A Mindful Perspective
Welcome to my podcast! I'm Nick Levesque, and I'm on a mission to help you navigate life's challenges with a mindful perspective. Join me every week as I dive deep into the realms of mindset, spirituality, and personal growth. Drawing from my own experiences, I want to provide you with tools, strategies, insights, and inspiring stories that will help you go from where you are now, to where you want to be.
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A Mindful Perspective
7 Signs That You're Healing
Ever felt like you were meticulously peeling back the layers of an onion, only to find more layers beneath? That's the essence of our healing journey, and in my latest podcast episode, I invite you to join me on an exploration of the signs that indicate we're on the right track. We'll learn to celebrate every victory, recognize the resilience we're building, and understand that the path to healing is as intricate and layered as we are. It's a quest filled with self-discovery, where even the darkest emotions have their place in the light of growth.
Curiosity didn't just kill the cat; it led it to a treasure trove of self-discovery and fulfillment. This episode dives into the depths of our 'shadow self,' and I'll guide you through the process of turning what we've buried—talents, dreams, passions—into the very tools we need to craft a life of purpose and friendship with our inner being. We'll walk in the footsteps of giants like Einstein, using their wisdom to fuel our transformation from feeling lost to finding our unique spark that's been waiting to ignite.
As much as this journey is one of solitude and introspection, it's also about the strength found in reaching out. I'll dismantle the myths that shroud the act of asking for help, affirming that it's a courageous step forward—not a sign of weakness. Sharing this experience with you isn't just about airing my thoughts; it's about fostering a community where we can all grow and support each other. So tune in, share your insights, and let's build a path of healing and self-discovery together.
Hello everyone and welcome to A Mindful Perspective. I'm your host, nick Lavec, certified Spiritual Life Coach, and I'm here to share insights into my journey of mindfulness and self-discovery. Each week, we'll explore mindset, spirituality and personal growth to help you navigate life's challenges, with practical strategies and inspiring stories. Let's dive in. Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of A Mindful Perspective. In today's episode, I want us to talk about seven signs that show that we're healing, and the reason I want to talk about these things is because on our path and on our own journeys, I feel like sometimes we can forget just how much progress we're making and the obstacles that we've overcome. So we'll be diving right into talking a bit more about the healing journey and a personal perspective on this than, of course, seven signs that show that we're healing. Now, to start this off, I want to talk about healing more specifically, because I think sometimes healing can often be associated with a destination, like somewhere that we need to get to, and in my personal opinion, healing is never a destination. It's not somewhere that we arrive as an example, but it is a way of life, because the thing with healing is it's not linear, it's not a straight line going up right, even though you're on your healing journey, and that, to me, is really what healing is it's a journey, right? So, even if you're on your healing journey, you will have some good days and some bad days, right, but like every step forward, right, no matter how small, to me personally is a victory that is worth celebrating, because healing takes time, okay, and also, in my personal opinion, I think that healing does take time and there are certain things that time can help with, but also it's really what you do with that time right, to help you on your healing journey. So, as an example, if you've just suffered a breakup, okay, you and your partner have broken up, you've been together for multiple years and that's something that you need to heal, right, it's something that can take a long time and for many people it can take years to actually fully heal, okay. So, in those circumstances, obviously you know time can help, yes, but it's also what you can do with that time, right. So, as an example, if you start by actually acknowledging what you're feeling and going through the grieving process, right, because I talk about this a lot, but a breakup is also considered a loss, right, which needs to be grieved, okay, and also, maybe to really help with the breakup and you, going through the breakup, you start doing things that you really want to do. As an example right, maybe you join a yoga class, maybe you join a gym okay, to get yourself kind of out of the house first and foremost and just really into your body, okay, and again, we can't fight the mind with the mind, and the body is so important to integrate into our healing process, right. Movement helps so much and just makes us feel better, gives us those endorphins and all these different things, right. So this is what I mean by healing takes time, absolutely okay, but also what you do with that time can also significantly help you on your own journey.
Speaker 1:However, with that being said, I also want to put emphasis on what I was saying by it's not a destination or somewhere that you need to get to as an example, right, because there are two things here that I want to share. First and foremost is that at a certain point in our lives, we will face an obstacle that we have not faced before. So maybe, as an example, something happens that requires you to kind of heal a different part of yourself that you've never healed before, right, or something happens in your life, an external circumstance that happens, unfortunately what you need to heal? Okay, so, maybe, perhaps that would be the loss of a pet? Okay, so maybe you've lost your pet. That is a different thing that you perhaps have never gone through, which will require healing, right, and then you'll know that losing someone or a pet, or whatever that may be, takes time, and takes time to heal as well, right? So this is what I mean by yes, perhaps we'll have worked through something at a certain point of our lives, but there are also other things that will happen that will require us to heal, okay. But I do also believe that, because of these difficult challenges and sometimes unexpected circumstances, it can better equip us to handle uncertainties in our future as well, right. And then, as we progress through our journey, we learn different tools and modalities to help us as well, right, and I think a combination of these really serve as tools and we get better equipped to handle life's uncertainties.
Speaker 1:And the second thing that I want to share here as well is something that my therapist shared with me that I found fascinating. It was a great analogy, and she said human beings are like onions. Right, we have layers upon layers, and sometimes, when we think we feel something, we might shed a layer and then there's something underneath that as well. So, as an example, if you're someone that suffered, you know, extreme trauma in your childhood, maybe it's something that's going to come up later on in your life, right? Maybe you're going to be doing work with your therapist or you know, in a meditation session somewhere, and then something happens. You get a trigger of some sort, and then you kind of uncover this new layer about yourself that maybe you weren't aware of before, maybe it was suppressed, maybe it was repressed unconsciously. As an example, right, but this is what I mean Human beings are complex beings and maybe you've worked through one part of yourself, but there may be another part of yourself that's still holding a lot of anger or shame or sadness for an entirely different aspect of your life or something else that happened perhaps in childhood or even your adulthood, as an example.
Speaker 1:And the reason I really want to share this with everyone today is because I think a lot of people, as they're doing the work and trying these different things, sometimes people can get very disappointed in their healing journey. Okay, and personally, this is what happened to me as well. Right, I was trying different things, I was doing different things and then I noticed that, you know, I wasn't healing as fast as I wanted to, as an example, right. Or I thought I was over something and then, all of a sudden, years later, I'm thinking about this thing again, and this is what I mean by the layers. Okay, human beings are complex creatures and sometimes like an onion. Okay, we're working through something and as we're working through something, we're peeling back layers and we're discovering something else underneath. And it's not until we actually deal with what is at the root of that onion, as an example, that we can actually fully heal that part of ourselves.
Speaker 1:Okay, because I do think that at a certain point, we can heal a certain part of ourselves, right. So, let's say, we go through the breakup and you know, it's very devastating at first, but I think that at a certain point we can definitely fully heal from that and let that go, so it's not taking control over our lives, okay. Or it could be something that happened in childhood, as an example, where you know it really affected us for a long time, but now working with the right coach or therapist, or trying a different healing modality, perhaps meditation, perhaps it's. You know, whatever that may be for you, you can finally get to the root cause of what you're still holding on to and then you're able to heal from that. Okay, and then, as we progress through our healing journey and heal these different parts of ourselves that may have been repressed or suppressed or we just haven't brought to light as an example, I think that can then increase our baseline of happiness. Okay, this is what I mean. Right, we'll eventually get to a point where, on the day to day, we're much happier than we were before. But it doesn't mean that we won't have good days or bad days, and it doesn't mean that there are other things in life, right, external circumstances that we can't control, that will happen, okay. That will require us to heal again. Okay, it could be something like we talked about before, where you know it could be the loss of a pet or something that we haven't faced yet that we will require to heal from. Okay, so just because we kind of get that baseline of happiness a little higher than it was before does not mean that we are free from healing forever.
Speaker 1:Okay, and this is why, personally, there are some spiritual teachers and books and all these different things that I don't personally agree with is because, first and foremost, I think they oversimplify things and secondly, I think they can, quote unquote, make these false promises okay. And what I mean by oversimplifies there are things that they talk about letting go, and you know, just letting go. I'm a firm believer in letting go in certain different things. But there are some things that, in order for us to let go of, we need to grieve as an example, right. We need to go through the healing process. There are certain things that we cannot just let go of, right. You cannot tell the person who's been sexually abused as a child multiple times to just let go of that as an example, right. That does not work.
Speaker 1:And then we have other terms, like enlightenment, where, when we, you know, do these different practices and such, we can reach a state of enlightenment where kind of nothing bothers us anymore and we're, you know, we're really at the peak of our experience or our existence, right. And I think the problem with this is that sometimes people end up chasing this, right. They kind of spend their lives chasing this perhaps feeling of, you know, if I get to this state of enlightenment, I won't be bothered by anything anymore and I'll be living complete peace, right, and I just I personally, don't agree with that because I think, first and foremost, healing, like I said before, it's a journey and it's part of being human. I think there are certain circumstances in life that we cannot control that will require us to heal, okay, so this is just what I mean. Like you know, there are very there are many spiritual teachers and many spiritual teachings that I do agree of.
Speaker 1:But I'm just trying to kind of give that caution, if you will, that sometimes some of these practices and modalities, if you will, they're very oversimplified and they don't apply to everyone, like I was just talking about, right, they don't apply to the person who's been sexually abused as a child or had, as an example, a lot of violence in the household as a child, right? These things, you know, that requires a lot of actual help and different parts of yourselves that need to be healed. So this is what I mean by it really is a journey and not a destination, okay, and the beautiful thing about being human in our healing journey is that you can start anytime, right, like you can literally decide. One day you wake up you're like, okay, I want to live a better life. As an example, right? Or I want to heal the parts of myself that really are still causing issues, or, okay, I think it's really time for myself to you know, heal or address the past trauma that is causing me a significant amount of pain and causing me to not be able to be present in my life. Okay, it is never too late to start nurturing the relationship you have with yourself because, again, it is the only one relationship that you will be with until the end of time. Okay, our relationship with ourselves Set the foundation on which all other relationships are built. The way we treat ourselves influences how we connect with others and, just generally, the world around us. Okay, and I say this because I'm a firm believer that, no matter what happened to us in our life at a certain point in time when we're adults, okay, it is our responsibility to act on that. It is our responsibility to heal those parts that need to be healed. Whether you're starting your healing journey at 40, at 50, at 30, it doesn't matter as long, in my personal opinion, as you get started, right, but it is never too late to start nurturing that relationship that you have with yourself.
Speaker 1:Now, for me personally, my own healing journey really started around the age of 23, 24, when I really knew that I needed to make something change in my life. I knew that I couldn't stay in the rut that I had been for almost two years. I really needed to take action and take control of my life because, again, I was really not in a good place mentally, or emotionally, for that matter. Okay, and that's when, I would say, I found one of the keys to living a more peaceful and fulfilled life, and that key is curiosity.
Speaker 1:Curiosity and being curious about ourselves is the one thing that allows us to really explore ourselves to the full extent of our being okay. And when we allow ourselves to be curious about ourselves not from a place of judgment, okay, but from a place of compassion and wonder that is really when we can start uncovering what is holding us back and what can help us move forward. And the thing about curiosity is it can be implemented anytime in your life, right? I truly believe that as children, we're so curious, and then, when we get older, into our adulthood, it's like our sense of curiosity diminishes, right? But whether you are just starting your healing journey or whether you've been on your healing journey for a while now and you're working on these parts of yourself.
Speaker 1:Curiosity really allows you to even go deeper and to understand yourself on an entirely different level, because, first and foremost, you're putting at the foreground of your consciousness that you're doing this from a place of compassion and non-judgment. Right, because as you get curious, you will uncover parts of yourselves that maybe you don't want to deal with. But, again, if you look at it from a place of wonder and compassion Instead of a place of shame and sadness or anger, as an example, right, or, you know, shame is a really good one, because I think sometimes, when we get on this healing journey, we uncover parts of ourselves and then we're like, oh, I shouldn't be feeling this way, I shouldn't be doing this or acting that way as an example, right, but that really isn't the purpose here. The purpose of curiosity is to help us grow, it's to help us uncover the parts of ourselves that we need to address. And again, for me personally, curiosity is what allowed me to start nurturing the relationship that I had with myself Right, what we were talking about earlier Because not only to discover what I was pushing away into my shadow, right, and again, I've talked about the shadow a bit before, but for those of you that may have never heard this term before, the shadow essentially is all kind of the feelings, the emotions, or literally just the parts of ourselves that we don't want to deal with.
Speaker 1:So we kind of sweep it under the rug and we just put it into our shadow as an example. Right, it's something that we don't want to deal with, and sometimes we just suppress that and we just actually don't want to deal with, so we kind of numb ourselves to kind of avoid dealing with that, right. So for me, my big numbing thing was a lot of mindless scrolling and a lot of weed a few years back, okay, and it could also be parts of ourselves that were unconsciously repressed, so just really thrown out of our mind. Because, you know, maybe it's something that we just absolutely do not want to deal with, something that maybe really hurt us in our childhood, that we just really didn't even want to think about as an example.
Speaker 1:Okay, now the thing that I really want to address about our shadow as well is that our shadow is not a bad thing, and sometimes it can be kind of be seen as this bad thing, right, because it's like these bad parts of ourselves that we've pushed away as an example, right? So obviously, we associate the shadow with being a bad thing, but the shadow is not a bad thing. It's about understanding those shadow behaviors and why we do those different things or why we've pushed down those different parts of ourselves as an example. Right, it's to understand and bring to light why we are numbing ourselves so much, why we are mindlessly scrolling all the time or numbing what needs to be felt with weed or pornography or alcohol or all these different things, right? So, instead of looking at our shadow from a place of shame, it's to bring those things into light and look at them again from a sense of curiosity and wonder and just say you know what is causing me to do this? Right, to look at our shadow from a sense of curiosity, so that we can start integrating those parts of ourselves into our life. Right, so that we can start to heal those different parts of ourselves. So this is really why I want to put that emphasis.
Speaker 1:Okay, the shadow is not a bad part of ourselves, okay, yes, they're quote on quote, perhaps bad behaviors that we're doing and such, but we're bringing them to light so that we can heal those things or change those behavior. And the other thing about our shadow is that 90% of our shadow is golden, okay. So what I mean by that is 90% of our shadow holds the gold that we hold. Okay. So 90% of our shadow actually holds the creative parts of ourselves that we've also pushed away. Okay, it also owns our disowned strengths that we've repressed or suppressed or pushed away because society told us it wasn't okay to do that.
Speaker 1:So maybe as a child, you were someone that genuinely enjoyed singing and you wanted to join a choir or, you know, get into singing lessons, perhaps. Okay, and you're asking your parents and then your parents are shutting you down immediately and saying you know, singing is a waste of time. You should be concentrating and focusing your efforts on your academics, right. So make sure that you're getting good grades and all that, those things. Singing is not important. You're never going to make a talent out of that or you're never going to get a career out of that. Focus on your work, okay.
Speaker 1:So for a child, essentially what that can mean is that that creative part of herself or himself okay, that was just disowned, right. So those strengths around singing and just singing in general was disowned, so that's pushed into the shadow, but that part of them, okay, is an extremely creative part. So that goes into the golden part of our shadow, which again contains over 90% of our shadow. So this is what I mean by getting curious about ourselves, right, because getting curious about ourselves, yes, we start understanding our behaviors, our patterns and why we do certain things, but it's also a time where we can explore our values, our interests and what makes us feel alive. Okay, and a great quote with this Albert Einstein said I have no special talents, I am only passionately curious. And that is so profound. Okay, that's coming from one of the greatest minds to you know, ever have walked the earth, and that's what he's saying Be curious, okay.
Speaker 1:And just to give you a personal example of the golden shadow and a part of myself that I had repressed when I was younger, okay, was writing. So, for me personally, I always loved writing and in my high school years, more specifically, I was really into writing poetry. Okay, and I loved writing poetry, but I knew it wasn't something that a lot of people did and I was kind of worried about what people would say about me writing poetry, as an example. And I did so for a few years and I was pretty quiet about it. I may be told a person or two. And then I started opening up to a few more closer friends that I thought would accept me for that and I was getting weird looks, I was getting weird remarks and I was getting exactly, unfortunately, what I thought would have happened right. So, unfortunately for me, at that point in time I actually stopped writing entirely and I really that I honestly unconsciously just repressed and I pushed it away and I really stopped writing entirely for many, many years after that, and the reason was because, again, it wasn't socially accepted right. So I put that part, that writing part of myself, into my golden shadow. And it wasn't until this year that I started to write more seriously again. And I'm not writing poetry anymore just because I'm not personally drawn to it now, but now I'm writing more kind of like the blog style posts, if that makes sense.
Speaker 1:But really, what I discovered right when I started to write again, I asked myself the question, like, what made me stop writing for so long? Why did I start writing for so long? And I realized that there was a part of me that was still kind of pushing the writing away because of what happened when I was younger. Okay, because I was afraid of what society, kind of, was expecting of me. But then this year I really started to write again and I'm loving it and I'm actually genuinely enjoying it, and this is what I mean. It was a creative part of myself, it was one of my strengths that I pushed away into the shadow right. But this is what I mean by the golden part of our shadow right. The shadow still holds so many of our disowned strengths that we have. So this is what I mean by why curiosity is so important. And for me personally, curiosity allowed me to go from feeling completely lost and disconnected to hopeful and grounded, from a prisoner of my own mind to gaining better control of my mind and from not being able to sit with myself to becoming my very best friend.
Speaker 1:And now I want you to take a moment and reflect, and you can pause me here if you want. But are there parts of yourself that remain unexplored or that need more attention? What are your dreams, your fears or hidden talents that, again, you may have kind of pushed away? What are you curious about exploring in your life right now? Okay, these are little questions that you can, you know, ask yourself anytime, right, because, again, when we start getting more curious about ourselves, when we start getting a better understanding of ourselves overall, our past, our triggers and what hold us back, we can really begin to shine that light of awareness on ourselves and discover those parts of ourselves that may have been suppressed or repressed or that we simply just did not want to bring to our conscious awareness.
Speaker 1:Okay, and it will also help us gain a better understanding of our values, our interests and what makes us feel alive, right, because Carl Jung said something that was absolutely phenomenal and he said until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate. Okay, and that is so powerful because, again, it's really about understanding what is controlling us, so that we don't let it control us anymore, right, so that you know, we're not kind of the puppet master that has its strings, and we're the puppet, and it's kind of just controlling the strings as an example, but it's for us to be able to take control of that puppet master and control our own strings, okay, so that can really help us kind of lead a more peaceful and fulfilling life. And, again, once we start gaining that better understanding of ourselves and those aspects of ourselves, we can start integrating them within ourselves rather than push them away. Right, we will always have a shadow. Right, we will always have a shadow, but it is our responsibility to own it and not put it on anyone else. Okay, the moment we start projecting our shadow and putting things on other people, that's not fair to anyone else, right? So the moment we start owning our shadow, that, in my opinion, is where true healing begins.
Speaker 1:And just a final point before we head on to our next section here. But this is exactly what I mean by healing is a journey, right, when we start to kind of get curious about ourselves, when we start to try different modalities right, maybe it's just starting to work out of the gym, maybe it's, you know, letting go of something that we've been holding on to for so long, as an example, right, these are all things that show that we're healing. There are so many signs that are showing that we're healing, and this is exactly what I meant by healing isn't a destination. You're not fully healed when you get somewhere, as an example, right? Or when you've reached that state of enlightenment, like we were talking about earlier, right? So there are so many signs that we are that are showing that we are healing, right, and, like I said at the beginning, sometimes we can forget how much progress we're making and the challenges that we've overcome, and those are all signs that we are healing, okay.
Speaker 1:So now let's dive into our next section, which is seven signs that show that we're healing. The first sign that I want to share with everyone today is that you are rediscovering who you are. Okay, and this is so important because, again, when you're rediscovering who you are, you're nurturing the relationship you have with yourself, right. So this can look like you have a greater curiosity about yourself, right, and you start to rediscover your interests, your passions, your values and what lights up your soul. You can really begin to truly trust in yourself and your capabilities and you show up more authentically. Okay, and that allows you to show up in the world as you truly are, right. So, honestly, rediscovering yourself is such a huge sign that you are in the middle of that healing journey, okay.
Speaker 1:The second sign that I want to share with everyone today is you begin feeling your emotions rather than suppress them, so this could essentially look like you feel more connected to and safer in your body, okay, and this for some people, depending on trauma and all these different circumstances, sometimes feeling safe in your body can take a significant amount of work and such. So when you start to feel more connected to and safer in your body, that is the sign that you're healing, okay, this can also look like you allow yourself to express yourself, right, whether that be crying, whether that be expressing anger in an appropriate and reasonable way, as perhaps it's, you know, screaming, right, screaming is a great way to release that frustration and that anger. Okay, maybe it's screaming into a pillow, maybe you want to go outside and scream, or in the shower, maybe it's kind of, you know, punching a pillow, or using that anger and frustration in another facet. Right, that could be boxing, that could be like my brother does jujitsu, for example. Right, that could be a great way to kind of release that anger in a positive way, right, but essentially, you are expressing and allowing yourself to express or feel what needs to be felt, okay. Another aspect of this as well could be you accept, welcome and acknowledge your emotions, okay, and you have a better understanding of your emotions as well. So, again, instead of you know, being upset about your shame or being shameful about your shame as an example, right? Or your anger or whatever it may be you, just you accept it, you let it come from a place of non-judgment and you look at it from a sense of compassion. And, again, curiosity, right, you start to get curious about why you're feeling the way you're feeling and just getting that better understanding of what you are feeling.
Speaker 1:The third sign today is that you are reflecting more and reacting less. Okay, so this could essentially mean that you have a better understanding of your thought patterns, your behaviors, your triggers, where they come from and how they impact you. Okay, it could also look like you have more control when triggered and you begin to see triggers as gifts that guide you on your healing journey. So, again, once you start to reflect more right and react less, once you start to get a better understanding of why you think the way you think and when you get triggered as an example, that you take a moment to pause and reflect as opposed to just kind of project something or get upset at someone else as an example right, you're looking within and understanding why that is triggering you, right? In my personal opinion, triggers are gifts right, they are gifts. They are showing us a part of ourself that needs attention. They are showing us a part of ourselves that perhaps is still wounded, right? So once you can start reflecting more and reacting less, that is a significant sign that you are doing the work, that you are healing and, again, you're really progressing on your journey.
Speaker 1:Sign number four is that you are letting go of what no longer serves you. Okay, this could be habits, it could be people, it could be behaviors or past circumstances right, so you're able to finally release them to make room for new growth and new opportunities. So, as an example, this could be a habit that's been holding you back, right. And then you finally get to the root cause of why you've been numbing yourself or constantly drinking, so that you're able to let it go, so that you can, you know, finally create room for new opportunities. Maybe by stopping the drinking habit, as an example, you develop a better relationship with your spouse, you spend more time with your kids whatever that may be okay. Maybe you let go of certain people. Maybe it's a relationship that you've been in that you know just was not working out, that you were meant to let go of. So you finally let that person go so that you can actually move on and meet someone that can meet you at where you're at and can actually share a genuine relationship with you, right, and you're on the same level and you're looking for the same things and you're really doing the work on yourselves but then honestly bringing that into the relationship as well, right, so you're kind of really moving into that conscious relationship and letting go of what no longer is serving you.
Speaker 1:Sign number five is that you stop taking things so personally. Okay, so this can look like you understand that more often than not, it's not about you. People's actions, their words and their behaviors are more often about their own experiences, their own fears and insecurities than a reflection of your worth. And this is so, so, so important to understand, and I think this was probably one of the biggest shifts in my life, and this, to me personally came from a book called the four agreements, and this is actually one of the agreements is to not take anything personally, and I highly, highly recommend to anyone to read that book. It is a small book filled with nuggets of wisdom, and this agreement specifically don't take anything personally is so powerful.
Speaker 1:Okay, because, again, a lot of times, what people are doing. What people are projecting on you has nothing to do with you, right? People are going through their own stuff, they're going through their own battles and sometimes well, not sometimes most of the times unconsciously, we just we project stuff onto other people, right, the things that we don't want to deal with, the things that we're afraid of looking inward to really face ourselves, we put that out onto other people as an example, right? So a lot of the times, things aren't about you. So if you notice in your life that You've stopped taking things so personally and you just do what you're meant to do, right, and you're living more authentically and you're just not really worried about what people are doing, we're saying and you're just honestly saying to yourself, I think that is a significant sign that shows that you're healing. Sign number six is that you are reestablishing boundaries. Okay, so you understand the importance of your own space, time and energy. You're setting healthy boundaries in your relationships.
Speaker 1:And this one really resonates with me deeply, because for a long time I was a chronic people pleaser and this is something I've talked about with my therapist many times before. But you know, I had trouble saying no to a lot of things. I was constantly saying yes to people and places I didn't want to go or just didn't want to be with, all in hopes that I wasn't offending them or hurting their feelings as an example, right. So I had absolutely no idea how to set boundaries or how to say no. So when I really started to understand the importance of that and really kind of Taking back my space, my time and my energy and really setting those boundaries and saying no to the things that didn't align with me, no to the things that didn't align with my values, and just know the things that I generally did not want to do, right, that showed to me that I was significantly healing. And not only that, but it gave me a different sense of confidence, if that makes sense, because I was able to kind of stand for myself and assert myself and not worry too much about other people and really start putting the worry on myself, which is where it should have been in the first place, right. So, so, honestly, re establishing boundaries is such an important sign, and the final sign that I want to share with everyone today is you ask for help and support when needed, okay, so you understand that asking for help is a sign of strength and not weakness. You know that you don't have to go through this alone and support is literally just around the corner, and this is such an important sign for so many reasons.
Speaker 1:But for a lot of us, we were afraid of asking for help, right, we? We think that asking for help we're going to a therapist means that there's something wrong with us or that we're broken or that we need to be fixed as an example. Right, but again, in my personal opinion and I've said this before but we are whole, just as we are. We're not a, we're not broken, first and foremost, and we are not a project that needs to be fixed. We just want to improve our quality of life. It's that simple, right.
Speaker 1:But sometimes just reaching out for help, if you know that you can and if you decide one day like, hey, you know I need help and I really want to get the help and better my life, that is such a huge sign that you're healing and you want to get on this hearing journey, because so many people just don't ask for help. Right, and men specifically, I would say, and obviously this goes for both men and women, but A lot of the times just because how men have been kind of raised by society. Right, men don't cry. Men don't show weakness, men are always strong. Right, there's a reason why they're the suicidal rate for men Is significantly higher than the ones for women. Right, because, again, men have been taught to really not deal with their stuff and not talk about their stuff, not express the emotions and all these different things. Right?
Speaker 1:So If you are someone male or female doesn't matter and you're debating on asking for help, you're debating whether you know this is the right move for you. Please do. Please just seek help, whether that's a coach, a therapist, a professional, whatever you want to reach, even if it's just a family members example. Right, it's so important to just talk to someone and you know if you are looking for coaching or you're interested in coaching. This is what I do personally, right, like I help people one on one, I have my one on one clients that I work with and this is what I absolutely love to do, right? So if you want more information on my coaching and what that looks like, you can find all my information in my podcast description. But again, really, I just really want to emphasize this one but please reach out for help. If you need help Now.
Speaker 1:Just as I wrap up this episode for today, I just wanted to say that obviously there are many other signs that can show that we are healing right. These are just signs that I personally pick from my own personal journey, from clients that I've worked with and just people that I've talked to. Overall, right Again, really quickly, seven signs that you're healing, just to summarize here. But, first and foremost, you're rediscovering who you are. Right, you're really getting curious about yourself and beginning to understand your values, your interests and what's holding you back, right? So sign number two is you begin to feel your emotions and what you're going through, rather than push it away, okay.
Speaker 1:Sign number three is that you're reflecting more and you're reacting less, so you're taking a pause, as an example, when something is triggering you, and you're getting a better understanding of where that's coming from. Sign number four is that you're letting go of what no longer serves you right. That could be habits, relationships, people, whatever it may be so that you're making new room for growth and opportunities. Sign number five is that you stop taking things so personally and you really don't let people get to you as much as you did before. Sign number six is that you're reestablishing those boundaries, whether those be physical boundaries, emotional boundaries or time boundaries, whatever those may be but you're putting those boundaries when they need to be there.
Speaker 1:Sign number seven is that you're asking for help and support whenever you need it. So, that being said, that's all I've got for you guys on today's episode. If you did like the episode, please feel free to leave a comment or review, share it. It really helps bring awareness to what I'm trying to do, which is really kind of, you know, spread this podcast on a broader scale to really help people just navigate everyday life challenges. So, again, with that being said, I hope you have a good week and I will catch you guys next week.
