A Mindful Perspective
Welcome to my podcast! I'm Nick Levesque, and I'm on a mission to help you navigate life's challenges with a mindful perspective. Join me every week as I dive deep into the realms of mindset, spirituality, and personal growth. Drawing from my own experiences, I want to provide you with tools, strategies, insights, and inspiring stories that will help you go from where you are now, to where you want to be.
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A Mindful Perspective
How to Know Yourself
Do you truly know and understand yourself? Ever felt like you're listening to life's conversations without truly understanding the language of your own soul? In today's episode, we dive into the importance of self-knowledge and the journey of self-discovery. We shine light on the pivotal role it plays in sculpting our personal and interpersonal worlds. I share stories from my coaching practice that will inspire you, whether it's finding clarity during the solitude of lockdowns or the courage to challenge long-held beliefs, these narratives lace our discussion with the beauty of authenticity and the strength of vulnerability.
Have you ever considered how the uncharted waters of your inner narrative could lead to the most rewarding discovery of your life? Together, we explore the profound influence of values, beliefs, and the origin stories that shape them. I delve into my own experiences with societal expectations of masculinity and the echoes of parental voices that often shape our self-image, highlighting the importance of distinguishing between what's been inherited and what's genuinely ours. The power of professional guidance, like that of coaches or therapists, cannot be underestimated as we confront and reconcile with our shadows, paving the way for a deeply genuine relationship with oneself.
Ending on a note of action and exploration, we talk about the transformative effects of stepping beyond the familiar into the realm of new experiences and opportunities. I recount my personal journey of trusting intuition in decision-making, exemplified by my home-buying story, and how it can lead to profound personal growth. We wrap up with an open invitation to continue the conversation, emphasizing the value of therapists and coaches in navigating the labyrinth of the self. Join me for a discussion that isn't just about listening but about igniting the change you wish to see in your life.
Hello everyone and welcome to A Mindful Perspective. I'm your host, nick Levesque, certified Spiritual Life Coach, and I'm here to share insights into my journey of mindfulness and self-discovery. Each week, we'll explore mindset, spirituality and personal growth to help you navigate life's challenges, with practical strategies and inspiring stories. Let's dive in. Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of Mindful Perspective. In today's episode, I want us to talk about the importance of knowing yourself and, more specifically, how to get to know yourself, because I think that, on a fundamental level, we all have an understanding of ourselves, but not always to the degree and the extent that we think we do. So that's what we'll cover in today's episode is really how to get to know yourself. Now, the reason that I wanted to talk about this in today's episode is really because I think that getting to know ourselves is probably the most important thing that we can do. Honestly, I think that the most important relationship that we have is the one that we have with ourselves, and I think that a lot of us need to spend more time nurturing that relationship. Just like you have a relationship with your friends or your parents or whatever right, whatever relationship you wanna have in your life, I think that the relationship with ourselves is also just as important. Right, because obviously it's important to get to know yourself, but also, the relationship with ourselves also sets the foundation for all other relationships in your life. And something that I've noticed with working with clients, with talking to people whether that be friends or family or whoever else what I've really noticed is that a lot of us don't know or understand ourselves as well as we think that we do. Okay, this is something that I've also noticed in my own personal journey, when I was really diving into this kind of self-discovery and quote unquote self-help journey too. Well, right, a lot of us will pay a lot of time and attention to everything around us, the world around us, other people. We get to know other people very well, but very rarely is that really reciprocated towards ourself. Right, that attention and that time that we invest in other people very rarely is that time also invested in ourselves.
Speaker 1:Now, let's just use our jobs as an example. Okay, if I ask you today, you know what do you do for work? Okay, well, you could probably tell me everything that you do for work. You could probably tell me all the systems you've implemented, all the things that you've done, all the achievements that you've got to work as an example, okay. However, a lot of us don't take that same time that we invest in our roles, in our jobs that can replace us tomorrow, right. We don't take that same time to really dive deeper into ourselves and get to know ourselves, like we dive deep into our work and get to know every little detail about a role or the job that we have Now.
Speaker 1:This, for me personally, is something that I discovered early on in my journey is that I really didn't know myself as well as I thought. And during the COVID pandemic, so I'm in Canada and we were locked down for a few months at a time, so kind of in and out, right. So we had like a few weeks we were locked out and then we were okay and then we went in a lockdown at one point for like three months and then we kind of came back and there was all these restrictions and such. But what I'm trying to say is I use that time to really kind of look deeper and sit with myself and really start asking myself different types of questions, and that's really where my personal growth journey began and what I really noticed as I was kind of doing, you know, personality tests and just journaling and all these different things, is that I didn't really know myself as well as I thought I did. Right, like, obviously you know we know about ourselves, but when it comes down to like basic questions, right, like, what are your strengths, what are your weaknesses, what do you love to do, what are you know, all these different basic types of questions, I noticed that I had a hard time answering these questions, and I think that rings true for a lot of people as well.
Speaker 1:Right, for a few reasons is when, sometimes you know, we, a lot of people, don't really like to talk about themselves, if you will, right, but also, it's just that a lot of times, we don't really sit down and take time to reflect about that, right, like, what are our beliefs, right, about the world and about ourselves? What are our core values? All these different things, right, and these are things that are so, so, so important to get to know yourself with and, honestly, this is what can lead to have a better, not only have a better understanding about yourself, but it's what helps you create a meaningful and fulfilling life. Now, I invite you to take a moment to even reflect on that for yourself, right? If I ask you the question, what are your values, what are your beliefs, what are the things that you love to do, what are your strengths, what are your weaknesses? Right, like, you can get these questions all online and such, but I'm just asking you to ponder on that for a second. Can you answer those? Can you answer those with certainty and clarity? Okay, now, some people can, absolutely right.
Speaker 1:So I'm just saying that for a lot of us is, these questions are actually very hard to answer, but in my personal opinion, it's, it's things that we should know about ourselves. And for me personally, this is what I noticed during the pandemic. It's like these little questions I had a hard time answering and I was like, okay, so obviously there are some things that I need to dive deeper into here. Right, and again when I'm saying this, by the way, it's completely okay if you don't have all the answers to this right. Don't bring in shame or guilt or anything like that. Right, bring a sense of curiosity and wonder. So that's really what I brought to my self-discovery journey when I noticed that I didn't have all the answers that I wanted. There's no point in beating yourself up for this right. So this is really just to say, like, get curious about yourself, and we'll talk about this in a second, but I truly believe that curiosity is one of the keys to happiness. Right, to really get curious about yourself, what triggers you, what do you love? What do you love to do, all these different things? That's really how you get to know yourself.
Speaker 1:And there's something that Jordan Peterson said one time that really really stuck with me, and he said one of the first ways to come to know yourself is to understand that you don't know yourself, and I'm going to repeat that because I think this is very, very powerful, right? So one of the first ways to come to know yourself is to understand that you don't, and I just want to put a lot of emphasis on this. Okay, it's completely okay to not know yourself fully or not know the answer to these questions, right? There's no point in bringing shame or guilt or beating yourself up about it, right? The thing about this is it's self-discovery, right, and this is a lifelong journey. You don't just get to know yourself overnight or over a period of a month, right? Sure, you start to get to know yourself more, but, honestly, this is a lifelong journey and there are things right now that you don't understand that you will in 10 years time, for example, right. So this is just what I mean. But to get curious, right, and what he says, what Jordan Peterson says is exactly that, right, it's to understand that you don't, and that's completely fine. So this is what I mean by invoking that sense of curiosity you start understanding that you don't know yourself as well as you thought.
Speaker 1:So this, to me, was like a kind of like a little light bulb that switched for me and I was like, wow, okay, I really don't know myself as well as I thought. So to me, this was like a challenge to get to know myself much better, right, because, like, if you really think about it, you're friends with a lot of people. Right, you're friends with so many people. You know your friends like the back of your hand, yet you don't know yourself the way that you know your friends. So why not develop the same relationship that you have with your friends, with yourself? And I think that a really good way to start doing this is to watch yourself, like you're watching a stranger, as an example, right? I know this kind of sounds funny, but really that the time you spend you know on other people, or on your friends or getting to know other people. Just use that time, reciprocate that, mirror that onto yourself. Take a good look in the mirror and ask yourself who am I, who is Nick or who is whoever you are as an example?
Speaker 1:Okay, and to get to know who you are means that you need to start looking at everything, right. So your values, your core beliefs, the beliefs you have about yourself and about the world, your traumas, your past history, right, the things that trigger you. Okay, because, first and foremost, we need to understand something that's very important. Okay, there's a lot of things that come from our childhood experiences that aren't even our own. So, as an example, you need to understand as well that not all of your beliefs are your own, right, so not all the beliefs that we hold are our own. So, as an example, let's say that you grew up in a household where your father, as an example, would say things like men never show weakness, men never cry, men never do these things. Men are strong, men are blah, blah, blah. Right, and I think this rings true for a lot of men in our society today. Right, I think it's starting to get better. I think men are starting to be a bit more kind of vulnerable and really open up about their emotions, but a lot of men still.
Speaker 1:We kind of push everything away, suppress everything away and hide in the shadows, because we were taught to do that from an early age, and not only from our parents or caregivers or whatever, right, but honestly from society, from social media, from all these different things, from all these different perspectives and angles as well, but to understand that these are not actually your own beliefs, right? So again, if we're going back to the father, well, if your father kind of made you believe that as a kid, well, that's a belief that he passed down to you, but that does not necessarily mean that that belief is your own or that belief is actually true, right? And this is why it's so important to start questioning your own beliefs as you grow up, and especially when you're on this kind of path of self-discovery, right, because a lot of the beliefs that you hold may not even be your own. So it's very good to question where they're coming from and then obviously change the narrative if that applies to you. And again, this is all very important because if you're someone that has trouble with your emotions, specifically a man that has troubles with expressing their emotions, and you don't know where that's coming from. That is, again, possibly a belief that was passed down to you, right, unconsciously as well. This is not the fault of the parent, because, honestly, this is kind of like generational right. Perhaps their father passed it down to them, which then you know, if they didn't do their own inner work and all these different things, it gets passed down to the other generations as well, right? So this is why it's so, so, so important, and also understanding that your inner critic, okay, the negative thoughts inside your head, all these different things that also may not be your own doing. If you had a family, okay, or parents that were very, very critical of achievements, okay. So if you didn't bring home an A plus, okay for school or whatever, they would criticize you. They would do all these things right. So then you tie your own self-worth to how well you do in school or certain achievements, right?
Speaker 1:So then obviously, when you're failing and you're not getting that approval, you might start thinking things like I'm not good enough, I'm not worthy of love, I'm only worthy if I do this, I do that, I achieve this or I achieve that. And then that inner critic that keeps saying, oh, you're pathetic, you're going to fail, you're not worthy of love, all these different things, right? Is that really your own? Or is that really the critical voice from a parent? Okay, that was very critical towards you when you were young because you were not doing what they expected of you, right? So then, not only do you have all these issues, but you have so much expectations on yourself and it's just not feasible, right? So this is what I'm saying to really start to get to know yourself, because a lot of the things that you have is not your fault. So this is why I'm trying to say understanding your beliefs where they come from, the voice inside your head. Is that really your own? Is that a critical voice from a parent Understanding your traumas? Okay, and obviously that can. You know all these things.
Speaker 1:By the way, you can work with a coach or a therapist to go through all these things, right? I'm not saying to just do this alone. A lot of people like to do kind of this work as well, but oftentimes it's very, very beneficial to do this with a professional or a coach or just someone that can help you, guide you through this as well. Okay, but honestly, also understanding why we react to certain situations in a certain way. Right, why we get so triggered about certain people, certain circumstances, certain situations. Okay, why do we do what we do? Why do we keep having or returning to these bad habits that we know don't serve us at all?
Speaker 1:Okay, and I just want to highlight something that's very, very important okay, this work is something that we do over a lifetime. Right, it's not a destination that you need to achieve to be fulfilled or worthy or whatever right, like you are worthy just as you are. That includes with all your traumas, all the experiences that you've had, et cetera. Right, you don't need to do anything or get anywhere to be worthy of anything. Right, the self-discovery, this journey, is that, so that we can heal ourselves, so that we can get to understand and know ourselves. Right, and I'm a firm believer that once you start to know yourself this well, once you start to get all this understanding of yourself, first and foremost, you start to realize that a lot of things were not ever your fault. Okay, and some things are downloaded by society, but like a computer, right, we are able to download new software, we're able to really do these upgrades on ourselves If we choose to, and I always believe I'm a firm believer that we always have a choice. We always have a choice. This is something that I've learned myself, but we always have a choice. We always have a choice. This is something that I've learned myself, but we always have a choice.
Speaker 1:But what I've noticed personally for me, is by putting this time into myself and starting to understand how I show up in the world, why I'm triggered by certain things, all these different things, I noticed that, first and foremost, this was a healing factor for me. And then, honestly, I began to develop a friendship with myself and, to a certain point where, you know, I became best friends with myself, and for a lot of people, I think that's really what they want, right, because a lot of people can't even sit with themselves, because they have trouble with their thoughts and all these different things, right, but being able to become your own best friend, I think, is the biggest gift that you can get, that you can give yourself, which is why I'm saying getting to know yourself is really also to really develop and nurture and nourish that relationship that you have with yourself, because, at the end of the day, you can have your partners, you can have your friends and everything, but you are stuck with yourself for the rest of your life. So you might as well make it a good one, right, or as best as you can anyway, but again, this is a practice. It's not something that happens overnight and it's something that we work on consistently. Okay, just like putting reps into the gym, as an example. We put reps into ourselves, okay.
Speaker 1:And another reason this is so important is because we don't want to project our own issues onto other people, right? We don't want to project our own uncertainties, our own traumas all these different things, into our relationships, into our friends, whatever relationship it may be right, it's to understand that if you can kind of catch your projection before it even happens, right, and obviously we project all the time unconsciously. But if you can at least start noticing oh my goodness, like that's my baggage here, right, why am I throwing that onto someone else? Right, there, you are more self-aware than most people ever will be as an example, right? So this is why I'm saying it's such a powerful tool, not only for yourself, but to make sure that you're not unwillingly hurting other people as well.
Speaker 1:However, I do want to highlight something very important here as well. Okay, getting to know yourself. Yes, it's very important to understand your traumas, your beliefs and where you come from. Okay, however, there's another very important part to that as well. It's understanding who you are, right. It's understanding your values, your strengths, your qualities, all the good stuff about yourself as well. It's not only the things that you quote, unquote need to work on. It's also what you contribute to the world and how you show up to the world as well.
Speaker 1:Speaking personally, this is something that I discovered early on in my journey is that I can sit there and talk about my brother, my parents, my friends, all the great qualities that they have, all the great things that they contribute to the world. Right, how they show up. When it comes to myself, I have trouble talking about that, and I think that's for a lot of us the case. Right, for multiple different reasons, but also, like, truthfully, is because we don't even know. We don't know what our core values are, we don't know what our strengths are, we don't know what our beliefs about the world are.
Speaker 1:Okay, and these things are so important to help us create a more meaningful and fulfilling life, and I think the most important shift for me personally, when I really kind of dove into this inner work experience and really getting to know myself better, is not only that you know, you get to understand your triggers, your traumas, your core values, your beliefs, all these different things is that, first and foremost, it helps you build a life that you love. But secondly, and I think most importantly, is that you start living for yourself and not other people. Okay, you start understanding that what other people think or say doesn't really matter and you truly stop caring about what other people think because you realize that in order to make yourself happy, you need to stick accordingly to your values, right To your beliefs and what you want to bring to the world. So you start understanding that the path that you're on is the path that you truly want to be on and the path that you want to truly stay on as well. So, before we dive into our tips here, like we typically do, I just really want to say getting to know yourself is about getting to understand really the 360 degree of who you are right. It's about really having that bird's eye view, not only about your traumas and your past, but also about you know your strengths, your values and what you want to bring to the world, your qualities, all these beautiful things about you as well. Okay, but now let's really dive into it. So, how do we get to know ourselves?
Speaker 1:So, the first tip that I want to share with everyone today and you may have guessed it already, but this is curiosity. Okay, to truly get curious about yourself. Okay, to truly get curious about yourself from a place of wonder and compassion. Because, again, once you start diving into yourself, right, even, not only just the strengths and the beliefs and all these things, but once you start diving into the past experiences that you've had, right, the beliefs that maybe no longer serve you, the bad habits and all these different things, this is shadow work, right? This is something that's very hard to do. It's not something that's easy, okay, and this is why I always emphasize the importance of working with a coach or therapist, right? So, again, yes, some of us can do this work alone, but some of us have had extremely difficult or traumatic childhood experiences, right? So we want to make sure that we're not re-traumatizing ourselves or, you know, reliving something that's very uncomfortable and, of course, as we're doing this type of work, it will get uncomfortable, but it should never be too overwhelming, okay. So this is why I just want to highlight the important emphasis on working with a coach or a therapist if you feel like you need one.
Speaker 1:This is why sometimes I think like the term shadow work is really thrown around a lot, because a lot of people seem it's like almost like a trend. Right, everyone's like doing shadow work and these different things, but it's you know, if you really stop and think about it, doing shadow work is extremely hard. Right, it's not just something that it's like I said before, it's not just something that you do overnight. It's something that you do over a lifetime, and it also forces you to look at parts of yourselves that you may not have wanted to look at before. So this is what I'm saying it's not as simple as people make it out to be right, but if you can at least start looking at those parts of yourselves, instead of from a shameful or angry or, you know, guilty place, you start looking at it from a place of compassion and curiosity and just being like, okay, like listen, you know, I just really want to get to know myself. There's so much more that I need to learn about myself. It's the same thing Like when you start dating someone, as an example. You want to know all about them, right. You want to get to know them Well, reciprocate, mirror that back onto you and use that same energy and time that you would in getting to know your partner into yourself.
Speaker 1:And a big part of that, as well, is to have radical honesty with yourself, right, we all know that having hard conversations with other people is hard, right, sometimes we don't want to do the breakup. We don't want to, you know, say something to a friend that needs to be said, all these different things. But also that applies to ourselves as well. Right, we need to have that radical, honest conversations with ourselves as well, because, like I said before, I truly believe that the most important relationship we have is with ourselves, and we, first and foremost, must understand that we do not know ourselves as much as we think we do. So, once we start again looking at ourselves with a sense of curiosity and having that radical, honest conversation, right, and it could be little things, but it's about stop lying to yourself, right. As you know, it's plain and simple. It's a bit hard to hear sometimes, but it's really about stop lying to yourself, okay.
Speaker 1:So, as an example, when you're buying something at the store, it could be whatever purchase it is. If you're buying something, are you actually buying it for you or is there a part of you that wishes to impress other people? Okay, I know, for me that was something that you know happened a lot in my life when I bought my house, when I bought my car a few years ago. I bought it for myself and I was very proud, but at the same time, there was a part of me that was like, hmm, you know, I might get validation from that, right. So, just these different things and this is just one question, right, does this does not apply to everyone, but it's just to give you an example, okay, another well, do you actually enjoy the hobbies that you're doing? Or, again, is it because you enjoy what other people think about the hobby that you're pursuing? Okay, a lot of times people will kind of go to a different extent and jump in a really kind of far out extent to really get that validation from other people. Right, so they might be doing something or pursuing something that they really don't like, but again, it's to impress other people.
Speaker 1:And these are just very simple questions about radical honesty, right? Radical honesty can be about anything Like why do you keep doing the thing that you shouldn't be doing? Right? So it could be. You know, for me, years ago, it was really why do I keep smoking weed? Right, like, why do I keep smoking weed? Honest to God. And that was a very difficult and honest conversation that I had with myself, and for a long time. It's honestly just because I was numbing myself, I was repressing stuff. I really I didn't know how to deal with my emotions, my thought, all these things. So I was pushing it away, pushing into the shadow and really numbing myself, right? So this is what I mean by having the honest conversations with yourself.
Speaker 1:And, again, the radical honesty here is not only about the things that you need to change or the things that no longer serve you. It's about anything, and I'm going to give you some examples here, okay. So, like we talked about earlier, what are your values, what are your beliefs, not only about yourself, but about the world at large? Okay, what are activities that you generally enjoy doing, that you would love to do more of? What's going right in your life right now? And also what's going wrong in your life right now? What are some things that you're unwilling to do? What do you procrastinate on and why? What do you congratulate yourself on? These are all different types of questions and, like I said, you can Google these.
Speaker 1:There's a bunch of different things, but truly, like I keep saying, self-awareness is the key, and it all begins with curiosity. It's so important to look at all parts of yourselves. It's, like I said earlier, right, it's a 360 degree view. It's a bird eyes view. You're kind of looking down onto yourself and really you start exploring everything, not just what needs to change or the bad things about you, but also doing more of what brings you peace, doing more of what brings you happiness and how you can bring that into the world as well, because I'm a firm believer that a big part of peace and just being happy is to help people. It's to serve people in your own way, and that can look like many different things for many different people. Maybe you like baking cakes and you serve people that way.
Speaker 1:There's no right or wrong answer to that, but it's really about how you want to show up in the world as well, and something that I really want to touch on quickly as well, is our qualities. Right, we all inherently have great qualities about ourselves, but a lot of us are kind of reluctant and unwilling to show those to the world or talk about our great qualities. Right, we don't want to sound egotistical and all these different things, but the truth is, in my personal opinion, if we're coming from an authentic place, I truly believe that we should highlight our qualities more. We should really talk about our qualities more, and a lot of the times we look at other people, we can highlight all their qualities. We talk about other people, we talk about their amazing qualities and such and little do we do that to ourselves? Okay, and the thing is, I understand that it's much easier to see qualities in someone else than in yourself, but the other thing is, the reason you keep seeing perhaps the same qualities in so many people is because, also, they are inherently in yourself. Right, the reason you keep seeing these qualities in everyone else is because you also have them, but, again, it is much easier to see them in someone else than in yourself. But I'm just here to tell you that you also have these qualities.
Speaker 1:Tip number two, and what I've found to be one of the key factors in getting to know myself is spend more time alone. Okay, spending more time alone is, I think, personally, what I found to be the greatest way to get to know yourself a lot more and on a much deeper level, because you're not influenced by anything else. You're not distracted by anything else. Right, and that can look like simply sitting with yourself. Right, it could be sitting with yourself through meditation or just honestly, just pausing and sitting with yourself and seeing what's coming up. Right, are there any questions that you want to ask yourself? You can really talk to yourself. It's kind of like a voice dialogue that you have with yourself. You can actually really talk to yourself, right? This can also look like simply going out in nature. It could be trying something new. It could be taking a solo trip somewhere. I talked to a friend a little while back. She took a trip, solo trip, and she loved it. She thought it was amazing, right? So, honestly, taking a solo trip sometimes can really be a very powerful and profound thing. It helps you really to find yourself right, to get to know yourself better.
Speaker 1:It could be journaling, right, and when I say journaling, there's so many different questions online and the thing about journaling is it's great because you can go really deep. Okay, even if you print out 10 questions and you only answer one and you elaborate on that one, okay, that's also very perfect. And the thing about journaling as well something that stopped me from journaling for a long time is like there's no actual formal way to journal. Okay, If you want to journal and just do a brain dump and just write what comes down for you, that is perfectly fine as well. If you want more structure and you want a specific set of questions, then perfect, do that, dive into those questions as well. And if one of the questions, as an example, is like what do I love to do? Well, you can answer that question and then you write down a list of things. Okay. But instead of jumping to the next question, you can also kind of take that question even deeper, okay, so let's say, what do I love to do, and you write down a few more things, okay, well, okay, well, what could I do this week? How can I do more of what I love? Right, you can really dive into even one question rather than jumping to the next question.
Speaker 1:Next question for me, it's what really stopped me from journaling for a long time, and I know for other people as well from what I've talked to people about sometimes it can be even intimidating because you don't know where to start, you don't know how to start and I'm just here to tell you that there is no proper way to start. But again, spending that time by yourself is so crucial and it's a key component in getting to know yourself. Right, there are so many great ways to do this, whether that's just sitting with yourself, meditating, journaling, reading a book, whatever it is. There's so many activities, right. Sometimes I even go to the movies by myself, right, it's really just to you know. Spend time with yourself. Take yourself on a date as well. As an example if your friends cancel on something and you still want to go, go Like I have a friend that goes to concerts alone and all these different things. Right, and I get it. Sometimes it's easier for people that are a bit introverted and such, but I find that it's such a powerful practice when you can spend time alone and go somewhere and be alone, right, whether that's a movie theater, whether that's a restaurant like I'll often go to the beach alone, I'll bring a book. Those are great ways to spend time with yourself and really tune into your own power and, again, really build that relationship with yourself. It really helps you become your own best friend.
Speaker 1:Tip number three is try new things and say yes to more opportunities. Okay, this is also a very important one because, again, a key to understanding what you like and what you want to bring to the world is also about trying new things right. And a lot of people talk about purpose and all these different things, and I'll talk about purpose later on, but again, I truly believe that to get to know yourself, even to get to know your quote-unquote purpose, you need to try things right. You need to try things over a span of time and you need to try multiple things. Okay, and for some people it happens, right, like they try something, they fall in love with it and that's what they end up doing for the rest of their lives. Right, that can happen as well. But for a lot of people we need to try different things. We need to try different activities, sports, careers, whatever it may be but honestly, it's about trying new things and saying yes to more opportunities. Right, when you say yes to stuff, it really opens up more doors, and this is something I've challenged myself personally this year is to say yes to more things that kind of you know, bring me out of my comfort zone and allow me to explore new opportunities and try new things, because, again, by saying yes to more things, you're also going to try new things as kind of a byproduct of that right. So, really, tip number three is to try new things and say yes to more opportunities. Tip number four is to tune in and to start trusting your intuition a bit more.
Speaker 1:Okay, and I have an episode entirely on intuition, if you want to take a look at that as well, and I really dive deep into it. But, honestly, I truly believe that intuition is a gift that we have. Right, it's a whisper of the soul, if you will. Right, whatever you want to call it. I truly believe that our intuition can guide us. Okay, and now, of course, some people have questions about well, how do I know the difference between intuition and fear, or intuition and trauma and all these different things? Okay, that, I think deserves an episode in and of itself, separate from all these, but I'm just going to read a quote to you and I'll give you an example, but I'll read a quote that I find that really highlights intuition, okay, and it says when you don't know how you know, but you know, you know, but you know, you know and you know, you knew and that's all you needed to know. I know that's a bit confusing, but like that rang true for me, so so much right.
Speaker 1:To me, personally, true intuition is when you just feel something and you and you know it to be true. There's no explanation for it, you just know it to be true. Okay, whether that's something is very off and you know you can't really explain it, you just know something's off. Maybe you're dating someone. You're like Hmm, something's really off here. Okay, and you can even ask yourself, like, is that stemming from insecurity or fear or past experiences? And if you really truly don't believe it is, then there's probably something like your, your gut, your intuition is telling you something for a reason. Right and like.
Speaker 1:A personal example of this was like when I bought my house five years ago. I visited about five houses when I bought mine, but when I got into the driveway of my first house, I immediately looked at my realtor and I said this is it? Man? Like, this is my house. I couldn't tell you how I knew, I just knew there was a feeling, there was something right, something that gut instinct that just told me like, this is it. And obviously, I think you know you need to back that up with logical thinking. Right, I just didn't buy that house impulsively. I went to look at the other houses as well, but nothing compared to what I saw previously and nothing felt the way I did when I stepped into that driveway, right, and that's actually the house that I ended up buying.
Speaker 1:So, by trusting your intuition a bit more and there's many different ways that you can do that but, like, I truly believe that sitting with yourself is one of the best ways to do that. Right, like when you've got a decision to make okay, maybe it's a career choice, where you've got two paths that you need to go on, and you're just not sure. Okay, oftentimes we can ask so many other people are we making the right choices? Are we doing the right things? All these different things, right, there's nothing wrong with asking other people's, but, honestly, you've got your answer. Like, I'm a firm believer that we have the answer when you sit with yourself and you're weighing down the options, right, just, and you can do this in a meditative state. You can do this by journaling, but truly tuning into and being like okay, what feels right here? Right, like I have, you know, and again, you do this realistically right, like as an example for career choice.
Speaker 1:You obviously assess the pros and cons of each of these different things, but truly tune into yourself. There's probably something that you gravitate more towards. There's probably something that pulls you more towards a career choice than the other one, and sometimes we just ask other people's opinions to validate something that we already know. But when you just simply sit down with yourself and ask yourself the question like, what do I want? What feels right for me in my future? Okay, I think that your intuition, typically, what comes up first is really what feels right, right in my future. Okay, I think that your intuition, typically, what comes up first is really what feels right. Right, it's something that you can't really explain, but you just know that that's probably the right choice and it's something that you can train over time. So, really learning to trust your intuition. Right, and it could be about multiple different things as well.
Speaker 1:So, as an example, maybe you're debating on getting a tattoo, okay, and you're asking all these different people what's your opinion? Do you like this, do you not like this, et cetera right? Well, what truly matters is do you like it? Okay, like there's nothing wrong with asking people's opinions, but again ask yourself the question are you asking them out of fear of judgment or because you think you know no one will like it right? Or you want to make sure that you make the right decision according to society standards? Right, and what will make you kind of look cool as an example? Okay, or do you actually want the tattoo genuinely for yourself? If you do, and if you actually like whatever it is okay, then listen to that gut feeling. There's something that's telling you that you like it, and the fact that you have to get everyone's approval to make sure it's good means that that's what really resonates with you, in my personal opinion, okay. So, again, like I said, there's nothing wrong with feedback and opinion on things right. But truly, if you start to trust your own decisions, is what I'm trying to get at what feels right for you. If you like the tattoo, okay, does that feel right for you? Yes, if it really feels right for you and you like to do it, it doesn't matter what other people think. Do it for you and trust yourself in your decision.
Speaker 1:Tip number five is that no one has it all figured out. Okay, I don't care what you see on social media, I don't care the most successful people, most people do not have it figured out. Okay, most people are just kind of cruising by and doing as best as they can with the knowledge that they currently have and the knowledge that they have at the time. Okay, most people are not as put together as they seem that they are right, myself included. Okay, like so many people, I've had this conversation with many people and sometimes social media can portray this, this kind of image, this persona that you know. The people we see there, they're so successful, they've got it all together. But if you, you know, listen to some of the honest interviews that these people have, they'll tell you the exact same thing. Some of the richest, most successful people are actually generally not happy and most of them do not have all their stuff together.
Speaker 1:Okay, that's why I keep saying self-discovery is a lifelong journey. It's not a chore, it's not a destination. Getting to know yourself is that you get to know yourself on a you know, on a daily basis, to be quite honest, but you do this for a lifetime right, and people tend to chase happiness and enlightenment or whatever destination that they think will make them happiest. Right, and for me personally, I don't believe in any of these things. Right, because I think, again, I think you're looking for an outcome. Right, where I think this is a continuous journey. So, again, on this journey, you go with this with a sense of curiosity, with a sense of compassion and a sense of wonder. Okay, so really, I just want to highlight that, but no one has it all figured out.
Speaker 1:Last but not least, the final tip that I want to share with everyone today is work with a therapist or a coach. Okay, I find this is so, so, so important, because they can really help you kind of step onto the right path and they can really ask you some deeper questions and kind of like hold a mirror up to yourself and really help you uncover parts of yourselves that you may not have known before. Right Again, is this mandatory? Absolutely not. You can do this by yourself. I started my own discovery journey on my own, doing a lot of different personality tests, reading books, all these different things. But a therapist and a coach can really kind of help you develop a framework right and kind of more like a step-by-step process. So really kind of help you develop a framework, right, and kind of more like a step-by-step process.
Speaker 1:So this is something I do with my clients as well.
Speaker 1:You know, something I do is like I often ask them, like, what are your values? What do you value in your life, right, what's so important to you? And if coaching is something that you're interested in, I do offer one-on-one coaching. This is what I do, and you can find my website and Instagram handle in the podcast description as well if you want to check that out, and please reach out to me if you want more info. I'd love to chat with you.
Speaker 1:But, again, really working with a therapist or a coach can just really help you kind of, you know, set a framework and really guide you on your path and help you on your journey of self-discovery. So, that being said, that's all I've got for you guys on today's episode. If you did like the episode, please feel free to leave a comment or review, share it. It really helps bring awareness to what I'm trying to do, which is really kind of, you know, spread this podcast on a broader scale to really help people just navigate everyday life challenges. So, again, with that being said, I hope you have a good week and I will catch you guys next week. You
