societal standards, right, and we've all heard this before. Right, men don't cry. Men who cry are weak, you know. Suck it up as an example, right? Or the famous one man up right, we've all heard them, right.
Speaker 1:And so, because of this, a lot of times many men will even neglect to talk about how they're feeling, right, so they don't want to talk about their feelings because they fear they will be judged right, especially like in a group of men. As an example, right, if you ask this question to a lot of men, which I've personally done myself and you know speaking. If you ask this question to a lot of men which I've personally done myself and speaking from experiences from prior friendships that I've had a lot of times in the men's circle men will never be talking to other men about how they're feeling. So, from what I've noticed personally and from my own experiences, there's two things Either men will typically talk to women about how they're feeling, or they won't talk at all, or they'll just bury it all deeper women about how they're feeling. Or they won't talk at all or they'll just bury it all deeper. Right, because it's not as common for men to be expressing with other men, especially. Right. So, as an example, let's say that someone, a man, is going through something, it's very rare that he'll be able to talk about that with another man.
Speaker 1:Right, because, again, men aren't shown, or men aren't taught, how to express their emotions. Right, so, even if someone wants to open up, right that person receiving this kind of new insight as an example, he might not even know how to react. Right, because, again, based off societal standards and just based off what we're taught as we grow up, men aren't supposed to talk about these things. Right, so it makes it very hard for two men, even grown men, right, and I'll talk about something later, but it makes it even harder for two grown men to have that discussion, right, that conversation. So, again, what tends to happen is they don't talk at all. Right? So if they don't talk to a woman or someone else, as an example, they won't talk at all. So what happens is they suppress it right, they push it away, which is very, very detrimental to someone's mental health. Right, especially men. Okay, and this is what I mean.
Speaker 1:Right, for men allowing themselves to open up and be vulnerable and talk about the things that are on their heart is shown as a sign of weakness. So essentially, what I'm trying to say here is that vulnerability equals weakness. So, again, it's like men don't cry only in certain situations, as an example. So I think this becomes a very big problem for a few reasons, right, first and foremost is that men don't feel comfortable talking about how they're feeling right, and a lot of times men are, like, seen as the providers and the strong ones and the fearless, as an example, right. So especially like, if you, you know, if you look at as an example of father who's, you know, working very hard, providing for his family, right, all these different things right, he's kind of seen as the provider of the family and there's nothing wrong with that.
Speaker 1:But again, sometimes as a father you can get very stressed out. Right, you've got all these things, you're kind of carrying the weight of the family on your shoulders, but then you don't feel comfortable talking to your wife about how you're feeling, you don't feel comfortable talking to a friend about how you're feeling right, so then that can really kind of weigh on someone's shoulders, right, and then there's so many stresses that come with that, right, you want to make sure that you're providing for the family, you want to make sure that you know you're financially secure, you're secure in yourself all these different things, right. But then we're not taught how to talk about these things, right? I think, again, for women it's so instinctive, right, it's so natural for women to just talk about their feelings. But for men, not only do we not talk about it, but we're not taught how to talk about those things. And that, I think, is where there's a huge problem. So not only do we suppress it, but there's another kind of twist to that as well.
Speaker 1:So there's something that I read online and it said an emotion is a problem to be solved, not something to be talked about. And they were referring specifically to men about this kind of topic here. So I'll read that again An emotion is a problem to be solved, not something to be talked about. Okay, and I think for men, we have this tendency to fix, right. So we, we have this tendency to try to fix an emotion, okay. So, instead of kind of, because, again, we don't know how to deal with it, we don't know how to process it, we don't know how to sit with it. We have a tendency to try to fix it.
Speaker 1:So, as an example, let's say there's a young child that gets bullied. Okay, he gets bullied for being a little overweight. He's not sure how to talk about that with other people, right? So maybe he's afraid of crying about it because he'll get bullied even more. There are a million different circumstances, okay, so instead of dealing with it, there's other things that he can try to do. Okay, he can try to start going to the gym to lose weight. He can try to, you know, learn martial arts, defend himself in case the bullies come back. He knows how to fight all these different things, right? He may have talked to someone and they're like oh, man up as an example, okay, there could be all these different things. And I really think the man up quote you know we hear all the time. I really think that's kind of a trait of toxic masculinity. But what I'm saying here is is there anything bad with going to the gym to lose weight and taking care of yourself or, you know, learning basic martial arts on how to defend yourself? No, there's nothing wrong with that.
Speaker 1:But again, is the underlying emotion ever dealt with? Absolutely not right. The underlying emotion is never dealt with. Instead, it's trying to be fixed by doing something instead of actually talking to someone about, like a therapist or even just a family member or whoever it may be. Because, again, we're not really taught how to talk about these things. We're not really taught how to handle these emotions, okay.
Speaker 1:And for men, I guess the you know, one of the acceptable, if you will, emotions that you know society allows us is anger. Right, if you really think about it, it's anger, okay. So if someone gets bullied a lot of times, again that that thing comes up, right, man up, it's like, it's almost like this, you need to defend yourself in that circumstance, right, you need to do things to possibly, you know, beat the bully or something like that, right? So, personally, with like, I don't personally agree with that, but again, it's, it's really for men, it's so much different, right, it's so much different. And again, for a lot of men, what will tend to happen is they're not dealing with it. So, yeah, sure, some men will try learning martial arts and such and then beat up people and such, but you know that's not really dealing with the core issue. Right now You're using that emotion on other people, right, so that's not a great thing. So, instead of processing the anger in a healthy way and channeling that anger in a perhaps creative way, you're using it to fight someone as an example. Okay, and that, to me, is just. It's not the way to deal with it, right?
Speaker 1:And what tends to happen again, right is men will then go and suppress their emotions by suppressing your emotions all the time, over years and years and years. For a lot of men, this leads to severe cases of depression, anxiety and, unfortunately, suicide. Okay, I was reading studies on this, which is not ideal, but again, men are much more likely to commit suicide than women. That's an unfortunate truth. It's an unfortunate fact, and I was reading the study here that said, in 2018, men died by suicide about 3.56 times more often than women did, so that's crazy. And I was reading another statistic in 2023 that was saying roughly 80%. So about 80% of suicides are men.
Speaker 1:The reason for this is because most men don't have anyone to talk to, especially not other male friends, like I was talking about and I'll get to that in a second here but most men don't have anyone to talk to, and not only do they not have anyone to talk to. They don't know how to talk about these things, right, they don't know how to talk about what they're feeling. They don't know how to talk about all these emotions that they've been suppressing for multiple years. Right, they don't know how to talk about that. And it's like I was saying a bit earlier as well, especially not with other male friends. Okay, because again, there are other.
Speaker 1:You know, let's say you're a group of eight guys as an example, okay, and one of them starts to open up about their emotions. Other guys can come in and say, oh, my goodness, stop complaining, man up, you know, stop talking about that bullshit and all these different things. Right, like, I've seen many things, I've heard many things, and for a lot of guys that's the case, right, they don't have any male friends to talk about. So, sure, it's very kind of releasing to be able to talk to a woman about these things, but, honestly, when you have a conversation with a man about this, I think it's very, very different, because being vulnerable like having two men being vulnerable is just, it's a different form of intimacy. It's very, very different, right, and for me personally, I'm very lucky to have a supportive group of guys that I can talk to about anything, like my best friends, I can talk to about anything, and I've never, ever, taken that for granted because I know, as men, it is so, so, so hard to do.
Speaker 1:Okay, and a quick story about this. Like, I went to something called a men's retreat, right? So here in New Brunswick, where I live, there was a men's retreat that was hosted and it was 18 men, right, and these retreats were made specifically for men who really didn't know how to deal with their stuff, their trauma, all these different things, right, some men went to therapists and all these different things. But, again, when you're 18 grown men, 18 adults, sitting in a room and talking about everything that's on your heart, right, it's absolutely mind-blowing, it's absolutely crazy.
Speaker 1:And one thing that we heard often was exactly that, right, how many times will you see men in the same room expressing how they're feeling right, taking their walls down and being extremely vulnerable with one, each other? That, in and of itself, has one of the most healing factors, if you will, that I've ever personally seen. Right, again, it's very important for men to talk to anyone, right, men, women, whatever, right? About how they're feeling. But because men aren't taught right, because men aren't typically quote-unquote allowed to talk about these things. When two men come together and talk about these things, I have trouble explaining it into words because it is something that you need to experience, but this is something that I'm telling you right now.
Speaker 1:If you're a man and you don't know how to talk to people and you don't know how to you know kind of process with your emotions, a men's retreat. I don't know if you would have that over where you are, but basically you can look for them as well. Maybe you need to have a drive somewhere, but a men's retreat is something that is very, very healing because, again, you are in a room with so many grown men who are in the same boat as you, who, for most of them right, we're never really taught how to talk about their things pushed everything down for so long, right, I heard stories like you couldn't even imagine, right, so it's absolutely crazy. And the thing is, when we're men and we feel like kind of have this wit of the world on our shoulders, a lot of times it leads to suppression, right. So suppressing everything like we were talking about earlier can lead to so many poor behaviors, right? So many poor behaviors, drugs, alcohol, you name it. Right? Because, again, we don't know how to deal with it. We sweep it under the rug. Because, again, we don't know how to feel these things, right, we don't. We're never taught and in fact we're not even taught how we're taught that if we talk about these things, it makes us weak. If we talk about these things, it's not socially acceptable, right? We're seeing it's seen as a weakness. Oh, you're crying, you're a weak man. As an example, right, and that's so, so, so not true. So, not true at all.
Speaker 1:And this is why I think it's so important for men to learn how to use both those masculine and feminine energies. Right, to call upon both when they're needed, to really learn how to balance them. Right, because, again, there's nothing wrong with having your masculine traits we get those inherently as an example, okay. But it's also about learning that it's okay to lean on the feminine, right? It's okay to cry when you need to cry, whether that's for a happy moment or a sad moment. It's okay to allow yourself and give yourself permission to experience the wide range of emotions that we have as human beings. Okay, not only anger, where we're lashing out, we're getting into a fight or something, but anger being one of them, of course but also allowing ourselves to feel sad when we need to. You know, when we're sad, joyful, allowing ourselves to feel whatever emotion that we're feeling at that point in time.
Speaker 1:But most importantly as well is allowing ourselves to be vulnerable, right, allowing ourselves to break that wall, take that wall down so that we can actually talk about what is on our hearts. And, from speaking to many women, this is something I've heard so many different times is I wish my partner would open up to me a bit more, right? I wish I could really understand what this guy is going through. But again, from the male perspective, it's so hard when we're not taught how to do that right, but not only are we not taught how to do that, but we're not encouraged to do so because of societal culture, societal norms. So this is why I think it's so important for us to keep talking about this topic right, to really show men, to teach men and encourage men, that it is okay to express your emotions as a man, right, it is completely okay to express yourself, it is okay to talk about your feelings and how you're feeling, and it is okay to be vulnerable and let your guard down when you need to be vulnerable in situations that you know require you to be vulnerable, right? I truly believe that, as a man, if we really want to step into our full power, it is to incorporate both those masculine and feminine energies right, and by doing so, I think not only is it a healing factor, but it allows you to show up fully, not only for yourself, but in your relationships with your partner and with your children.
Speaker 1:And I think that it truly starts with questioning the belief that you have about that, right, about men don't cry or men don't express their emotions. Right, because, again, are they truly your beliefs or are they beliefs that were inherited by society, by television, by caregivers, by certain parents? It could be a mother just as much as a father, right, and as I was doing this episode, I was doing a lot of research and I was watching different videos and I was actually really diving deeper into the comment section to see just about this whole topic about men don't cry, and some of the comments there as well were actually showing that. You know, some mothers were even telling their sons not to cry, right, because it's shown as weak. So it's not only from a fatherly perspective, but it could also be the mother in the scenario that's telling their children not to cry. Okay, I was also reading that some men, even in relationships where they tried to be vulnerable with their partner, that they were rejected or made fun of or, you know, their partner called them weak for crying or all these different things right Now, again, I really want to clarify something here.
Speaker 1:I know that the majority of women don't talk like this or don't want that right. The majority of women do genuinely want men to open up and to be vulnerable and talk about their feelings. But I'm just trying to give the overall kind of perspective, the overall bird's eye view here, of just how deep this goes for men. It's not only from society, it's not only from a father, it could also be from a female perspective. Even so, this is why, for a lot of men, it's so hard for us to even talk about anything, because we don't feel safe to. We fear that we'll be judged, we fear that we'll be made fun of right. But again, I just want to reiterate here that I know that a lot of women do want us to open up and talk about that, which I genuinely do appreciate and as I was putting the episode together, I kind of really went into a rabbit hole, to be quite honest, because I really wanted to hear more men's perspectives, right, like I've heard it from clients that I've talked to.
Speaker 1:I've heard it from, honestly, just people that I've talked to, and even, like, the men's resort that I was talking to you about. But I wanted to hear from a wider variety of men, and one of the questions that was asked was when was the last time you cried? And some of the things here were. I actually shocked me. There was like this you know, 20 something year old kid that was saying last time he cried was ninth grade. You know, one guy mentioned five years ago.
Speaker 1:Ok, a lot of the answers will also relate in relation to loss or death. So an example one of them said oh well, I cried a month ago because my dog died Right. Or you know, my dad died a few months ago, so I cried because of that. Oh, I cried eight months ago because my dog died. So do you see what I mean? Like, a lot of times, men will only allow themselves to cry when it's like for the loss of something right, like something so significant that it forces them to cry, right, and I truly believe that said, men do cry, just not in front of anyone. Also, that really struck a chord with me, because I've known that to be true in a lot of circumstances in my own life. But again, it just portrays the image that it makes it unsafe for men to cry in front of someone, right, whether that's a male friend, a family, their partner, as an example, right.
Speaker 1:And I'm really here to tell you today, if you take anything at all from this episode, it's really this it's that it is okay to express yourself as a man. Okay, there's absolutely nothing wrong, there's no sign of weakness or anything like that at all. So now the question becomes how do men express more vulnerability, right? Like, how do men start talking about their emotions? How do men show emotion, right? So I really want to talk about this a bit more in this episode and I'm going to be honest, this is a very big topic, so I really can't cover all this in this episode, but I wanted to give a kind of a few tips that I know have helped me personally and that have helped other men that I've talked to and worked with as well.
Speaker 1:First and foremost, I think the first tip, before doing anything else, is literally telling yourself that it is okay to show emotion and it's okay to be honest about what you're feeling. Okay, give yourself permission to accept what it is that you're feeling. Right, because, in my personal opinion, vulnerability equals strength. Right, if you can use that vulnerability in a proper and healthy way and you're channeling this in a healthy way, this can help you in all aspects of your life and this can help you in any relationship that you have in your life. So, before doing anything else, it's really genuinely sitting with yourself and allowing yourself to feel what needs to be felt and allowing yourself to truly, truly say hey, listen, I'm a human being. Just because I'm a man doesn't make it weak because I need to cry. Just because I'm a man doesn't make me weak or less of a man because I need to talk about something or I need to express how I feel or what's on my heart. Okay, so, truly. Tip number one, honestly, is really to just tell yourself that it is okay.
Speaker 1:The second tip that I want to share with everyone today is that it's so important to understand where this belief comes from right. Where did to share with everyone today is that it's so important to understand where this belief comes from. Right, where did this? I can't cry because I'm a man. You know if I cry I'm going to get rejected or made fun of or whatever the situation is right. Where does that belief come from? Is it from a parent? Is it from a caregiver? Is it from, you know, a teacher at school? Is it from society, probably right, or is it like what? Where is this belief comes from? And a lot of times it could be a mix of all these things.
Speaker 1:Perhaps, like I said, you had a father that, honestly, you never saw your father cry, you know. So you maybe started associating that with, like, hmm, you know, men don't cry, right, because of other things that you've heard in society as well, right, so it could be a few things there as well. It could be that, literally, you had a father figure that you know, or even a mother told you that, right. But it could be that your father was saying men don't cry, men don't show weakness, you know, suck it up, it's. You know.
Speaker 1:Men don't talk about their feelings, men don't show emotions in them. All, right, if you want to be a man, you don't talk about this stuff. You sweep it under the rug and just push on right. You just proceed with the day as if nothing happens. Talking about your emotions is only for women, right? There's so many things I've heard in my lifetime and according to this, especially as a man, and there's so many different videos that I've seen, right, and I've seen so many other men talk about this where they say, no, men don't cry. Men showing emotions is weak, men do not show vulnerability. All these different things, right? Personally, I am totally in disagreement with that.
Speaker 1:Again, like I've been saying this whole episode, I truly believe that it's time that we flip that script and we start encouraging men to talk about the way they feel. We start encouraging men, not only encouraging them, but showing them and teaching them how to feel that it is okay to be vulnerable, to let their guard down, and it is okay to talk about what is on their hearts, okay, so, really, tip number two, like I'm saying, is really to start understanding where this belief comes from, and then you need to start challenging right and unlearning that belief, because, again, it's not true, okay, and honestly, is it actually your belief? Is it something you're holding on to or is it something that you learned elsewhere. Tip number three is to learn about your emotions right and how they show up in your body, so that they don't take control over you. Okay, because a lot of times, right, since men have never really dealt with these things, they've never really kind of felt what they needed to feel and they've suppressed a lot of their emotions for so long a lot of times that can come up as anger or frustration, right, and for some reason, for men, anger is kind of the socially acceptable emotion that men can kind of portray, right, and we see this all the time. We see men fighting or fistfights or street fights and you know people are cheering, people are doing whatever, right, it's almost like anger is socially acceptable, but when a man cries, that is weak, okay, so it's honestly it's you know, if you're a man who's got a lot of frustration, who's got a lot of anger built up, it's really about learning to understand how that anger shows up in your body, right.
Speaker 1:What does it feel like when the anger shows up in your body, so that you can start catching yourself in moments of anger? Okay, it's to make sure that you are not throwing that onto someone else, that you're not lashing out at your partner just because you know you didn't deal with something. Right, because you, you didn't allow yourself to feel something. You've been stressed a lot and the only way that you're kind of, you know, allowing your stress to get out is by being very angry and then screaming at your partners. An example, okay, it's so that you don't start fighting with people randomly, okay, like I know guys that fight all the time. Okay, to me personally, that is an indication of you know, there's a lot of different things. But also also, it's it's pent up anger. It's it's anger that's building up and there's no way else to release it other than fighting as an example, right? So it's really about learning about your emotions so that they don't take control over you, right? So, as an example, anger. And it's also about learning that if I'm really angry about something, maybe I need to cry, okay, maybe I really need to let it out in another way. Maybe there's so much frustration and I just need to really cry, or go somewhere and scream, right, there could be so many different ways to let this frustration out, okay, but a lot of men will never cry because, again, you know, not socially acceptable. So it's really learning about how to kind of channel that energy, and I'll talk about that in the next step.
Speaker 1:Tip number three is really what we were just talking about, and it's really finding therapeutic hobbies, that it's in a way to kind of channel that energy as well, right. So that could be through art, it could be through music, it could be exercise, spending time in nature, right. It could be hobbies that can really offer a productive outlet for your emotions, right, and help you connect with others who share similar interests as well. So, as an example, this could be like I said okay, maybe you're feeling very angry, feeling very stressed, there's something that happened at work and you've got all this pent up energy, this built up energy kind of nervousness, if you will, okay, it could be going out for a walk in nature, it could be doing something to really just help you kind of get that out. For me, personally, it's working out, okay. Working out the gym, that's my go-to, okay. I out the gym, that's my go-to, okay.
Speaker 1:I would also personally advise that you've got some sort of self-reflection method right, and this could be meditation, it could be journaling as an example, okay. So let's say you're feeling really sad about something. You're not really sure how to process that, but generally it's just about getting curious about why you're feeling a certain way. Okay, because, like I've said throughout this entire episode, it's completely normal for a man also to feel sad, to want to cry and feel the entire range of human emotion. Okay, it's completely, completely normal as men. And if you're a man in a situation that you know, maybe you just really don't feel at ready yet or at that level where you can talk to, you know, to someone about all these things because you're, you know, afraid of the fear, the judgment, whatever it may be. Talk to someone about all these things because you're afraid of the fear, the judgment, whatever it may be.
Speaker 1:Journaling is a great method to just at least get what's off your heart, off your chest, onto a piece of paper. You don't need to talk to anyone, you don't need to do anything else, but at least you're not keeping it in, you're not suppressing it. You are literally just putting it on paper and that's it. You can burn it afterwards, you can throw it away, you can do whatever it is that you want. You can keep it as a diary if you want. It doesn't matter at all. Right, you can. Even one of my clients did this. You can even have a video journal and essentially what you do is you just record yourself talking about whatever it is that you're going through, okay, and in that way it's just another kind of way to really release all of that, okay. So these are just two quick methods. Meditation is another one. There are so many different ways.
Speaker 1:I just personally I find journaling is a really good way. Okay, you can ask yourself specific questions, or you can literally just do a brain dump and write down everything that's coming to mind, everything that's on your heart. Okay, and even if you're a guy who's more naturally in tune with their emotions and how they're feeling and they're more okay with being vulnerable and stuff, journaling is still a great method. By the way, right, it's really for anyone, men and women. I genuinely, genuinely encourage journaling for anyone. But again, tip number four is to really find therapeutic hobbies to help you kind of channel and regulate those emotions and really get a better understanding of how they come up for you.
Speaker 1:Tip number five is to seek support. Okay, and I know this one for men can be very challenging because, again, we're men, right, we don't need support, we don't need help. We just push through life and everything's okay and we'll make it through and all these different things, right, and that is the furthest thing from the truth ever. Everyone I mean men and women here I truly, in my personal opinion, I think everyone should have a coach, a therapist or whatever it is, or whatever their modality or preference is. Okay, I've got a therapist myself. I've tried many different modalities.
Speaker 1:Another one as well could be a men's resort, like I talked about earlier. Right, where you're going and you're spending a weekend with a group of guys. Okay, and that in and of itself is so healing, because then you're hearing so many different perspectives and stories and men that are in your situation, right, men who are kind of going through a walk of life that you are currently in, right now. Right, and, like I said earlier, it's so, so, so healing to be in a setting where there's a group of men that are really going through similar experiences or they're going through their own thing and you're learning from them as well. Right, own thing, and you're learning from them as well. Right, but it's allowing you know, in my case it was 18 men 18 men to be fully vulnerable, to let their guard down and talk about anything and everything that's on their hearts, and it's so, so, so liberating, okay.
Speaker 1:And another suggestion that I wanted to offer here okay, if you're a man and you're struggling with the idea of working with a coach or a therapist, for whatever reason, it is okay. Maybe you're really not in tune with how you're feeling, your emotions and all these different things. Maybe you're afraid of working with another man because typically men, the idea of men opening up and talking to each other about things is very different, right, it's not really seen, it's not very cultural, right? As an example, how many times have you you know, if you're a man, listening to this, how many times have you told your best friend, or perhaps even your father, that you love them? Okay, I tell my boys that I love them all the time, but it took me a while to actually do that and it took me a while to do that comfortably. Okay, for a lot of men, they can't even tell, like their father or their best friends, that they love them. Okay, women, on the other hand, do that instinctively and naturally, okay.
Speaker 1:So, if you're really struggling with working with someone, okay, maybe start out with a woman. And the reason I say that is because you're going to be stepping into feminine energy, okay, and if you are having issues talking about your stuff, I truly believe that working with a woman as a therapist can help you kind of step into that feminine energy for a lot of different reasons, right, like, I've been working with my therapist for three years and she's amazing, but really what I've really noticed is that first and foremost, obviously she creates a safe space. Okay, but I think for a lot of men it's so much more natural to talk to a woman about our things. Right, I've talked to many guys who will never talk to their friends about their issues, but they go to see a woman and talk about their issues, right, again, why? Because women are naturally in tune with their emotions. Women are more intuitive, right Women? They know how to feel, almost instinctively right. They know how to talk about their feelings. They talk about their feelings all the time, which is a great thing.
Speaker 1:So starting out with a woman can really help you step into that feminine energy and really start balancing out that energy and really stepping into your full power as a man. Okay, and you know, a great therapist will make you feel safe, will make you feel seen and understood Okay, and she will understand where you're coming from and she will understand that as a society, men are not really kind of shown how to do these things right, and she will help you step into that power. So this is just really kind of a personal perspective. But again, and then later on, if you want, you know you can work with a man you can work with. I personally, I would honestly recommend that you do both, Okay. But I'm just saying like if you're really having trouble to start, this could be a good start.
Speaker 1:Now just the final message that I want to really send to all men here before we wrap this up Okay, it is absolutely 100% okay to express your emotions as a man. It is okay to talk about things and talk about how you feel. It is absolutely okay to do so. There is nothing wrong with expressing yourself as a man. It does not make you less of a man, it does not make you weak, it does not make you, whatever society paints that picture to be Truly. I genuinely, genuinely mean this.
Speaker 1:So, if you're feeling really stuck or you're really having issues with this or you know, maybe you're in a really low place in your life. Please seek help. Okay, seeking help and asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. So, that being said, that's all I've got for you guys on today's episode. If you did like the episode, please feel free to leave a comment or review, share it. It really helps bring awareness to what I'm trying to do, which is really kind of spread this podcast on a broader scale to really help people just navigate everyday life challenges. So, again, with that being said, I hope you have a good week and I will catch you guys next week. You.
