A Mindful Perspective
Welcome to my podcast! I'm Nick Levesque, and I'm on a mission to help you navigate life's challenges with a mindful perspective. Join me every week as I dive deep into the realms of mindset, spirituality, and personal growth. Drawing from my own experiences, I want to provide you with tools, strategies, insights, and inspiring stories that will help you go from where you are now, to where you want to be.
Follow me on Instagram: @nicklevesque_
Coaching: https://www.nickspiritualcoaching.com/
A Mindful Perspective
Navigating the Maze of Overthinking: Strategies for a Calmer Mind
Ever find yourself spiraling into a vortex of 'what ifs' and worst-case scenarios? You're not alone. On our latest episode of A Mindful Perspective, I guide you through the mental prison of overthinking. We examine why our brains are wired to fixate on potential dangers and how this can lead to analysis paralysis, social anxiety, and a whole host of counterproductive behaviors. We will uncover strategies to navigate through this cerebral storm and emerge with a calmer, more focused mind.
As we dissect the mechanics of the 'monkey mind', that incessant chatter that can lead us from one worry to the next, we find that understanding is power. Learn how the evolutionary survival tactics of our ancestors have morphed into modern anxieties, making a simple notification feel like a saber-toothed tiger at our backs. Discover how to distinguish between genuine concerns and protective instincts gone awry, with personal stories illustrating the stark difference. I'll take you through real-life scenarios that reveal the hidden costs of overthinking and how to reclaim the joy of living in the present.
Finally, I share 8 tips to help you transform your relationship with anxiety and overthinking. From setting aside designated 'worry time' to grounding exercises that harness the power of your five senses, each strategy is a step towards serenity. Whether it's the profound pause triggered by asking what your next thought will be or the confidence boost from facing fears head-on, this episode is your roadmap out of the inner chaos. And if the journey gets tough, remember, reaching out for professional help isn't a sign of defeat—it's a testament to your strength. Join me, and let's turn the tide on overthinking together.
Hello everyone and welcome to A Mindful Perspective. I'm your host, nick Lavec, certified Spiritual Life Coach, and I'm here to share insights into my journey of mindfulness and self-discovery. Each week, we'll explore mindset, spirituality and personal growth to help you navigate life's challenges, with practical strategies and inspiring stories. Let's dive in. Hello everyone, and welcome to another episode of A Mindful Perspective. In today's episode, I want us to talk about overthinking, because I think it's something that's very common and it's something that a lot of us struggle with, right? So I've noticed this in myself personally, from people I've talked to and from clients that I've worked with as well, right? So, again, we're going to be talking about overthinking and eight tips on how to work through overthinking. Now, the reason I really want to talk about overthinking today is because I think it's such an important thing that everyone goes through, right, some more than others, some on a daily basis, some in specific circumstances, as an example. But overthinking can become a very vicious and destructive cycle that impacts our mental health, and overthinking is something that can kind of display itself in a variety of different aspects in our lives. Right, overthinking can also lead to a lot of anxiety, okay, can lead to catastrophizing. So, really kind of imagining the worst case scenario in so many different things, right, overthinking can also kind of keep us stuck in fear, right, can keep us frozen, and that can also stop us from pursuing our dreams and really living our life's purpose. And the thing about overthinking is there are a lot of different types of overthinking, okay, but some more common patterns. As an example would be rumination about the past, where we're constantly thinking about something that's happened in the past. It could also be rumination or worry about the future, where we're kind of projecting into the future and really worrying about a specific outcome or what can happen. As an example, okay, it could be overanalyzing decisions, where we're really stuck overthinking on a specific decision and we just we don't know what to do, right, and that can also lead us into a paralysis by analysis, where we're just kind of analyzing every possible scenario and we cannot get to anything. So it really leads in a loop of overthinking. Okay, it could also be things like mind reading, where you're with your partner and you're kind of just mind reading, right, and then you're overthinking, thinking about what they might be thinking as an example, okay, so lots of thinking here, but I hope that kind of paints the picture, but it could also be social anxiety as well, right, where we're kind of going into a setting and we're so socially anxious that it leads us to overthinking. Okay, like, how many people will there be? Is it a huge event? Will these people like me?
Speaker 1:Okay, so this is what I mean by overthinking can be really a destructive pattern in so many different aspects of our lives and, as I just mentioned, there are so many different things that can cause us to overthink. Right, it can be we're anxious about something. It could be thoughts about the past, et cetera. But one thing I've noticed personally in myself, with people I've worked with and just people I've talked to in general, is oftentimes it's something that we associate with the future, right, so we kind of something happens and we project into the future, and then we start thinking about all these outcomes, right, and a reason this causes us to be so anxious is because we don't have control over it. We don't know what is going to happen. Okay, and because we don't know what's going to happen, because we don't know the outcome 100%, that can lead us to overthink and start really overanalyzing decisions, scenarios or situations. Right, and then that can also lead to what I was saying catastrophizing is we then start to really kind of think about the worst case scenarios, right, and we'll talk about a few examples of these in a second. But this is just what I've noticed personally in a lot of people is we project into the future, we get so worried about something and we get stuck in a loop, and that can be very destructive and detrimental, depending on what it is that we're overthinking about, because it can really cause us to be very anxious, and then it gets hard to get out of that loop. However, the truth of the matter is, oftentimes, what we're so anxious about, what we're so worried about and what causes us to overthink, will never actually happen. Okay, so there are studies that show psychological studies that show that 85% of what we worry about will actually never happen, and even oftentimes, if it does happen, it's not even nearly as bad as you thought it would be. And I just wanted to share a personal scenario that happened to me a few years ago that really kind of highlights this.
Speaker 1:Well, so I remember a few years ago, I got an email at work from my boss both of my managers, actually. They set up a quick meeting with me right. So I've got this on the Monday morning and they scheduled the meeting for Wednesday. So all the meeting said literally, was 30 minute meeting and quick chat. Right, they just want to have the quick chat. There's nothing else in the meeting.
Speaker 1:So immediately I started to get a bit worried. I remember I started to get anxious, I started to get like heated up a bit. I was just like, oh my goodness, like did I do something wrong? And then immediately my mind went nuts. I started projecting into both the past and the future. Right, so I was thinking about, okay, like, did I do anything recently wrong? Right, did I screw up a project? Did I do anything wrong? And then I was like, no, I don't think so. I think this has been going well at work. I really don't think anything is going wrong.
Speaker 1:And then I immediately jumped into the future. Right, I project it into the future. And I started thinking about all the worst case scenarios. I was really catastrophizing here, like I was talking about so worried about all the possible scenarios that could have happened. What if I get fired? What if I get demoted? What? What if I did something absolutely wrong and whatever? Right, like all these different scenarios. But I didn't actually take a moment to think about perhaps the potential of a positive outcome to that as well, because I was so nervous.
Speaker 1:So again, for the next two days I was nervous, I was worried, I was overthinking, I couldn't focus at work and all these different things, right, I know this is something that rings true with a lot of people as well, from other people I've talked to about. So fast forward to the meeting on Wednesday morning, we get into the meeting and they're like, hey, maybe we just want to talk with you. Turns out I got promoted, right. So immediately all the anxiety kind of just you know, the weight off my shoulders went down and just the anxiety kind of flew away, right. So after the meeting I was like what was I so worried about for the past two days?
Speaker 1:So this is what I literally mean by sometimes 85% of the things that we worry about never actually happened, and oftentimes things happen in a better circumstance than we actually anticipate that it will. And that taught me two things. This one is, of course, a lot of times what we think will happen will not happen. But secondly is oftentimes we overthink so much of the negative but we don't actually take a moment to consider. You know, could there be a positive outcome to this as well, right? What if I do get promoted? What if, you know, I did something very well and my bosses want to commend me on it as an example, right? So this was a really big shift for me in my overthinking, because a lot of the times we see overthinking as negative. Right, because oftentimes we'll worry about different things, but I don't think we'd say the same if we were overthinking. Positive things is what I'm trying to get to, right? So oftentimes, this is just something that I've kind of learned along the ways. Like, depending on the scenario or circumstances that are causing you to overthink, could there also be a positive outcome to that as well? Right?
Speaker 1:But with that being said, there are many different things that can cause us to overthink. Okay, it could be that we get a call from our spouse saying hey, can we discuss something when we get home? Right, I really need to talk to you about something, right? Sometimes our mind can really start thinking like, oh, my goodness, is she going to dump me? Are we going to get into a fight? Did I do something wrong? All these different things.
Speaker 1:It could be thinking about something that we did or something that we shouldn't have done. So, as an example, it could be something Uh, maybe we went on a date. Okay, maybe we went on a date with someone, we said something and perhaps we think the individual didn't really take that well, and then, after our date, we start overthinking like, oh, my goodness, I should not have said that, I should not have done those things, et cetera. And then we start overthinking Well, what if they're not interested? You know, what if they don't want a second date? All these different things, right. And, like the Buddha said, our mind is really like a monkey mind, right. So it jumps around just as a monkey would swing from one branch to the other. As an example, our mind does the same thing, so it latches on to one thing, jumps to the next, really goes everywhere, right. And a beautiful quote that I've shared many times on the podcast from Robin Sharma is the mind is a wonderful servant, but a terrible master. Okay, so this is why I'm saying it's it's important to start noticing when we overthink and it's important to start noticing what we overthink about as well. Okay, I think those are very important factors and we'll talk about this a bit later. But another thing I want to highlight about overthinking is the following Overthinking oftentimes can be a defense mechanism, right, overthinking can be a way that we are coping with something as well.
Speaker 1:Okay, oftentimes that we try to anticipate every possible outcome to protect ourselves from harm or failure. Right, it could be that we're afraid about something, we're unsure about a decision, we're insecure about something. We're overthinking about something specifically because we want to protect ourselves, right, so oftentimes the thing is we do this unconsciously, right, we overthink unconsciously. And a thing about overthinking and I'll talk about this later as well as overthinking for most of us is a habit. We're often not even aware that we are overthinking, okay, and the problem sometimes can become is, when we start overthinking about one thing, we can also start overthinking about multiple different aspects of our lives, right, but overthinking, okay, is a natural impulse when our body feels a threat.
Speaker 1:Okay, the only problem in our generation nowadays with technology as much as I love it, right Is, if you look at our ancestors, an example right, they had a valid, a genuinely valid reason to overthink If they were thinking about potential harm in their surrounding areas. Right, they had to look out for saber tooth, tigers or you know all these different circumstances, right? All these different actual, real threats, not just potential or imagined threats, right, like we overthink about, but real threats. But in today's generation, in our society, our threats are no longer saber tooth tigers but they're literally just texts and email messages, if you really think about it. Okay, so if we take my example that I mentioned about my bosses earlier, right, let's just kind of analyze that situation for a second. I got an email, unsure about what it was. They just wanted to meet with me.
Speaker 1:Immediately, my body sensed the threat. My body literally went into fight or flight mode, right, literally. My anxiety popped up. My body was heating up, I was starting to sweat right Like in my palms and just like really overthinking, and my body was actually triggered into a fight or flight state. Right, but there was no actual threat. It was an imagined, but it's something that I imagined myself. I projected into the future, I thought about all these different scenarios from the past and the future and I triggered the alarm in my body, right, like and this is what, personally, I think you know anxiety is. Anxiety is our body's alarm system, it really is right, but our alarm is triggered by not actual threats, but by imagined threats, such as text messages and emails. An example, right? So this is what I mean by overthinking, honestly is a natural impulse when our body feels a threat.
Speaker 1:Okay, so not only can overthinking cause us to go into a fight or flight response. Our overthinking can also lead us into a free state, which is when we procrastinate or just can't get ourselves to do anything. We're stuck, we have no energy and a lot of times, procrastination right, a lot of people say, like, oh, you're so lazy. Actually, you're not lazy. If your body is stuck in a free state because you're overthinking about something, that is a very, very valid response. Your body, again, is trying to protect you, it's anticipating a threat and it's trying to keep you safe by not moving. Okay, because the thing that we have to remember about our minds is that our mind is designed to keep us alive. Overthinking keeps us in the familiar and the safety of the lives that we have right now. So when we're trying to step out of our comfort zone, right, our mind can see that as a threat. Be like no, no, like what are you doing? Right, it's really trying to protect us.
Speaker 1:Again, depending on certain circumstances or potential outcomes, or maybe things that's happened in our past, okay, and I remember personally and I've mentioned this before but, like, before I started my coaching, I had to make a post on Facebook to get practice clients and all these things, and I procrastinated for months, okay, because I was overthinking about it. I was overthinking it to the point where my body just shut down, it went into free state. I was procrastinating, I wasn't doing anything, not because I didn't want to. It's honestly because I was so afraid of the potential outcomes that could happen, right, like, what if I fail? What if my business fails? What if no one wants to work with me as an example, right. So I hope that this paints a better picture on what overthinking is Okay and, in my personal opinion, I don't think that overthinking is always a bad thing.
Speaker 1:Okay, sometimes we do need to overthink about certain things, right. Perhaps we're really trying to problem solve something at work and we just can't figure it out, so we start kind of overthinking about it, not in a bad way, but in a constructive problem solving way, okay. But also, imagine if we never overthought about anything, right. Imagine if our body's alarm system anxiety, as an example would never warn us about anything never cause us to overthink about anything. I don't think that would be good as well, because, again, when we're overthinking this is really what I want you to take from this episode, if anything else is when we're overthinking about something, our body is trying to tell us something. It's triggering anxiety. We just need to understand what it is. That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:Anxiety, to me personally, anxiety is not something you need to get rid of, even overthinking as well. Right, it's not something you need to get rid of. It's something you need to work with and learn to understand how it affects you personally. Right, because, again, everyone is triggered by different things. But once we can start understanding why we overthink or we're anxious about something, I think that's really the key. Right, I say this a lot, but curiosity is really the key to getting a better understanding of ourselves and what triggers us.
Speaker 1:Okay, but again, I just want to reiterate this overthinking isn't always a bad thing. Okay, because, let's say, you have reason to believe that your partner is cheating on you. Okay, I think that's a very valid reason to be overthinking, and your body is going to try to protect you from getting hurt. Okay. Now, again, I just want to really emphasize here. I'm not just talking about imagining potential scenarios that your partner is cheating on, Right. I'm talking about if something happened where you have a very real valid concern. Maybe your friend told you something, maybe your friend showed you a text message or sent you something that is indicating that they're potentially unfaithful as an example, right, that's a very valid reason to overthink. So, again, this is just what I want to explain with the overthinking thing.
Speaker 1:Obviously, yes, it can be vicious, destructive, if we really let it do its thing, but it can also be used as a tool to kind of problem solve and honestly, get to know ourselves a bit better as well. Okay, so now let's dive into some tips and tricks on how to work with overthinking. So first tip that I want to share with everyone today is very self-explanatory, but honestly, it's to accept that you are overthinking and stop beating yourself up for it. Okay, now, of course, I'm very well aware that this is much easier said than done. However, a lot of times when we're overthinking, we can get kind of into this guilt and shame trap that we are overthinking, so we're overthinking about our overthinking, which then leads to more overthinking and just not good, right, I think we understand that. So, again, so just really accept that you are overthinking and stop beating yourself up over it, right, it's not going to to help you do anything other than put you into a destructive cycle of overthinking.
Speaker 1:Okay, because, again, like we talked about earlier, okay, our minds try to keep us safe, right, so oftentimes it will catastrophize. It will start creating stories, it will start jumping into worst case scenarios, right, or just kind of developing these narratives, okay, but the thing is is we don't have to buy into everything that we think. Okay, thoughts are real, but they aren't necessarily true. Okay, certainty is not an indication of truth. Just because our mind is playing tricks on us and is certain about something does not make it real, okay, so, honestly, what I'm saying is you do not have to believe everything that you think. Our mind likes to play tricks on us, our minds like to keep us safe, but just because we're thinking about something or jumping into these possible scenarios, most of the times they're not even true at all. Right, most of the times, like I said earlier before, we worry about things that will never, ever happen, okay, so, again, don't buy into everything that you think.
Speaker 1:Tip number two is something I talk about all the time. It's to become aware. Right, it's self-awareness, because, again, you cannot change what you are not aware of. Okay, and the thing about overthinking that I think a lot of people don't consider is that overthinking is a habit. It's a habit that we might not be aware of. Okay, Because, again, 95% of our lives are run subconsciously and only 5% of our lives are run consciously.
Speaker 1:When we start overthinking about multiple different things in our lives, over time this becomes a habit, okay, and then this happens on autopilot, which just essentially means it happens on its own, we're not even aware. So it's very important to be able to start becoming aware of when we are overthinking. So a great way to do this, honestly, is just to keep track of everything, okay, so this is very hard at first. By the way, this is very hard to keep track because you might forget because, again, we live so much of our lives on autopilot. But if you can just keep a small notebook with you and just start keep track of everything so, as an example, you start to overthink, you catch yourself oh my goodness, I'm overthinking Then you can really start just writing it down and keeping track of it.
Speaker 1:So you know what caused me to overthink? Okay, was there a situation that triggered me? Was there something in my environment that caused me to overthink? Was it a text message or an email at work that caused me to overthink? Okay, when you start to be able to write that down and keep track of it right, if you can do this for a few weeks or a month or however long you want, you might start to notice patterns on your overthinking. You might start to notice situations that cause you to overthink more than others, whether that's at work, whether that's in your relationship, and then you can kind of start to work through that.
Speaker 1:Okay, but really, I think writing it out, not typing it out by the way, studies have shown that if you can write stuff out, it's much, much better. But putting your thoughts from head to paper, I think it's a great way to also create distance from your thoughts, and then you can really start to notice that and a lot of times, when we start to write things down, you're like, hmm, okay, like you can also challenge your thoughts as well, but be like, hmm, okay, was that even necessary for me to be worried about? Was that even a genuine, valid concern? Right, is this absolutely true, is that a fact? And by keeping track of these things, you'll become more aware of when you are in that pattern as well.
Speaker 1:And another thing that I really wanted to mention here, which I find is so, so, so important is I've mentioned this many times on the podcast, but one of my favorite quotes about Eckhart Tolle is rather than being your thoughts and emotions, be the awareness behind it. We are not our thoughts. Okay, our mind is designed to think. Our mind is a thinking thing, if you will. Right, it's designed to think, but we are not our minds, and we need to start understanding that. We truly need to start understanding that we can create distance from our thoughts and ourselves. Okay, the mind is a tool, it's designed to think, but that's really all it is. We can use it to our advantage, but it can also run our lives.
Speaker 1:Okay, but the moment that we can start creating distance and this is why I'm saying sometimes it's so good to journal and write things out is because when you are putting thoughts to paper in therapy this is called cognitive diffusion, right, because essentially, you are creating distance from your thoughts, right, you're creating distance from what's in your head. You're putting it out all on paper. So, when you're creating that distance, it can help you realize that, okay, first and foremost, not everything I'm thinking is true, but, secondly, I am not my thoughts right, because if you really think about this for a moment, the fact that you're thinking right now, or the fact that I'm thinking right now, I'm aware that I'm thinking. Okay. So if I'm aware that I'm thinking, that means that I'm not the quote unquote thinker. Okay, I'm the one who is able to observe my thinking. So, once we're able to start understanding that concept and create that distance right, once we start to really understand and start to notice our thoughts as just thoughts right, they're just kind of like clouds in the sky, right, they're just coming and going, that's really all they are. We are the ones able to observe our thoughts, and this is what Eckhart is saying in his quote rather than being the thoughts and emotions be the awareness behind them, we are the awareness able to objectively Create distance and look at our thoughts, okay. So this is why it's so important to stop identifying ourselves with our mind, because we really aren't our mind Okay, and sometimes what can happen is, with anxiety and all these different things is we start to label ourselves as these things, right.
Speaker 1:So we say, oh, I am so anxious, I'm an anxious person or I'm an overthinker, okay, no, no, no. Now what's happening is you're labeling yourself as an anxious person or you're labeling yourself as an overthinker, and then that can become a problem, because if you start identifying yourself as that, you are making that part of your identity. But that's not who you are. Okay, that's a very important thing to understand is that's not who you are. So something I say often is if ever you're feeling very anxious or you know, you're someone who has a lot of anxiety, as an example, don't say I'm an anxious person or I'm anxious or all these different things. Just say a part of me feels anxious, okay. Or part of me feels sad or angry or whatever, right, we are not the emotions, we are the awareness behind the emotions. Emotions serve us to guide our lives. An example right, they're very good guides. They help us understand why we're feeling a certain way, what is causing us to feel that certain way, but we are not our emotions. Once we stop identifying ourselves with our mind and our emotions and create that distance, I think that sets us up for a significant level of freedom. Okay. So, honestly, just become aware that you are overthinking and realize that for a lot of us, it is a habit that we need to end up becoming more aware of.
Speaker 1:Tip number three is to schedule worry time. Okay, and this is a powerful practice because, again, a lot of times we are worried about something that may never happen. Or, you know, maybe we actually generally have a valid concern. Right, we're worried about something. It's a genuine thing. We don't know what the outcome will be, which causes us more anxiety and all these different things. But what can happen is the thing that we're worried about so much will impact the entirety of our day, or even a week, or even it could be a few weeks. Right, it really depends on what the circumstance in the situation is.
Speaker 1:But instead of letting it ruin your entire day or entire week, I think it's very important to plan a time each day or whenever you feel is best needed for you. Okay, and then you schedule that worry time. Maybe it's 15, 30 minutes, and then you hash it out, right? So, let's say, you're worried about your test next week, as an example, right, and you've been worrying about this exam because it's so huge, right? Such a huge exam. You've been worried about it for weeks, it's coming up in a few weeks and you know it's driving you crazy. Well, instead of letting it ruin your entire day and your entire week, set a time and worry about it. Okay, what are the things that you can do to help you not feel as anxious? Right? Do you need to study more? Do you need to get a tutor? Do you need to get a study buddy? Right, there can be so many different things, okay, so many different things that you can do, but if you actually schedule that time to sit down and worry about it, you won't have to worry about it for the rest of the day. So I just find that's a very, very powerful practice that we can do. And I just wanted to share two other quick tools that I found to be very beneficial, and you can use these in the scheduled worry sessions if you'd like, or you can honestly just use these in any aspect of your life, okay, so, the first one being the six back method.
Speaker 1:Okay, so, oftentimes, when we're worried about something, we think about all the outcomes that can happen, right, so we project into the future, we think about all these different outcomes that would happen, but we don't really take the time to consider what positive outcomes there could be. Okay, so let's say that you've been dating someone for a bit and now, all of a sudden, they're not messaging you. And now you're worried. You're like okay, like, did I do something wrong? Did I say something wrong? Are they perhaps not interested? Automatically, our mind will start assuming all these different things. Right? Instead of assuming all these different things, what we can use is what I would just refer to as the six pack method. So instead of worrying about all the negative outcomes, we can switch that to six positive outcomes.
Speaker 1:All right, to kind of really shift the gear here. As an example Okay, so we could say something like well, maybe they're just busy, right. Maybe they're at work and they just don't have time to talk. Maybe they're visiting their family or their relatives. Maybe they are doing something else Right. So this here can be applied to any different scenario in life, but it just challenges your normal kind of negative. Jump to a conclusion, as an example Right, so instead of saying, oh, my goodness, they're not interested or not that Well, perhaps they're actually very interested, but they're just very busy. Maybe their phone died, right. Maybe they're stuck somewhere and they just don't have access to anything. There are so many different circumstances that can happen, right? So this is just the first method that I want to say, and the other thing is just a very quick question is will this matter in five years? Okay, so many things that we worry about won't even matter in a week from now, let alone five years. Right? So if it really doesn't matter in five years from now, is it really worth spending so much time and effort on? Right? So these are just again two smaller tools that I use sometimes to kind of help shift a perspective and kind of ground myself as well.
Speaker 1:Tip number four is to ask what and not why. Okay, so a lot of people might be like, hmm, okay, well, what's, what's the difference? Okay, so there are multiple studies shown that a lot of people who thought they were very self-aware and very introspective they are. But a lot of times, when we ask the question why, the question why can actually lead to feelings of like shame and guilt. And now I'm going to give my personal opinion on this not in every circumstance and really depends on what we're using it for.
Speaker 1:Okay, but let's say we say something like why didn't I get that promotion, or you know, why is this happening to me and all these things? Right, sometimes the why can leave us kind of feeling almost like a victim of this situation or can keep us in kind of a negative thing. Right, so, as an example, why did I get that promotion? Then maybe you start thinking well, you know, maybe I'm not good enough for maybe this or that. Right, so instead of saying why I didn't get that promotion, you could say something along the lines of what can I learn from this experience? Right, what can I improve? So why can kind of keep us stuck sometimes, okay, but what can really lead to more of a problem solving mindset? So sometimes the why questions can draw us through our limitations, but the what questions can help us see our potential. Sometimes why questions can really stir up negative emotions. The what questions can really keep us curious, okay. The why questions can sometimes not all, not always I just want to kind of reiterate that Okay. The why questions can sometimes trap us in our past, but the what questions can help us build a better future. So this is what I mean Sometimes, if you're trying to figure something out and you're always asking the question why this, why this? Why is that happening to me, right? Instead of saying, like, why is this happening to me? Well, what is this trying to teach me, right? So we're just kind of switching that narrative a bit and it allows us. It allows us to go, Okay, into a more introspective state, coming from a sense of compassion and curiosity, as opposed to something that is stirring up perhaps past experiences or negative emotions that can lead us into feelings of shame or guilt.
Speaker 1:Tip number five is mindfulness and meditation. Okay, so this could be so many different things, there are so many different mindfulness and meditation practices, but, honestly, the whole point is to be present, okay, and when I'm talking about being present here, okay, I'm not talking about bypassing anything. If there's something that generally needs to be worried about and addressed, and of course, we can definitely do that, but oftentimes our mind is running false narratives and scenarios. That will never happen in this example, right? So if we can train ourselves to be a bit more present in our lives, first and foremost, it's just a great feeling to be present in our lives, so that we're not constantly on autopilot and we're actually able to live our life and enjoy our life, right? I think that's very kind of self-explanatory. But secondly as well is that if we are more present, then we're not constantly stuck overthinking about something, right? Or if we are overthinking about something, we can bring ourselves back and then try to look at the problem from a more of a solution-oriented mindset than to be kind of a victim of the overthinking and then let that run our lives as an example. Okay, so this is what I mean by different practices of mindfulness and meditation. There are so many different.
Speaker 1:I'm not going to cover all these right now, but I did want to give kind of two quick tips that can really help if you're stuck overthinking about something, to kind of bring you back. Okay. So the first one is, honestly, simply to just take a few deep breaths. And, honestly, if you can just try to take a few deep breaths to calm yourself a bit, I think that's a very powerful tool. Our breath is such a powerful tool that we have at our disposal at any time. So I would definitely recommend to try taking a few deep breaths just to ground yourself, so that you can gain a bit more control over your body. Okay, but honestly, sometimes when we're overthinking about something, the worst thing we can do is fight the mind with the mind. Okay, we actually have to get back into our body, okay, to really help kind of just put things into balance, if that makes sense. So taking a few deep breaths can definitely help with that.
Speaker 1:The other tool that I want to kind of mention here is the five senses, right. So this is a very simple grounding exercise to kind of calm anxiety or maybe if you're overthinking. But honestly, it's first and foremost identifying five things that you can see for, things that you can touch, three things that you can hear, two things that you can smell and then one thing that you can taste. Okay. So if you're taking like, let's say, as an example that you're really stuck into a pattern of overthinking, you kind of catch yourself and you, you know you can't stop overthinking. Just, you can try to do these exercises, or you can try to first and foremost take a few deep breaths and then, if you want to try the other method, you can. This is something I've personally done myself and I found to be very beneficial, right, because, again, if you're trying to think about five things you're seeing for things, etc. Okay, that will make you present and you know, it will kind of interrupt that pattern of overthinking. It'll make you feel a bit better as well.
Speaker 1:And I wanted to throw in a bonus little practice here that I found has really helped me personally, and again, this might not work for everyone, but I thought I'd throw it in anyway. So this is a practice that I learned from Eckhart Tolle and essentially, when you're stuck in overthinking or you're stuck, you're anxious, you're, you know you're ruminating about something, if you can try to think about this, you can ask yourself the question what will my next thought be? I know this sounds very basic and very simplistic, but what I've noticed for myself is that when I ask myself that question, it kind of just interrupts my thinking pattern and then it really just creates this sense of spaciousness for a few moments, right. And then after that, like it's like it can help me just take a few deep breaths and just kind of center and ground myself, right. So literally just ask yourself what will my next thought be? And what I've noticed is I can't actually think about my next thought. So it kind of really just interrupts my pattern, right. So try that out for yourself, and I'd be curious to know how that works for you If you ever do try that.
Speaker 1:Tip number six is to let go of perfectionism and control. Okay. So I know that this is much easier said than done, but the truth is not everything needs to be perfect, okay, and we cannot control everything. So once we start to really understand that not everything does need to be perfect and that perfectionism is often rooted in fear Okay, because obviously we want to make sure it's ready, it's 100% okay, that everyone will like it, that no one will judge us for it, all these different things Right? So oftentimes we have these perfectionism tendencies because we want it to be perfect and you know we don't want to get judged for right. So there's a lot of fear that underlies that, that tendency as an example, and obviously is that we cannot control everything, right. So it's important to try to focus on the things that we can control. So, again, really to try to minimize or let go of those perfectionism and controlling tendencies. Tip number seven is to take action and do it Okay.
Speaker 1:I truly believe that, you know, getting out of our comfort zone is a great way to prove to ourselves that we can do the things Right, and I think that's a great way to minimize our overthinking, because then what we'll be worried about next time. We'll be like you know what, I've done this before, I can do it again, type of thing. This will also help you build confidence. It helps you kind of step out of your comfort zone a little bit, and you know your comfort zone. You don't need to take the huge asleep out of your comfort zone. You can start with small steps. Right, small steps are big wins, in my personal opinion. Okay. And again, it really helps you to build that confidence.
Speaker 1:But I'm also a firm believer that if you cannot stop thinking about something, that means that you really do want to do it. So, yes, it might not turn out exactly how you want it, but it also could turn out better than you imagine, right? So just ask yourself the question what if it turned out better than I even imagined? Right, maybe you're going to post that post going to change lives, you're going to help people. Maybe you want to do as well, but then you can look at that as an opportunity, right, okay, what can I improve here? But again, I think that if you cannot stop thinking about it, there's a part of you that really wants to do it. So just take action and do it.
Speaker 1:And the final tip that I want to share with everyone today is, honestly, to seek help. Okay, if you are someone that cannot stop overthinking to the point where it's detrimental to your health, your mental health and everything in between, then I think it's very important that you do seek professional help, whether that's a coach, a therapist, or even if you just want to talk to someone about a friend, a family member, whatever kind of venue that you want to explore. But, honestly, asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness, right? So, honestly, I'm just I'm a very big advocate for that. I have a therapist myself, right? Even though I'm a coach, and if it is something that you do want help on, it's something that I help my clients with as well.
Speaker 1:So, if that's something that you'd be interested in, I've got all the information in my podcast description, my website, my Instagram there. If it's something that you genuinely want help with, you can reach out to me. I'd love to talk to you and we can kind of figure out what's going on in your life right now. But, honestly, seriously, I generally mean this If it's something that's really impacting your life, seek help. So, that being said. That's all I've got for you guys on today's episode. If you did like the episode, please feel free to leave a comment or review, share it. It really helps bring awareness to what I'm trying to do, which is really kind of you know, spread this podcast on a broader scale to really help people just navigate everyday life challenges. So again, with that being said, I hope you have a good week and I will catch you guys next week.
